The hot water is ready for the hot chocolate. I add one and a half packets to both mugs and hand her one. She immediately adds a shot and a mound of whip cream on top of hers.
She puts down the whip cream can and lets out the biggest sad sigh I have ever heard.
“You’re right, your signature drink is very cozy.” I indulge in more whip cream.
She looks into her mug and whispers, “Are you sure you don’t think I’m a bad person?”
Her shoulders sag as if she’s defeated. I grab her waist and pull her close, being careful not to spill any of her hot chocolate or whip cream.
“Why would you even say that? You are far from a bad person, Laur.”
“Are you sure?” Her voice is quieter than it was a second ago.
“I am positive,” I say, squeezing her with one arm as I sip my hot chocolate.
“Even though it’s my fault?”
“What do you mean?” I say, “What he did to you is absolutely not you—”
Before I can finish, she says, “Oh. Bren didn’t tell you.”
I look at her puzzled. She makes that sad, pained sigh again.
“The night Nick and I got in the car accident, we were arguing. I told him about Nathan’s abuse. It was the first game of the season and the first with Nick as captain and—"
“—and it was against East,” I finish her sentence. She nods.
“Nathan screamed at me for wearing Nick’s jersey and going to celebrate with him after the game. Nick saw it happen. I had to tell Nick everything. I wanted to long before . . .” she trails off. I can tell her mind is going a mile a minute.
“Anyways, we were arguing. I can’t help but wonder if we weren’t arguing in the car if Nick would still be here. If he wasn’t trying to comfort me, would we still have gotten hit by the drunk driver?”
I grab her face in my hands, “Lauren Chip Bellinger, do not ever say anything like that again in your entire life. If I hear those words comeout of your mouth, I will never speak to you again. There is absolutely no way in heaven or hell or any other realm the accident was your fault.”
Tears swell in her eyes again. She tries to blink them back and whispers, “Never speak to me again? That’s a bit dramatic.”
She leans into me, wraps her arm around my torso and hugs me tight.
“I wouldn’t last more than a week. You already know that.”
“I’m sorry I made sex jokes about the whip cream and then got all depressed mess again.”
“Never apologize for the way you feel. I told you, Lauren, I’m all in.”
“Depressed mess and all?” Her round eyes look up at me seeking validation.
“Depressed mess and all, Laur.” I kiss her lightly.
“Can we watchMystery, Alaska? Since I already ruined the mood,” she asks.
I laugh. No one ever knows that movie, but it’s one of my top five favorite movies of all time.
“Is that a yes?”
“Yes, pretty girl. That is one of my favorite movies”
The shadows that plague her eyes seem to have lifted. That bright beautiful blue is my favorite color to exist.
“Nick and I always watched it when one of us was having a hard time. He loved it, but I don’t think it’s as funny as he does.” She shakes her head. “I mean did.”