Page 10 of Full Throttled

He shrugs. “Not the only reason.”

“What’s the other reason?” I ask, to avoid talking about Zoey for a few more minutes.

“You know I love that granddaughter of mine, but if I have to sit through that confused Halloween, maybe Christmas movie one more time, I might go crazy,” he tells me, with a large smile that lets me know he doesn’t really mean that, but might just a little.

I laugh. “Yeah, this has been an interesting phase for sure.”

“I’m not sure it’ll be a phase,” he jokes. After a few moments of silence he asks, “So, you want to talk about Zoey?”

I sigh and lean back against the wall while crossing my arms over my chest. “I don’t know what to even say. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the factthat she'sactually back.”

“What brought her back? Her father?”

I shake my head. “No, she didn’t even know about him passing away and let me tell you, she took it so much harder than I could have ever imagined. I didn’t expect her to break like she did.”

“Zoey always did have a way of surprising people,” he admits.

I chuckle. “Yeah, she did.” I start to pace and rub my hands over my face. “Her life must have been a mess since she left.”

“Why do you say that?” My dad’s eyes are on me, intense as ever, but I also know he’ll listen all night if I need to.

“You should see the car she’s in. I noticed it has a Mississippi license plate, but I don't even know how in the hell it managed to get from there to here. It literally looks like it could fall apart at any moment and I just have this feeling,” I tell him, gesturing toward my gut. “That it’s only a sneak peek of what she’s actually been through and I can’t help but feel like that’s partly my fault.”

My dad shakes his head and looks down for a moment. “How could that be your fault, Drake?”

I throw my hands up in the hair before running them through my hair. “Because I always saved her. What if she expected me to come and save her this time, but I didn’t?”

“So, what if she did?”

I growl in frustration at how calm and nonchalant he’s being over all this. “Why are you so calm?”

He smiles. “Because you’re wired up enough for both of us. You have to know that whatever Zoey has been through wasn’t your fault. Yes, you always ran to save herwhenshe came to you. She didn’t come back to you last time to save her, so how were you supposed to do that?”

“You make it sound so simple.” I stare out into the darkening sky, remembering the nights that we used to lay out on the sand at the beach and listen to the waves crash against the shore and stare at the night sky while talking about our hopes and dreams for the future.

“Drake, it isn’t as complicated as you’re making it out to be. You need to stop blaming yourself. I highly doubt Zoey even blames you. She left on her own decision and now she’s back the same way. I know that it’s hard for you not to swoop in and save her, but you don’t just have yourself to consider anymore,” my dad tells me.

I nod my head. I know he’s right. Aubree comes first. She has since the moment I found out I was going to be a father. I can’t let the fact that wildcard Zoey is back. She makes quick and rash decisions and that’s not something I can bring into Aubree’s life. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Any time, Son.”

****

I carry a sleeping Aubree to her room and tuck her into her bed along with her stuffed Jack Skellington. I stop to turn on her purple night light before almost closing her door. Once I’ve showered and I’mback in my own room, I grab my phone and decide to bite the dust. I scroll through until I find Zayde’s number. I dial before I can chicken out. I’m worried that Zayde finding out that Zoey is back might break his good streak with his raging temper. He’s been doing so well for a while now that I don’t want this to throw a wrench in his new and calmer demeanor. The phone rings and rings and just when I think he isn’t going to answer, his slurred voice comes over the line with more background noise than I can handle. “What’s up,man?”

I can tell he’s had more to drink than what he should have. Maybe telling him right now isn’t the best idea, but then again, when is a good time to tell him that Zoey is back?“You’re drunk.”

“Nope just buzzed,” he replies with a laugh. “Don’t judge me.”

I sigh. “I’m not judging you Z, but you know that the bottle isn’t going to help the shit in your head right now. It’s a temporary numbing solution, but guess what it’ll all be there when you sober up, not to mention you’re on your bike and don’t need to be drinking withbeing onthat.”

Zayde sighs heavily and I hear rustling, and then the background noise begins to fade away. “I know you’re right, but it pisses me off.”

“Of course, it does,” I tell him with a chuckle. “Plus, Aubree kind of likes her uncle Zayde all in one piece and you know…alive.”

“You’re such a smartass,” he tells me. Silence fills the line for a minute. “Listen, I’m sorry we haven’t really talked since we left on this ride, but my head has been shit.”

“Hey, don’t worry about that. I only text so that you know I’m still here, even if I’m not there with you.” I hate not being with him right now, but as much as I love the club and my brothers in it, Aburee comes first. She always will.

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