Page 7 of Carnal Games

I’m stunned into silence. My sympathy for his best friend vanishing like a puff of air. “Fine, you win. I can’t beat that.”

Strolling along the sidewalk, we reach an empty bench and sit down, the ease between us surprising me in the best way. I’ve only ever felt this way with my childhood best friend, Yukta, who is soon moving abroad to study.

“Back to you,” he utters. “What made you decide to stop watching him?”

“I have to. I mean… Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?”

“What made you obsessed with him in the first place?” One of his eyebrows lift in disbelief. “He couldn’t possibly be that attractive.”

Oh, he’s breathtaking.

“To me, he is,” I honestly share, my thoughts drifting to Mr. Severe and my tangled mess of feelings, making my heart pick up speed. “But it’s not the only reason. There’s just something about him that keeps making me come back for more. An electrifying awareness sinks in whenever I see him. All my senses sharpen and go into overdrive until the rest of the world disappears. I’ve had crushes before, but none like this… intenseand exciting. He’s constantly on my mind and I’m counting down the hours until I can see him again. I’m a complete mess for him and I don’t even know his name.”

Shaking my head, I put a break to my speech and shut up. Daring to sneak a glance at my companion, I slowly turn my head and meet his eyes. They stare at me unblinking like I’m an alien. His arm that’s stretched behind me on the bench moves when he taps it with his knuckles.

“Still don’t think I’m crazy?” I press, sitting straighter.

If I went to church and this were a confessional booth, he’d be telling me how to repent for my sin right about now. Instead, he utters the last thing I expect.

“Sounds a lot like love at first sight to me,” he murmurs in awe and disbelief. Fixing me to the spot with a small smile, he admits, “I never thought it could be possible.”

It’s my turn to gape, unblinking.

Love?

He’s wrong.

That stuff only occurs in movies, not in real life. It simply couldn’t be possible, yet the way my gut clenches and my heart feels like it’ll burst out of my chest, I’m doubting myself. Because a part of me wants to lock up these feelings.

Does this mean I am really in love with Mr. Severe from a single glance?

I tremble, picturing that hauntingly beautiful and unforgettable face. One I see every time I close my eyes. Like it’s waiting in the shadows to pop out anytime I think of him.

Nevertheless, this couldn’t be defined as love.

It’s hard to name these emotions because I don’t know what beinginlove is like. I believe it’s different for everyone. There’s no single way to describe it.

Ugh… here I thought voicing all this out loud would be of help.

Now, I’m left even more conflicted and confused.

I’m shaken out of my thoughts when my nonjudgmental companion speaks up.

“If you feel for him this strongly, you should’ve gone up and talked to him.”

“And say what?Oh, hey, I’m obsessed with you and I come to the park every day to watch you?”

Again, his lips twitch, and he teases, “Well, we wouldn’t want to scare the poor guy away.”

I scoff, rolling my eyes.

“A plain hi would suffice.”

I heave a resigned sigh before replying, “My crush is way out of my league.”

Come to think of it, so is this pretty stranger sitting beside me. With his perfectly styled hair, curly around the edges, and warmth in his eyes.

A crease mars the space between his eyebrows at my answer. His gaze softens as it roams over my face before his head tilts an inch toward me. “I think you’re underestimating your beauty.”

---