Page 21 of Full Throttled

She looks over her shoulder and smiles at me. I start to ask my dad what he was going to say, when my mom interrupts me and knocks the wind from me. “It was so great seeing Zoey again last night after all these years.”

My head whips in my mother’s direction. “What? Zoey was here?” She turns around and gives me what I have deemed the ‘mom look’ and nods her head slowly, warning me to choose my words carefully. “Why was she here?”

“She came to drive Wilder back to the clubhouse. Apparently, your phone died while in the emergency room and the only number Wilder had for anyone in town was to the clubhouse landline phone,” my dad explains.

My mouth feels as if I stuffed a bag of cotton balls into my mouth. My tongue is literally stuck to the roof of my mouth, and my heart feels as if it’s about to make a bloody mess all over the kitchen table when it beats right on out of my damn chest. “How long was she here?”

My mom places her hand on my dad’s shoulder. He gives me a sympathetic look that tells me I’m not going to like the answer or whatever my mom is about to tell me. He stands up and places a quick kiss on the top of her head before disappearing down the hallway. My mother levels me with her stare. “Drake, why didn’t you tell Zoey about Aubree?”

I sigh and scrub my hands over my face. “It’s not what you’re thinking.”

“And how do you know what I’m thinking?” she challenges me.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “You think it’s because I’m ashamed or some shit, but that’s not it.”

“Please, enlighten me then.” Her tone is so calm it almost unnerves me more than if she were to yell at me right now.

“I didn’t tell her about Aubree becauseZoey’sjust temporary in my life right now. You know I love Aubree with all my damn heart, and I’m more proud of her than anything else in this world,” I explain.

My mom nods her head. “I do know that, but how do you know that Zoey is just temporary, and what does that have to do with being honest about your situation?”

“Everything! It’s my place to protect that little girl in there and I will go down doing just that. She’s been through enough already. Jules up and left and I’m grateful she left when she did because at least Aubree doesn’t have to miss her as a person, just the idea of a mother. I can’t have her getting attached to Zoey and then she up and disappears. Aubree deserves better.”

The kitchen is silent for a bit. “Drake, I understand what you are saying and as a parent, where you are coming from, but I can honestly say that after seeing Zoey last night I think she’s here to stay. Not to mention, I think she’s been through hell since she left here. She might need you to give her a bit of a break. Is that too much to ask?”

I look away from her because it’s easier to lie to her if I don’t have to look at her. Truth is, I want Zoey to stay. I want her to be a part of my life, our life, more than anyone knows, but I know that’s not safe and I can’t just think about myself. “Mom, you know why I can’t do that.”

“No, I know why you say you can’t do that, but Aubree isn’t supposed to be an excuse to hide behind Drake. I know Zoey hurt you when she left. I know Jules hurt you too, but hiding behind Aubree isn’t fair to either of you.” She reaches across and pats my hand before standing up and making her way out of the kitchen. When she reaches the doorway she turns around. “Cut Zoey some slack.”

I nod my head and watch as she disappears. I look over to Aubree sleeping on the couch and weigh my mom’s words. She could be right, but what if she isn’t and Aubree ends up getting hurt I’d never forgive myself for my own selfishness.

Sixteen

Drake

I finally manage to get home and get Aubree ready for her first dayat her newPre-K. She got a last minute spot in a privately gated school that I’d had her on the waiting list for. I placed her on there when she was two and we finally got accepted. Once I’ve got her into her uniform, we head for the front door. “Daddy?”

I turn around and see a frown on Aubree’s face. “What’s wrong, Love Bug?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t like this outfit.”

I take in her blue and cream colored plaid dress with a cream colored cardigan and a pair of ballet flats on her feet. I think she looks beautiful as always, but clearly she doesn’t feel the same. “Why not?”

“There’s no purple on it,” she complains. The frown turns into a pout. I hobble over to the couch and sit down.

I open my arms. “Come here.” She comes over to me and I pull her into my lap. “Sometimes in life we don’t go get to wear what we want. You can’t always wear purple, even though it’s your favorite color.”

“I don’t want to go to this school.”

I sigh. Maybe, she’s too young for all this. I just want her to have the best chance in life. I feel like this school is that for her, but I also don’t want to make her grow up too fast. “How about we make a deal?” Aubree nods slowly. “You go to this school for the next two weeks. If you still don’t like it, then we can go back to staying with Auntie Hollis.”

“Really?” she asks, her smile brightening up the whole damn room.

I nod. “Yes, but you have to promise to really try at school. You need to give it a fair chance, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy,” she says, as she stretches and places a kiss on my cheek. After that I manage to get Aubree into my car since the truck is just too difficult with my bum ankle. I get her signed in and dropped off at school, which was more of a test that I had anticipated. The lost look on her face nearly had me scooping her up in my arms and marching right back out, but I had to remind myself it’ll be good for her. She just needs time to adjust, or at least I hope that’s right. The feeling of guilt nags at me as I make my way to the car.

Once I’m back behind the wheel, I dial Connor to let him know I won’t be back on the site until next week, but he can reach me by phone if he has any questions or problems. I don’t worry about the job site too much because I know Connor. He puts his all into his work, well really everything he does. I never worry when Connor is around.

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