Page 64 of One Shot

“Yeah, you can be mad. I think you’re just hurt. But news flash, Captain, the world doesn’t revolve around you. You know her, don’t you think she had a good reason for not going and for not telling you?”

I shrug. She’s right; Laur overcommunicates, even when she is denying she likes me, she's usually up-front with me. I didn’t really think about her reasoning. I’m just frustrated that she wasn’t there, and my head wasn’t in the game because of it.

“Get your head out of your ass, Lucas. You are never the douchey conceited guy. Please do the world a favor and don’t start being one now.” Throwing my earbud at me in frustration, Bren storms down the bus aisle to sit next to Liam.

“She’s right,” Tyler chimes in from across the aisle. I didn’t ask for his opinion, and I certainly don’t need it. But if I say that, I’ll just be even more of an ass. I can’t blame Laur for how the game against East turned out. Her not being there had nothing to do with it. We were running on fumes the last period; there wasn’t a chance we would have won.

I need to find her as soon as I’m back on campus.

“Hey, are we going to get this bus moving?” I ask Coach.

Three hours later, I’m knocking on her front door. I know she’s home alone—Bren is at Liam’s, and I texted Suz to ask her where Laurwas at. Even Suz sent me a frustrated, very straightforward “stop acting like a stereotypical douche,” which means I really outdid myself. I feel like I’ve been run over by a Zamboni.

Laur doesn’t answer the door. I knock again, patiently waiting. She still doesn’t answer the door. I quickly text Suz to ask if she’s sure Laur is home, and she responds immediately with ayes.

I start to knock out a rhythm on the door, very loudly. I’m leaning into the door making a musical display with my knocking. Maybe this will get her attention, and she’ll know it’s not some random person trying to sell her something. A smirk forms on my face thinking about Laur stomping down the stairs to answer the door.

She pulls open the door so fast, leaving me off kilter and weightless, just like the first time I spotted her from across the bar. She looks at me with a judgmental look I’ve never seen her give me before.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

That’s the first thing that comes out of my mouth? Wow. I am off to a great apology.

“I’m not looking at you like anything, Lucas,” she replies smoothly and calmly, her words slightly cold.

“You look at Mitchell that way when you are disgusted with him,” I start. “I know I was an ass, but come on, I’m not as bad as he is.”

“No, Lucas, you’re worse. He makes sex jokes and teases me. You pretend you like me, then treat me poorly when you’re mad because you lost a game I just happened to not be at.”

“You’re right. I am worse. I put my feelings and myself first. I didn’t think about why you wouldn’t be at the game.” My hand trembles slightly as I run my fingers through my hair.

“I was just so confused. Iamso confused—you just wrote this beautiful, almost poetic article about me and then didn’t show up. I was hurt you weren’t there. It has nothing to do with us losing and everything to do with me being vulnerable to you. I promise I will be better about communicating when something bothers me.”

“Thank you for apologizing, but it doesn’t change things for me right now.”

“I can’t walk away from you. I can’t let you go. You can’t walk away either.”

“It just can’t happen. We are friends, that’s all I can be right now.” Her voice is assertive and stern.

“Fuck, Lauren, do you think I want to be in love with the little sister of my old mentor that I looked up to since I was seventeen?! It’s not like I’m trying to feel this way.”

Her mouth falls open, gaping at me with distress in eyes. The things I want to do with that mouth . . . The thought sends heat southward. This girl has my mind in every direction possible. My heart feels like it will beat out of my chest.

My brain is telling me to shut up, but my words spew out of my mouth faster than I can even think them.

“I didn’t plan this. I just feel it. Every time I look at you. Every time I’m around you. I feel more myself than I ever have in my life. It just clicked the first time I hung out with you. This is it. This is the feeling they make movies and write books about. You know I’m right.”

She’s holding back tears. Her bright blue eyes look like a cloudy, rain-filled sky. I want to hold her in my arms so badly, but she’s half hidden behind the door now.

“This is our one shot at something real. It all makes sense—youmake sense.”

I see the tears fall like rain drops from her storm-stricken eyes.

“I’m sorry, Lucas.” It’s a faint whisper, but it hits like lightning to my heart. She closes the door. Defeat takes over as I crumble to a seat on the porch. What am I missing? What did I do wrong?

Chapter thirty-two

Laur

---