Page 98 of Dominion

“What is that?” I asked, keeping my arms around Skylar. “Is that?”

“From Dylan,” he said, slowly walking inside. “Yeah. I... I know I had complicated feelings about him, and I know that you guys might not believe what I have to say, but I am devastated that this has happened. He... Uh…” He scratched his neck. “He didn’t want to abandon you. Hell, I didn’t want him to abandon you, but he wanted to help. He wanted to retrieve the files that could incriminate Judah, and I couldn’t say no. I should have, though.” He stopped, taking a seat in the lone chair next to the dresser, opposite of the bed. “I should’ve told him that it was dangerous, that he would end up in an impossible situation, but I didn’t.”

“Even if you had,” Skylar started. “You wouldn’t have been able to stop him from doing it. At least this way he always had someone in his corner. He was stubborn.” She smiled softly. “But you already knew that.”

“I did.” Casimir nodded. “But it doesn’t make me feel better if I’m being honest. I should have dealt with this entire situation differently, instead of barging into your lives and demanding things I had no right to demand. I was... I was an asshole, you know?”

“Yeah,” I said. “You were. But we all are if you think about it, so don’t worry about it.”

He seemed to contemplate my words, but his facial expression still reflected his inner thoughts. He wasn’t lying when he said that he was devastated this had happened, butnone of us could’ve seen this coming. We had a plan, a good fucking plan, until Judah fucked it all up.

“I didn’t come here to ask for your forgiveness?—”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Cas,” Skylar said, while I nodded. “You were trying to do as best as you could with what was given to you. Dylan’s death isn’t on you.” God, we sounded like broken records. I wondered if we were the only ones blaming ourselves, or if there were others, doing the same thing.

“I know, but it’s hard to shake off that feeling, you know?” he added. “I keep thinking about our last conversation, and the things he said. I keep thinking that maybe if I had arrived earlier, none of this would’ve happened.”

“But we will never know,” I chimed in. “It’s futile thinking over and over again about all these things that we can’t change. It’s futile living in the past, when the future is just around the corner. Don’t succumb to all these feelings when there are other things we need to focus on.”

“When the fuck did you become so wise?” He chuckled, looking at me.

“Five minutes ago?”

Skylar started laughing, and it was something I didn’t expect to hear for a very long time. But seeing that shine in her eyes, and the bright smile on her face, gave me hope that at the end of this journey, we would be able to move on and live our lives as if none of this ever happened.

“Look,” Casimir said, looking at the manila file in his hands. “I didn’t want to do this yet, but I think you should have this. Dylan bought a house.” That wasn’t news to us. “And he left it to you. I mean, he put all three of you on the deed. I think it’s up to you what you’re going to do about it, but he also left this.” Casimir lifted an envelope and showed it to us. “I didn’t open it, and I don’t know what the contents are, but I think you should have it.”

Skylar stood up from the bed and approached Casimir, taking the envelope from him. Her eyes sought out mine, and I could see all the emotions playing there, but I had no words of encouragement right now. I didn’t have it in me to try and make this situation any lighter.

“I’m gonna leave this with you,” Casimir said, standing up and leaving the manila file on top of the dresser. “All the information about the house he bought is there, and if you need me, I’ll be in the office downstairs.”

He left the room, leaving Skylar and me and the letter Dylan had left. Would it give us the answers we so desperately needed? Probably not. Would it give us closure?

“Come here, Sky,” I urged her when she kept standing in the same spot, minutes after Casimir left, staring at that envelope. “We’ll open it together.”

“He wrote our names on it,” she murmured, walking on autopilot toward me. She sat down and before she could do anything else, I pulled her closer to me, taking the letter from her.

“Are you okay to read this? We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” She kept her eyes on the envelope, and that small nod was all I needed to tear it open, pulling out the white paper neatly folded inside.

Dear Skylar and Ash,

I hoped that you would never have to read this letter. In all honesty, I don’t even know why I’m writing it, especially because I know that in a few hours we will all be together again. But my past experiences have taught me that it’s better to be prepared, and in case anything were to happen to me, I want you to at least have this. I want you to know that one of the hardest decisions I ever had tomake was to leave you two in that chalet. I didn’t want to do it that way, but I knew you would never agree with the plan I had made. Hell, even Casimir couldn’t agree and I don’t think that he likes me all that much. But I am sorry. I am sorry for all the heartache and pain I have caused. You will never know how happy you two made me. In a life filled with so much darkness, you guys were the light I needed to push forward, to continue trying, to be a better man. We all know that my past deeds wouldn’t make me a saint, but being by your side gave me hope. Hope that I won’t have to live my life in this pit of darkness my father created for me. Hope that I would actually get to live. Really, really live.

I want you to know how much I love you. I will always love you. I have loved Skylar from the first moment I saw her, standing there on that front porch, looking at me with wonder in her eyes. I know that our relationship wasn’t conventional, Sky, and that I made more mistakes than anyone ever should, but I want you to know that I have always wanted only the best for you.

And Ash... My dear Ash. I fucking hated you the first time I saw you, but I think that I hated what you represented more than who you were. I hated the fact that I couldn’t hate you at all, because I was attracted to you from that first moment. I saw you before you even saw me. Maybe I needed you a little bit more than you needed me, but while I fell in love with Skylar gradually and over the years, I crashed and burned by falling in love with you. And I wouldn’t mind doing it again.

If you have read this far, I know it’s because I’m not there anymore, and you will never know how sorry I amthat we won’t get to spend the rest of our lives together. But I don’t want you to be sad. I don’t want you to worry about me because I’ll be fine. I need you to be okay, too. I need you to do all the things we couldn’t do together, and I will watch over you until we meet again.

I want you to be happy, and I want you to be proud of everything you have accomplished. I want you to soar, to laugh, and live and love. To have an amazing family, because I will only be a few thoughts away. Always there to watch over, always there to support from the shadows.

You gave me love.

You showed me what it felt like when you were truly loved by someone, and my only regret is that we didn’t have enough happy moments to erase all the ugly ones. But if there’s one thing I am sure of is that our souls are connected.

Maybe this life wasn’t enough to explore everything, but the next one will be.

I will forever wait for you, no matter how long it takes.

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