Page 10 of Divine II

“We’re almost done with our session. I’ll let him know he’s here.”

This was the time when I would usually yoke him up by the collar and toss him to the side. I didn’t know who he was and didn’t give a damn. The only reason that I didn’t drag him out of the way was because I wasn’t all that eager to see my dad. Plus,due to the situation, I was trying to practice some restraint. I was already a nervous wreck.

“Larry, Ms. Margie says your son is here.” I heard him talking through the door.

All of a sudden, I was a twelve-year-old kid afraid to face his father. I probably needed therapy for the deep-seated trauma festering inside me from years of abuse. Instead, I had been avoiding these God-forsaken people as if they would vanish from the face of the Earth. I knew damn well my luck had never been that good.

My chest tightened as the door widened, giving me a better view of the inside of the study. Cool air wafted from the room, cooling my sweaty palms. My mouth went dry as I came face to face with a man with the same eyes and stature as my own, except he was a shell of the man I once feared, not only due to the passing of time, but my dad was also in a wheelchair.

Seeing him that way didn’t come as a surprise. My dad was in a wheelchair because of me. When I’d meant to kill him, I left him paralyzed from the waist down due to a lumbar spinal injury. The doctors said it was a miracle that he wasn’t completely paralyzed due to his injuries.

Years of obsessive research had made me an expert on his condition, but none of it brought me any solace. Honestly, I would have felt better if I would have killed him. Watching him suffer was a worse fate than knowing that I had taken his life. My mom used to say that he was so miserable and angry that he couldn’t die until he paid for his sins. If that was his fate, then what did that say about me?

“I wasn’t sure if you’d come,” he said, pushing the controller to bring himself closer.

My jaw stiffened as I debated what I would say in response.

“Neither did I.”

“Well, shit. Come on in,” he said, backing up to give me access to the room. “Dennis, let’s end our session early today. Margie, grab us a couple of beers,” my dad ordered.

“Same time tomorrow, chief,” the man he’d referred to as Dennis said.

“Got it.” My dad nodded before giving me his full attention. “Have a seat, son.”

“I’m good with standing,” I countered.

“Well, as you can see, I don’t have a choice.” He chuckled.

I hated when he did that. I was never sure if he was passive aggressively trying to make me feel guilty about his condition or just making light of the situation. Whether he was trying to make me feel guilty or not, that’s exactly what he was doing. Not that I was sorry, but I felt like I was being punished for doing what I still thought was right to this day.

“What happened?” I asked, cutting to the chase.

“Get settled in first, and then we’ll get to all of that.”

“I’m not staying here.” I shook my head.

“Why the hell not? This is just as much your house as it is mine. Your room is all set up. I had Margie get it ready just in case you showed up. Honestly, I didn’t think you would show, but I’m glad you did.”

Who the hell was this man? Granted, I hadn’t had a decent conversation with him in forever. Still, he seemed too calm, too understanding.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be here,” I told him.

“Nonsense, Liam. Margie has missed the hell out of you, and if I’m being real, I missed you too.”

“What is this?” I asked. “Are you trying to take it easy on me because of Mom? I don’t need coddling, Dad. You and I both know we’ve never been the lovey dovey father-son duo. I’m good with that. I didn’t come here to play happy family. I came to paymy respects and help you with whatever arrangements you need to make.”

“Son, I know we’ve never set horses, but you’re my son, and I love you no matter what you may think.”

I sneered. “I find that hard to believe.”

“Yes, I had a fucked up way of showing it. I admit that. My dad’s idea of showing me that he loved me was making sure I was tough. I thought that was the right way. I understand now that I probably went about things the wrong way. I thought being a provider was all I needed to do. I didn’t think about the long-term consequences of my actions. Being an insufferable asshole is what confined me to this chair.”

“Have you made the arrangements for Mom?” I asked, redirecting the conversation.

My dad chuckled and shook his head. He knew what I was doing.

“She and I made sure that all of our affairs were in order a long time ago.”

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