Page 62 of One Shot

“The only person I told before Bren, Tyler, and Jaylin was Nick. It’s hard to talk about,” I whisper. Suz shifts her eyes around the room at the mention of Jaylin’s name.

“I think it will take me a while to be at peace with it, but I do feel lighter than I have felt in a long time just by being at West, by being around the team and having supportive, loving people in my life, like you.”

An eerie silence fills the room. It’s unlike any of us to be quiet this long . . .

“Can we go get some lunch and stop being sad? It will feel weird not being with you both at the game tomorrow. I could use the distraction.”

“Absolutely,” Bren agrees. “Let’s get some Italian!”

“Let me cancel my date,” Suz replies. A faint ringing trickles down the stairs. Suz crinkles her noise in frustration, whoever her date was didn’t pick up. “I’ll try again. Lunch dates are too comfortable anyways, right? Once you add lunch dates to the mix, it’s like you really just want to see each other and jump into a relationship!”

“Suz, why are you calling me when I can hear your voice in my own house?” Jaylin shouts from upstairs.

Jaylin is her lunch date?! She’s been dating Jaylin?

The dots start to connect—Jaylin is her lunch date! Has she been dating Jaylin this whole time?!

“Well now I feel dumb for not noticing you were dating Jaylin this whole time,” I mutter.

“Why?” Jaylin asks, as Suz says, “We aren’t officially dating.”

“That’s a lie and another conversation topic, Suzanna. We will have the girlfriend talk later.” Jaylin comes down the stairs and kisses Suz on the forehead.

They are adorable together—a hippie and her Barbie.

“Because you two both mentioned similar dates, like the picnic date, which by the way was the cutest idea, Jaylin.”

“I’ll call you later, Jay. Sorry to cancel; we are going to go to lunch,” Suz says through a sweet grin.

“I heard. Yes, call me later, non-girlfriend.” Jaylin squeezes Suz’ arm but doesn’t push her and heads to the kitchen.

“She has been so understanding of my situation. It’s not like I’m trying to hide who I am; I just still have trauma from growing up,” Suz admits. After a beat of silence, Suz quietly adds, “I really am lucky to have met her.”

“I knew you would hit it off!” Bren shrieks. Of course, Bren knew!

“Can we have lunch drinks too? It’s barely past noon, but this morning has me in a whirlwind already.”

I’m not looking for anyone to answer. It was a rhetorical question. A lunch drink is very needed. I’m already over analyzing what Lucas will think once I miss the game against East tomorrow. There is no world in which he doesn’t notice I’m not there. Telling him why is going to be harder than any conversations I’ve had to have in the last few weeks.

Chapter thirty

Laur

Ihave a newfound sense of hope knowing I am not the only one who has suffered. Of course, rationally I knew before, but hearing Suz’ story gives me strength. I’ve been progressing so much these past few months. Every day is a battle with depression. Medication and time can’t take away the devastating pain that accompanies every memory I have of Nick, but I’m starting to make new memories too. It’s impossible for them to replace Nick, but I’m starting to be kind of happy. Moving past my relationship trauma is just another step in the path to finding myself and my happiness. It might take a long time, but I know I can get there.

Bren said bye before she left decked out in her Wyverns gear. My lips press tightly together as I creepily watch her walk down the street out the window. Missing the game is harder on me than I expected it to be. Despair lingers in the now empty house. In my room, I look for Nick’s notebook. I want to see what he wrote about East. I start to panic not being able to find it anywhere, but then I remember Lucas still has it. I hastily go through my closet to find my favorite Wyverns sweatshirt. I pull it on and head to the couch.

“This is what’s best for me right now,” I whisper to myself. Even though my heart aches to be there, I know it would break me to see Nathan’s despicable face. I’m not ready. Not yet.

Snuggling into the couch, I pull my fuzzy grey blanket up to my chin and switch my phone to ‘do not disturb’—I don’t want to get any news about the game. I throw my headphones on and press play onmy current audiobook. If anyone has the power to distract me from today’s game, it’s a morally grey, dark and dreamy fae.

The ‘thank you for listening’ spiel lets me know that I’ve reached the end of my audiobook. Already?! It feels like I just hit play. At least the book was a great distraction. I turn my phone off ‘do not disturb’ mode and mark all my texts as read. I’m feeling weirdly okay, but I don’t want any conversations about the game to ruin that. My phone pings with a text from Bren checking up on me and asking if I want her to stay at our house tonight. Her thoughtfulness makes me feel cared for like a warm hug wrapping around me, helping to hold the pieces together. I text her that it's silly to ask, she, of course should stay with Liam. I’ll see her soon. I wouldn’t mind starting the next book in the series anyways. The outcome of the game doesn’t even cross my mind.

It’s been a few days since I missed the game against East. I quickly found out that it was the first loss of the season. Rumblings around campus indicate the game was hard to watch. The winning streak is over. Anticipation runs through me knowing Bren, Suz, and I are attending the next away game together, which helps to push the lingering thoughts of the East game out of my mind. I haven’t been to any away games yet.

Suz is driving us down to the game in Illinois once she’s done with class. Coach Andres would have graciously let us take the bus with the guys, but Bren hinted that it might smell strongly of sweaty equipment. I’ve had more than enough of my fill experiencing that from growing up with Nick. The three-hour drive seems to breeze by with the three of us screaming 90s boy band hits at the top of our lungs. I missed having carefree fun with friends.

We hit some traffic, so we go straight to the arena for the game and take our seats. Butterflies dust off their wings and flutter in my gut, knowing I’ll see Lucas. It’s been a while since we talked. I wonder if he knows about the new articles I’m writing or if he’s read the article I wrote about him yet. I know Tyler read his article because he sent me a selfie with it. He even said he had to talk his mom out of sending me flowers as a thank you for writing it.

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