Page 10 of Lost and Found

“A bunch of us had the night off so we went out. Leaona got caught in the crossfire of a bar fight, and I ended up checking her out. So, yeah, kind of my patient.”

“Jonas, that’s a completely different story.” I’m not even sure how he could compare the two.

Jonas stands up and heads back to the fridge. “I’m getting another stale beer. Look, I’m not saying that it’s exactly the same, but you can’t use her being a patient as an excuse to ignore how you feel about her.” The doorbell rings and I’m glad to be saved by the bell. I jump up and make my way to my front door. I collect the pizzas and wings from the delivery boy, then stop in the kitchen to grab some paper plates and napkins, before heading back to the living room. The moment I sit down, Jonas starts again. “Reid come on, just admit that you are interested.”

“I am interested, far too interested, but it doesn’t matter.” I shake my head loading my plate with pizza and wings.

“Why?”

I sigh, but refuse to look at him. “Because eventually, her memories will come back and when they do, she’ll know this has all been a lie. She’ll know we lied to her, but I didn’t expect her memories to take this long to resurface.But then again, with head injuries, there is no certain amount of time because everyone heals at a different rate. I guess I was just hopefully thinking that she’d bounce back quicker. I didn’t think we’d still be hiding the loss from her.” That’s exactly what we’re doing, keeping the truth from her. When I first advised Arden not to tell her, I really thought the memories would resurface within the first forty-eight-hours. That’s about normal, but here we are going on four days later and still, nothing has resurfaced. Even her motor skills are still slow. Maybe the damage done during the accident was more severe then I believed at first, I don’t know. What I do know is that when she finds out the truth, she’s going to be angry, rightfully so, and that anger will be toward me.The one who advised that we keep her in the dark. I like to believe I make a few mistakes when it comes to my medical career, but this could be my biggest mistake yet.

Chapter Nine

Paige

My new roomhas a much more relaxed feel to it. I’m at least comfortable in it. The ICU room felt cold and sterile, and the silence of the unit was almost suffocating. It was hard to be surrounded by the constant silence, when my head is just as silent. At least on this floor, there is noise. You can hear people and children, as well as the other doctors and nurses. It’s a nice change of pace.

I also love that this room has a view of the beach. The beautiful sage green painted on the walls to match the blanket on the bed is calming, and goes nicely with the pristine white that is everywhere else in the room. The TV mounted on the wall is onThe Price is Right. Afterward, I’ll watch whatever soap opera comes on. This has become my new routine and everything about it is comfortable, but yet it seems off. I feel like I should be doing something else.

My motor skills are still really slow, which is frustrating. I actually don’t know which is more frustrating; my lack of motor skills or my missing memories. I sigh into the quiet room. Now, that I’ve been moved to this floor, Arden told me she’d come by after work with Gideon. Until then, it’s just me and my TV.

About an hour later, a face that brings me comfort, as well as some butterflies, appears in the doorway of my room. “Dr. Reid.” I have to admit, I’m shocked to see him. I shouldn’t be because he stops in daily, but I’m still shocked. I’m sure he’s very busy and I’m not a high priority anymore.

“Good morning, Paige.” He comes farther into the room and takes a seat in the sage green chair next to the bed. “How are you feeling today?”

“The same. I’m still empty and slow.” That’s become my answer. I have an empty head and slow body, so it makes sense that it would be my answer.

“Paige.” The way my name sounds coming from his mouth in the raspy voice of his, sends chills dancing over my body. I don’t know what it is about him. I look over at him and his hazel-green eyes hold mine. “It’ll come back. We’ll get there. Look, I have an idea if you feel up to it. We could start a small regimen of physical therapy. It will help build your motor skills back up quickly and well, it just might make you feel better in general.”

I smile at him. “I like that idea.”

He smiles back and stands up. “Let me go grab a walker and I’ll be right back.” I watch as he disappears from my room. He returns a few minutes later with a walker and a small lady following behind him. “Paige, this is Annie, she’s one of the hospital’s physical therapists. She’s going to be working with us today.”

“Okay,” I reply, as I slowly move around to sit up on the side of the bed. Dr. Reid moves to help me along. He holds out his hands and helps me up. Annie moves the walker in front of me.

“We are going to just walk the hallway for now. If you start to feel tired, just let us know,” Dr. Reid tells me.

As I slowly make my way out of the room, I try to remind myself that he keeps saying it’s temporary. This won’t last forever, but what if it does? What if I’m forever stuck in this limbo-land of lost memories and slow movements? I’m so frustrated I could scream, but instead, I bite down, my teeth grinding together, and force myself to do the work.

We’re halfway down the hallway, when the angry tears begin to slip down my face. Annie stops me, which causes Dr. Reid to come around and face me. “Annie, why don’t you go get Paige some water while we take a break?” Annie nods and goes back down the hallway. “The wheelchair is directly behind you,” he tells me, as he goes around and helps to guide me into the seat. Once I’m seated, he kneels in front of me. “Are you in pain?” I shake my head no, but the tears keep coming. “Can you tell me what is making you cry? Are you feeling overwhelmed or frustrated?”

I look up toward the ceiling instead of his eyes. His eyes confuse me sometimes. They are so kind and understanding. The encouragement within those depths is as overwhelming as my current state. I can see how much he believes in me, yet I don’t even know myself. I feel like I’m just constantly letting him down. Him and his relentless encouragement. And not just him, because there’s Arden too, and now this Annie lady. I hate this feeling. Eventually, I feel the warmth of Dr. Reid’s hands taking my own in his. His hands are cold and a bit rough, large with fingers that might be considered too thin or long, but for some reason, they comfort me. I sigh, before finally nodding my head. I’m both overwhelmed and frustrated.

“Paige, it’s normal to feel both of those emotions and so much more. It’s perfectly fine to feel this way.”

“I just feel like I’m constantly letting everyone down. Arden, you and now Annie…” I trail off. However, I’m surprised that I only feel slightly embarrassed by the words that just flowed out of my mouth.

Dr. Reid smiles at me. “First of all, you aren’t letting anyone down. You’re doing amazing, considering what all you went through. Your body is healing exceptionally well. Second of all, if I could, I’d leave Annie out to make you more comfortable, but I can’t. You need an actual physical therapist.”

“I know. I’m just…frustrated.” I hate admitting that out loud to some extent, but then on the other hand, maybe it's best he knows.

“It happens.” He stands up. “I think we’ve done enough for today. Let’s get back to the room.” He moves behind me and pushes me back to my room. Just as we reach it, Annie appears with my water. Once Annie and Dr. Reid have me all set back up in my room, he goes over what physical therapy with Annie will look like over the next few days. Afterward, he expects me to be released from the hospital, but I’ll still have to attend physical therapy for some time.

Once he’s gone, the fear sets in. After I’m released, where will I go? How will I be able to afford wherever I lived before if I can’t even go to work? What was my job before all of this? At some point, I worry myself to sleep.

Chapter Ten

Reid

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