Page 26 of Full Throttled

Barker gets the rest of the guys to clear out but not before one gets flirty. It had been some time since I was flirted with and it instantly made me uncomfortable. Zayde calls him down, but not before I can appreciate how handsome Cain is. His dirty blonde hair is about chin length and wavy along with a few days’ worth of stubble coating his face. His green eyes shine with mischief. He’s tall, but not overly tall like some of them in the room. I’d guess he was just under six foot with a very good physique.

When I finally look back up and meet Zayde’s eyes, I can’t even decipher the emotion within them. I’ve never seen such a loaded look in his eyes. It scares me because I don’t know how to navigate this situation right now, but something tells me there will be at least one causality and it’ll probably be me.

The moment Zayde can, he starts to spew the same hateful things my father always said. The difference is I had become accustomed to hearing my father call me a slut or some other vulgar terms within that realm of meaning. I had grown a thick skin where he was concerned and eventually, I learned to block it out most of the time. Zayde had always been my comfort in those times until Drake came along, then I had two shoulders to cry on.

If you asked the girl back then if Zayde would ever repeat those things to me, to throw them in my face to make me hurt the way I hurt him, I would have answered quickly, but with the utmost certainty. There was no way Zayde would do that to me. I would have been wrong though. He’s proving me wrong right now and it’s shredding my already tattered heart. My lungs constrict and I’m biting the inside of my cheek so hard I taste blood, just to keep the tears at bay. How is this happening?

I know I deserve it. I know I hurt him tremendously when and how I left, but I didn’t expect him to ever say these things to me. Even though I know he’s only trying to hurt me the same way I did him, I can’t stop the ache in my heart from hearing it.

Drake, my white knight, steps up in front of Zayde, his hand clenched so tightly into fists that his knuckles are turning white. My heart stops beating and drops to my stomach because the fear I feel is real. I don’t know who I’m more afraid for Zayde or Drake. Drake is no longer the nice, slightly scrawny kid he once was. His body is thick and corded with pure muscle but at the same time I know Zayde’s temper. I’ve seen his temper win him fights with guyslargerthan Drake. Thankfully, Barker calms them down which sends the tears cascading down my face. I turn and run back towards my room, praying that no one notices my cowardly exit. I know I should stay and face my music. I deserve everything Zayde said, but I just can’t do it, not right now anyways.

Sometime later after my sobs have subsided, but the hiccups remain, there is a knock on my door. Ishudder, afraidit’s Zayde. I’m not sure how to handle him or this situation, but I know my heart can’t take any more of his cruel verbal lashings right now. Luck is on my side because Drake’s head pops through the crack before opening it all the way and coming inside. He nods at me, “You okay?”

I shrug and plaster on a huge smile, it’s completely fake and knowing Drake he realizes it. “Nothing I haven’t heard before.”

Drake shakes his head, his eyes sad and distant. “Not from him.”

I look away as my eyes start to water again. “Yeah, that was different.”

“It was worse.” I just nod my head in agreement with him. I can’t find the words to say in this moment. “Come on.”

I look up at Drake in confusion. “What?”

“I need to head back across town to pick up Aubree from preschool. We’ll grab lunch afterwards.”

I shake my head. “I’m okay.”

“Maybe, but I’m not. I’m not leaving you here with Zayde right now. I’m not sure how far off the rails he is. Give Barker some time to calm him down,” Drake tells me.

“I can handle Zayde.”

“Look if something happened to you while I was gone, I’d never forgive myself.”

I laugh. “Nothing is going to happen to me.”

Drake shakes his head. “You haven’t forgotten how brutal his temper can be, have you?”

“No, I haven’t forgotten.” And it’s the truth. I always worried about his temper.

“Then just come with me.”

I want to agree, but I just barely found out that Drake has a daughter. I don’t even know what his situation is with her mother and I don’t want to be caught in the middle of some baby mama drama. I don’t need that right now. I won’t tell him that, but I’ll make up an excuse to get out of that despite my heart wanting to go wherever he goes. “I’m okay really. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m pretty sure the rest of the guys can handle Zayde.”

“No one can handle Zayde, Zo. What if he hits you?”

His question is valid, but not something I fear. Zayde has never laid ahand on a female before plus it wouldn’t be new to me.I shrug and before I can think about my answer I just speak, “It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been hit.”

“What?” Drake practically growls out.

I shake my head realizing my mistake. “It’s been a long six years since I left. Let’s just leave it at that.”

Drake stands there breathing like a bulldog stuck in hundred-degree weather. “Yeah, it has been, but you’re still coming with me.”

“I can take care of myself,” I tell him defiantly.

He chuckles. “I know that, Zo.”

“Won’t Aubree’s mother be upset if I go with you to pick her up?” I ask.

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