Page 55 of One Shot

“Definitely should have called,” Jaylin grumbles under her breath.

“Great, but don’t do that again,” Tyler sternly response. “You clearly want to talk about something.”

“Do you mind if I shower first? I’m all gross from my run. It will give Bren time to make an extra pack of bacon. We are going to need it.”

Tyler reluctantly nods, running his hand through his hair again.

Stepping under the shower spray, my thoughts are racing. Am I ready to share this secret?

When I enter the kitchen freshly showered but face still red from my long run, there are three sets of eyes following my every move. I grab a piece of crunchy bacon and start to grab a cup of coffee.

“Laur,” Bren demands, “Are you going to just pretend like you didn’t ask us to be here to talk about something important?”

I sigh into my piece of bacon and nod. She’s right.

“The date was fine. Brian is a perfect gentleman,” I start.

“But he’s not for you,” Tyler acknowledges with a knowing look.

My face betrays my guilt as I confirm with a nod.

“There’s nothing wrong with that!” Jaylin chimes in.

“Sure, he’s my friend, Laur, but that’s okay,” Tyler reassures me.

“Yes, he’s not for me. But he tried to kiss me, and I pushed him,” I continue.

“Like pushed him away orpushedhim, pushed him?” Bren questions.

I grab another piece of bacon.

“Pushed him, pushed him. I . . . there’s something I need to tell you three, but it doesn’t leave this room, not yet. It’s going to be hard for me to talk about. I will cry. I will need this entire plate of bacon to myself. I will really, really cry. I’m talking snot rockets, losing my voice, dehydration for years. It is going to be ugly, but I need you to let me finish my story before saying anything or trying to comfort me, okay?”

All three of them mutter some type of yes reply with looks of panic and concern on their faces.

“I mean it, I can’t have you interrupt, promise you won’t.” I look at each of them until I hear three yeses.

My hands are trembling as I clench the plate of bacon like it’s my lifeline. After over a year of not talking about it with anyone, I start telling them my reason for swearing off love.

“Nathan was a great boyfriend at first. He was so attentive and sweet. He would randomly give me long stem roses, which I love. I was always around most of his friends before dating him, so our lives seemed to integrate easily.”

Taking a sip of my coffee, I dig deep in my mind for the memories that I purposely locked away.

“The first year or so we dated, I thought it was pretty great. I didn’t notice at the time—but he would gaslight me and make me feel like I was making things up. He was best friends with this girl that would purposely try to get with him and say things to him like ‘I wish I could wear your jersey to senior night, but you have a girlfriend.’”

A piece of bacon crumbles in my hand as I think about that dreadful girl.

“I hated her. Nathan made me feel insane. I don’t think he ever cheated on me, but he would always say she meant nothing by it, and they were just friends, even when she would flat out say she wished he didn’t have a girlfriend. He would call me crazy or insecure. Iwasinsecure because he rarely made me feel secure in our relationship.”

I spin my coffee mug, staring into it, avoiding their eyes.

“I tried to be as understanding as possible. I had a lot of guy friends growing up with a brother who played hockey. I distinctly remember Nathan even giving me shit about you multiple times,” I say the last part to Tyler.

“He would say things like ‘you find him attractive, don’t you?'”

Tyler grunts his annoyance that he would be used against me like that.

“I mean yeah you’re not fucking blind,” Bren mutters. I glare at her. “Sorry, no interruptions.”

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