Page 18 of Full Throttled

I sigh and slump back into the wheelchair. I know he’s right if I damage my ankle because I’m stubborn or too prideful to gointothe emergency room. I’ve heard the horror stories of people having to have surgery from stuff like this, and I can’t afford that, not with my type of work and definitely not being a single dad to an energetic three-year-old. “Okay, let’s get this shit over with.”

Thirteen

Zoey

The day keeps playing over in my mind as I lie in Drake’s bed staring at the ceiling. I can’t help but feel those butterflies when I’m around him even though he’s definitely made it more than clear that he’s not interested in me. I can’t turn it off, but I will learn how to deal with it. Another thing nagging at my mind is Drake’s reaction to asking if his parents had another child. I mean, what other conclusion is there to draw from that pic? She had Drake’s eyes and Axell’s hair. I don’t know why it seemed to bother him so much. I sigh and turn over to face the wall when my cell phone begins to ring. I groan figuring it’s Gregg, yet again. Rolling back over, I reach over to the nightstand and pull my phone to my face. An unknown number dances on the screen and the unease settles into the pit of my stomach.

What if it’s Gregg using someone else’s phone so I will answer? What if it’s one of the businesses I applied at today calling for an interview? I sit up and make a quick decision and hope for the best. I desperately need a job, so I literally can’t afford to not answer this phone call just in case it is about one of my applications. I slide my finger across the screen. “Hello,” I say into the phone, as I bring it up to my ear.

“Hello, I’m trying to reach a Zoey Hechler. This is Seth Rogers with Surf’s Up,” a male voice comes through the other end of the line.

I release the breath I had been holding. “This is Zoey.”

“Oh great. I saw your application on my desk when I got back and I was wondering if you’d be interested in a part time sales position. I don’t know how much experience you have with surfing gear but we can teach you,” he says.

“No, that’d be great! I’m completely interested. I actually used to surf. I’m originally from this area, so actuallysurfing was something I did all the time. It’s been a while but I do still remember most of the stuff. I’m sure some of the brands and what not have changed but your store was always the best in town.” I don’t want him to think I’m trying to suck up but Surf’s Up was the store I used for my supplies. He always had the friendliest staff and the biggest selection for a home owned shop. “I know how that probably sounds but I promise I’m not sucking up or anything like that.”

Seth chuckles. “Don’t worry about it. I appreciate that compliment. I take a great amount of pride in my shop so I really do love hearing that. So, I was wondering if you could come in for an interview tomorrow around one?”

“Yes, I’ll be there. Do I just ask for you or is there someone else I’m interviewing with?”

“Nope, just come to the front counter and ask for me. It’s possible that I’ll be there already, but just in case,” he explains.

I nod my head enthusiastically before realizing that he couldn’t see my response. “Yes, sounds great. I’ll be there.”

“Great, see you then, Zoey.” The call disconnects and I fall back onto the mattress and squeal in delight. I’m excited for the first time in what feels like forever. The last time I remember feeling this excited was the night I met Drake. I sigh. It’s funny how everything always comes back to him. I don’t know why I didn’t notice that years ago, back when I was actually part of his life. I guess that’s why they say hindsight is twenty, twenty.

Knocking on my door manages to break through the music currently drowning out my thoughts. I shouldn’t say knocking because I know it’s Zayde, who will be beyond irritated at the moment, and he’s banging with all his strength on the metal door. I walk over and open it. He looks at me and he knows by the look in my eyes that the breakdown is on the horizon or maybe it’s the fact that Third Eye Blind is blaring through my speakers, my go-to band in these moments of freefalling.

Zayde is tall and lean with deep brown eyes that have flecks of golden amber throughout. His dark brown hair is in the current emo style, too long in my opinion. He places his hands on my shoulders to move me slightly out of the doorway. He walks into my room and over to my stereo before turning it off completely. Zayde turns back around and meets my eyes. “Let’s get out of here.”

I shake my head. “Like that would do any good. It’s just a temporary fix to a permanent problem. I need to get out of here. He hates me and it makes me hate myself. My mind is on the verge of the slip Z.” I hated admitting that but it was true. I could feel myself, my emotional state slipping farther and farther into the dark abyss. I was drowning in the self-hate my father created within me.

