Page 184 of Carnal Games

“You will never hurt me,” I confidently say, reaching for his injured hand. I tighten my grip when he tries pulling away and rub my fingers over his knuckles. “The broken mirror in the elevator.” I remember a man fixing it when Nathan and I left for dinner. “That was you?”

He says nothing, keeps staring right through me. He’s punishing me with the one thing I pleaded with him not to.

Shutting me out.

“I am sorry,” I whisper.

Shrugging my hand off like he can’t stand my touch, he pours himself another shot and walks toward the doorway. I chase after him into the hallway, capturing his elbow to make him stop. “Kian, please. Let me explain.”

He whirls around like a furious wave of a tsunami and yells, “You let me go! You dropped my hand and reached for him. You let him touch you. You went with him. He’s your fiancé and I am the other guy. There’s nothing to explain.”

“I… I… No,” I stammer.

“I don’t know how much, but you do love him, Iris,” he accuses, betrayal written on every hard angle of his face. “And I told you I won’t be your dirty secret. So, go back to your fiancé before I take the choice away from you.”

“I do love him.” Kian flinches, and I hurriedly explain, “But not in the way you think.”

He looks up at the ceiling, and a hollow and cruel laugh rumbles from him. “The first time I want more with a woman and I choose the most complicated one.”

The slightest drunken slur in his deep voice concerns me. Disregarding his comment, I inch closer and fist his shirt. “Please look at me, Kian.”

His head drops, haunted and dull eyes locking with mine.

The loneliness and suffering in them crack my heart in two.

His hand lifts, cradling my cheek. In a tone full of longing as he strokes the side of my face with his thumb, he gruffly murmurs, “Why show me a glimpse of a life with you if I can’t ever have it? Why are you toying with me? Why so cruel, little rainbow?”

“Kian,love,” I rasp, tears free-falling. “I never wanted to hurt you. Please believe me.”

His whole body shudders at the endearment, his gaze becoming hooded. Backing me against the wall, he brokenly asks, “Am Iyourlove?”

Long before I knew what love was. “I want you to be.”

“Then why haven’t you left Nathan? Why does he have the right to touch you?” His chest pulling taut, his face becomes murderous as he growls, “Did he fuck you tonight?”

I flush in embarrassment at the vulgar question.

He takes it as an affirmation and shoves himself away from me, his drink sloshing to the floor before he slams it on the table.

“Motherfucking! Fuck!” he curses.

“Kian, listen—”

“Don’t.” He puts his hand up. “I’m trying to be a good man. And I haven’t been one in a very long time. If I don’t try to restrain myself, I’m going to destroy my brother’s life once again, rainbow. It’s driving me fucking insane that you’re not mine already. Why the hell did you have to be his?” His deep voice loses its edge at the end of the sentence.

“I am not!”

Chapter Forty-Eight

Iris

My shout rings in the hall as my hand flies to my mouth.

Kian stills so menacingly, not even a tornado could knock him down. Gaze narrowing into slits, he enunciates each word, “What did you say?”

My throat closing up, I swallow the brick lodged inside it. I shift on my feet, aware it’s too late to take back what I revealed.

As I stare at Kian, I realize I don’t want to.

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