Page 22 of Lost and Found

I allow Reid to usher me back into Scoops. We’re soaking wet, but luckily the employees on shift are understanding and let us use some of their rags to dry off the best we can. Once we're seated again, I look over at Reid. “So, you do know how to loosen up.”

He chuckles. “I may not do it often, but yes.” He stares out the window for a while and studies the strong bone structure of his face. Finally, he turns toward me again. “We’ll wait for the worst of this to pass, then I’ll give you a ride home.”

“Where’s your car?” I ask him.

He motions back toward the street. “Back down that way.”

The idea of this moment, this night, the ending makes me want to cry in some way. I can’t help but want to hold on to this for a little while longer. This sense of peace, of coming home is so overwhelming. I feel like Reid is the missing piece I keep searching for.

****

The car ride to Arden’s house was quiet. Both Reid and I, seemed to be lost in our own thoughts. Something had happened between us tonight. I knew, for me, it was admitting to myself how I had fallen for him. I wasn’t sure what had shifted for him or maybe nothing has and it is just my own self-knowledge that has made it feel like there is some sort of shift between us.

When we pull up to Arden’s house, Reid hops out and walks around to open my door. I step out and he smiles at me. Why does his smile make me feel like a teenage girl again? “Well, I have to admit, I had fun tonight, so thank you.”

I smile back at him. “Good, I’m glad. Having some fun looks good on you,” I tell him, as I nudge his side with my shoulder. “Thank you for the banana split and dancing in the rain. I had fun.”

“I did too,” he admits quietly. “You should go get dried off and get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I feel my eyebrows furrow in question. “At your appointment,” he adds, with that deep rumbling chuckle.

“Oh yeah. I’ll see you then. Good night, Reid.”

He smiles down at me. “Good night, Paige.”

I walk away and I can feel his eyes on me the entire time as I make my way to the door. Once I’ve unlocked the door, I turn around and look back at Reid. He’s still standing outside the car, his face unreadable. I give him a small wave before I head inside. My heart can’t handle anymore Reid right now.

Chapter Twenty

Reid

My night is sleepless as the events with Paige replay in my head over and over, like some kind of broken record. After hours of tossing and turning, I pull myself from my bed, long before the sun rises, and head to my very masculine styled kitchen. I never noticed how very manly this area felt until now. The upper cabinets are white, while the lower are gray along with the gray cement countertops. The backsplash is gray granite with stainless steel appliances, that are hardly ever used aside from the refrigerator and coffee maker. When I had renovated this house, I had sat down and helped design this kitchen. I guess in some way it was supposed to be my dream kitchen, but now when I look at it, I just notice how boring it is. There isn’t a single item that says I live here, nothing to make it my own, no loving touch from someone I care about.

I sigh and head over to my coffee maker to start my first pot of the day. I say first pot because it’s going to be a day of multiple pots, I can already tell. While the coffee maker starts to fill the house with the warm and familiar smell, I head back into my room to find a pair of jogging shorts and my Nikes. As I’m sitting on my bed, I look out the French doors to the beach. I can’t help but wonder if Jonas ever questioned his kitchen like I just did. Is that some sort of sign that she’s the one?

At that thought, I shake my head. ‘Get a grip, Reid. She’s your damn patient, she’s married, and just lost her husband and doesn’t know about it because you thought it best not to tell her the truth right now.’ I hate myself at the moment. I mean, any pain that comes to Paige now from discovering the truth of the accident is on me. It was my advice, my recommendation to keep it from her, so it’s all on me.

I sigh and stand up, my muscles tense with stress. After making my way back into my kitchen I pour me a cup of black coffee. Without even thinking about it, I basically chug it then head out the French doors off the living room. As I make my way down my porch to the beach, I take a deep breath. The smell of saltwater, sand, and storms are heavy in the air. I close my eyes and just breathe for a moment, before I take off in a steady jog down the beach.

Normally, I run with my phone blaring a playlist or radio station for motivation, but today I just can’t handle the thought of music. Music reminds me of Paige and the last thing I need is any more reminders of her. Besides, my ears would never hear the lyrics of melody with my head this loud. It’s funny really. My head is so loud with thoughts I want to scream, I want a moment of silence or peace, but Paige is living in a mind that is thoughtless, void of sound, just silent and I know she wants to scream, I can see it on her face sometimes. I guess we all want what we can’t have. Maybe, that’s what this thing with Paige is; a case of wanting what I can’t have.

The longer I consider that idea, the more absurd it becomes. There’s not an ounce of truth to it. From the moment I saw her that night in the emergency room, I have been drawn to her, in some unexplainable way. Then last night something changed. Paige pushed me outside of my little bubble. My comfort zone long forgotten inside the warmth of Scoops.

The Paige from last night was so different from the one I had become used to. The one last night reminded me of the girl that Arden told me about. Paige’s personality was starting to remerge. It was a step in the process. Some patients got to skip it, but others like Paige, started to remember little things without even realizing it; like her remembering her favorite sandwich at Kazen’s or her talking about the hardships of marriage. Then the personality would start to reappear. Then one day the patient wakes up and the memories are just there. The mind is no longer a room of vast emptiness.

I sigh as I reach the end of the beach. It’s just a matter of time before all of this comes out. Before everything I’ve let myself care about slips through my fingers. I turn around and head back toward my house. Another cup of coffee and a shower are calling my name before I head into the office.

****

This day has been pretty good, considering the amount of patients I’ve seen and things are about to get better with the file I have in my hands. Reynolds, Paige, printed across the folder. I stop outside her door, why? I don’t know. Maybe to ask for extra strength. To be a better person and tell her the truth before she finds out on her own, I don’t know why I stand outside her door, but I do.

Finally, I knock once and head inside. She’s sitting on the examination table with a smile on her face. “Good morning, Paige,” I tell her, in my most professional voice.

“Good morning, Dr. Reid,” she says, with a smile.

I walk past her to the built-in counter and lay her file down on it. I open it up, making myself look busy because the sight of Paige has got me all tangled up. Her floral print maxi skirt and off the shoulder cream lace shirt seems so fitting for the carefree woman that Arden told me about. The one I caught a glimpse of last night. Her hair is down and wavy today and I have to remind myself to resist the urge to run my fingers through it. It looks so soft, so inviting.

I turn back around and ask her, “So, are you experiencing any pain today?”

She shakes her head. “No, not really. Just the few sharp pains every now and then, but you already told me those are perfectly normal for someone with my type of injury.” I nod my head and move toward her, eliminating the distance that I so desperately need to keep. “How are you feeling? I hope you aren’t sick,” she comments.

---