Page 279 of Kentrell

Ain’t wanna eat. Ain’t wanna breathe. Hell, if my heart would’ve cooperated and stopped beating in my sleep, I wouldn’t’ve been mad at it.

The bed felt bigger without her. Colder. Like her warmth never touched these sheets. Like she was a dream I made up just to survive the nights.

But she was real. And I lost her.

The fucked up part? I ain’t even fight her when she left. Gave her the keys, watched her go, said that cold ass line like I ain’t mean every word opposite of it.If I wanted to, I would’ve been did it.Truth. But also a confession. That’s what really scared her. That’s what pushed her away.

Now I’m just here. Staring up at this high-ass ceiling in a house I bought to feel like a king, feeling like a prisoner instead.

My phone lit up again. Another missed call. Probably Wani. Or Kensei. I ain’t checking. I ain’t talking. I ain’t doing shit.

There was a time I ain’t care about nothing but the streets and taking care of my brothers. And even then I ain’t feel thisnumb. Zoe done walked outta here carrying the last piece of me I had left, and I let her.

I turned on my side, pillow still smelling like her. The faint scent of her heat protectant for her hair. A little hint of that pink sugar body butter she wore when she wasn’t tryna be sexy, but ended up being sexy anyway.

My fingers twitched, reaching for her without thinking.

Nothing.

Just sheets.

Just loss.

I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling again. The silence in here was loud. Too damn loud. I could hear every little creak, every tick of the clock down the hall. My heartbeat. My regrets.

How the fuck did I end up here?

I finally sat up. Shoulders heavy like I’d been carrying bricks in my sleep. Feet hit the floor, cold as hell. But I needed that. Needed something to shock me back into motion.

I rubbed my face, elbows on my knees, tryna get my shit together. But nothing about me felt solid. I was unraveling from the inside out.

Get her back.

That thought hit first. Loud. Sharp. Repetitive. Like a drumbeat in my chest.

But how?

I stood up. Pacing.

This shit she found… it was massive. Her whole life… I played with that. Even if I ain’t see it that way at the time. I knew I wasn’t gon’ do shit to her. Not then… not ever. But how the fuck she supposed to know that? She couldn’t. Not with how it looked. Not with the way I moved.

Even with all the good intentions in the world… everything I did to love her right—looked like manipulation. Like a setup. Like a trap.

“Fuck!” I damn near punched a hole through my palm tryna catch my swing before it cracked the drywall.

That bitch-ass nigga set me up. Dirty, grimy, sneaky-ass nigga. Ain’t no way in hell he could’ve predicted I’d fall for Zoe… but shit… even blind, he still came out with the better hand. ‘Cause now? Now I ain’t have her. And worse… I ain’t know if she was safe.

“Fuck!” I hit my chest this time… open palm… just to feel something other than this knot in my throat.

This shit had me out here damn near pacing like Trey offBoyz n the Hood, wanting to swing at the air… wanting to break something. Hell… break everything.

“Yo ass a bitch…” I could hear Wani now. Talking slick like he always do. I dragged my hand down my face, squeezing my jaw till it damn near cracked.

“Nah… I gotta get my shorty back.” Fuck all that space shit.

She had a week. 168 hours to be exact. That’s more than enough time for her to cool off… come back to her senses… remember who the fuck I was to her.

I could pull up on her friends. Mars… the cousin… Ayesha… Hell… even her mama… Nah… scratch that. That woman probably got a goddamn hit out on me by now.

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