“Don’t ever say that!” Zayde was fuming and I couldn’t blame him. If the roles were reversed, I’d feel the same way. “We don’t have to stay here too much longer. We just have to stay out of his way until we can get our own place.”

My brother might have a bad reputation and a hot-headed temper, but his heart was pure as it could get. I tilt my head to the side. “Z, you’re the best, you know that, right?”

He stuffshis hands into the front pockets of his jeans shyly and looksdown at the floor before shrugging. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” Hewalkedover to the window of my bedroom and opened it. It leads out to the metal fire escape that we often used to escape the place we call home. I shut my door and lock it before following Zayde.

We had walked to the arcade and hung out for a bit before Zayde’s phone started to blow up. I knew it was our father. I knew there was a bonfire get together at the beach tonight and we were expected to be there. No, scratch that, Zayde was expected to be there. No one cared if I showed up. I nudged Zayde with my shoulder. “We should get going. You need to get to the bonfire. He’s waiting on you.”

Zayde rolls his eyes. “I don’t give a damn. You know I don’t give a shit about that club.”

I nod my head slowly. Zayde always tells me this, but I can’t help but think he just says it for my benefit. I think he really does love the club or at least the idea of it but he knows that it isn’t a place for me. I love him so much more for always looking out for me. For taking care of me when no one else does, but I’m not his responsibility and I worry that in the end he’ll hate me for it. I don’t want him to always put me first. He deserves his own happiness. I sigh because I know what I’m about to do. “I know that you don’t but it’ll probably keep dad off our backs for a bit so let’s go.” I stand up and start to walk away.

“Zo, where are you going?” Zayde asks, as he comes up behind me.

I look over my shoulder and plaster the smile on my face. “To the bonfire.”

By the time we make it to the beach, the sun is already starting to set. Zayde is going on and on about some girl at school that he is wanting to ask out but never will. Even though Zayde has the “cool card” because of the Sons of Sin, he is also a bit of a nerd and shy. I see a boy in a pair of denim jeans, rolled up to his ankles, his bare feet in the sand, walking towards us. His head is down but I can already tell he’s not from around here. His plaid button up shirt is open and a white shirt underneath makes the tan of his skin stand out. His sandy blonde hair is actually a really pretty shade. I’m usually not one to find light colored hair attractive but on him it seems to work. Zayde notices him as we pass, he speaks to him. When the boy replies there’s a twang to his speech, definitely not from around here.

I figured he’d be a good distraction for the night so I drag him along with Zayde and I to the bonfire. However, I quickly learned he would be much more than a distraction. When Drake’s piercing blue eyes bore into mine it was like he could see every crack and nook in my soul, but he never judged. The night drug on and the excitement fluttering in my stomach only grew stronger. When I shivered from the chill of the air coming off the ocean waves, Drake wrapped an arm around my shoulder and rubbed up and down my arm to warm me up. No one had ever done that before. My heart beat erratically and I couldn’t wash away the sense of calm thatcameover me while the excitement still fluttered in my stomach. For the first time in my life, I was looking forward to something, no someone. I was looking forward to Drake, learning about him, being around him and seeing where this could possibly go.

That night when I got back to my room I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling with my mind dreaming up fairy tale like scenarios. All of which Drake starred in. The excitement wouldn’t leave my body even when I tried to sleep.

I remember that excitement lasting for about two weeks until my dad reminded me and told Drake about all of my flaws, and how I would always be a worthless whore just because my mom was one. I remember lying in bed that night and crying myself to sleep because I knew I didn’t live in a fairy tale, and I knew that Drake would never actually be my prince charming. He deserved a princess and that wasn’t me.

I sigh to myself. I didn’t know I could ever feel excitement like this again, but now that I do, I don’t want to let it go. I hear a phone start to ring so I get out of the bed and open the door. I can hear it coming from the main part of the club house. I don’t know if I should answer it or not, and that’s if I can even find it.

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