Page 31 of Full Throttled

“Why?” I laugh trying to figure out why she would want this small little monkey.

She shrugs and looks away. “The eyes remind me of yours.”

My heart leaped and for a moment I thought I might actually get the courage to kiss this girl that I’m so crazy over, but just like that, the moment is gone. Gregg’s voice breaks through our moment and shatters it like glass on a mirror.

Seeing that monkey brings up so many mixed emotions. So many regrets that I’ve carried with me. I should have told her back then how much she meant to me. I should have made some sort of move or something…anything but instead I let myself sit comfortably in the friend zone throwing a pity party for myself.

Zoey takes a seat in one of the folding chairs that is leaning against the wall. “So, Zayde knows some of this, but not all of it. Drake you don’t really know any of it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell either of you the whole story back then but at the time leaving seemed like the only choice I had. I’d do anything to protect the two of you. The two of you were the only people I had in my life, so protecting you, no matter what it cost me, was the only thing that mattered.”

Zoey’s words make my skin crawl. I don’t know what she’s about to reveal, but I already know that whatever it is, I’m not going to like it. In fact, I’m going to hate it. I glance at Zayde and I can tell that he knows something that I clearly don’t.

“You guys remember Shasta, right? She was a sinner girl, had a major thing for Drake?” Zayde and I both nod our heads in agreement. “Okay, so the night before I left town Shasta showed up banging on my bedroom window.” Zoey points to the window that leads out to the metal fire escape. “I let her in. She was so upset and I wasn’t sure what was going on. I finally got her to calm down enough for me to understand at least part of what she was trying to tell me. She mentioned Buzz and instantly I was on high alert. I never liked him. He always made me uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, because he watched you like a hawk. He seriously looked at you like you were a damn piece of meat and dad just let him!” Zayde fumes next to me. I agree with Zayde, though. It was a hard thing to watch Buzz stalk after Zoey like she was prey for his taking. I had often wondered if he had ever done anything to her.

“Well, what he did to Shasta was worse. Apparently, he had been bugging her about coming to some place down by the docks. He claimed it was his special place, but you guys know I only had one rule for my sinner girls. Everything stayed on clubhouse grounds unless you were an official old lady you didn’t step out with one of the brothers. Shasta listened, but Buzz didn’t. He cornered her one night getting off from work. She was alone, it was late, and dark, she was scared so she agreed to go with him. He took her to this so-called special place and gave her a drink, but after that she didn’t remember much but it didn’t takea lotto put it together. The bruises on her inner thighs were enough to confirm my fears. The next day, I called the Sinner girls up and ended the whole thing. Then I sat out to find Buzz.”

I hold up my hands to stop Zoey from talking. “Wait, you know what Buzz had more than likely done to Shasta and then went looking for him…by yourself?” My anger flares and my voice raises. The thought of Zoey putting herself in that kind of possible danger or maybe something did happen. If it gets worse than what I’ve already heard, then I don’t know if I can stay and listen.

Zoey looks away and nods her head. “Yes, I know it wasn’t the best idea, but I did it. I thought I could handle Buzz. However, what I found going on down at the docks was not anything I was prepared to see, let alone handle.” She shudders and takes a deep breath. “The abandoned building had definitely seen better days and it smelled like fish and drugs. It was revolting. Once I walked inside, I wanted nothing more than to turn around and run the opposite direction but I also knew I needed to handle it for Shasta’s sake at least. The place was a wreck. One side of the building was basically a drug factory. I mean, it looked like something out of a movie. Long tables with scales, bags, and all sorts of things strewn about. The other side had some makeshift curtains hanging up to give the illusion of privacy. Behind the curtains just appeared to be a dirty, old bed. Buzz came up behind me. I didn’t hear him because my blood was pounding in my ears. Long story short, he was pimping out some of my Sinner girls and dealing drugs under my father’s nose or so I assumed anyways. I don’t know why I even gave that man the benefit of the doubt. I threatened to tell my dad and Buzz laughed in my face. He made me sit down and about half an hour later, my dad walked through the doors. That sinister smile on his face and his eyes full of hate as they landed on me. Our dad knew everything going on, but he knew some of the other members would never agree, so Buzz and himhad found the abandoned building and started their side businesses there.”

My stomach rolled with nausea. This entire thing made me sick. When Zayde and Barker took over the club, we all knew some questionable stuff was going down with Buzz and his loyal followers, but we had no idea it was this bad. “Is that why you left? You knew too much?”

Zoey shakes her head. “I left because I had no choice. I wouldn’t agree to their terms and I didn’t want to put the two of you in danger.”

“Wait, their terms?” I feared I already knew what their terms would have meant for Zoey, but for some reason, I haveto hear it from her to let it actually sink in.

Zoey’s eyes shine with moisture and I notice that she’s biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. “They wanted me to bring all of the sinner girls into the pimping ring they had going on, myself included.”

I jump up from my spot on the bed, my blood boiling with an anger I’ve never before felt in my life, with the exception of when I think about Jules how she abandoned Aubree. The pain in my ankle is forgotten. “That’s why you left? Why didn’t you tell us?”

Zoey sighs. “I did. I told Zayde, but my father and Buzz made it very clear. If I caused a ruckus or got Zayde to leave the club, the repercussions would be death.”

“We wouldn’t have let them hurt you, Zoey. Surely, you know that.” She should have known that then and even now. I would go to the ends of the earth to protect those I care about and regardless of Zoey’s absence over the years I’d still protect her. I still care…maybe even more than I should.

Zoey shakes her head before a sarcastic laugh comes from her. “Not my death, Drake. That wouldn’t have sent me running, butathreatagainstthe only two people I had in this world, would.” Zoey gives me a pointed look and I glance at Zayde, as what she’s saying finally sets in. It was Zayde and I they threatened, not her.

I turn to face Zayde who is about to get the wrath of my anger. “You knew? That’s why you never let me move from prospect to full brother, until your dad was ready to step down and Barker could clean house. That’s why? Isn’t it?”

Zayde sighs. “I didn’t know for sure. I mean, she told me about the activities that our dad and Buzz were involved in. Zoey told me they threatened her life and I let it slide, but after she left I started to think that maybe there was more to it. I started to piece the shit together.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” I bellow at him.

Zayde jumps up and Zoey hollers for us to stop, but she isn’t really heard. “No because I was so damn angry with myself that I couldn’t tell anyone else about what had happened!”

I push Zayde as my anger hits an all-time high. Zayde lied to me for years. He knew howmessedup I was that Zoey disappeared without an explanation, and all along he had the damn answer. Zayde gets right back in my face but before either of us can say or do another thing Zoey steps between us. “Stop it! Right now! This is ridiculous and the two of you wonder why I didn’t tell you then. Fighting each other over something that’s already done isn’t going to change anything. It’s useless.”

I grab my crutches and maneuver around Zayde and Zoey and head out the door. I hear Zoey call my name, but I don’t look back. I need to get out of here, away from both of them and clear my damn head. Ransom must notice my change in demeanor, because he grabs Aubree and helps me get her into the car. I try not to let my mood show while Aubree is dancing around in her toddler seat and singing along. In her presence, it’s hard to stay upset because she’s such a joy, but the nagging in the back of my mind won’t go away.

Twenty-Five

Zoey

My heart is pounding like a freight train inside my chest as I watch Drake leave. I call after him and I’m not even rewarded with a look over the shoulder. It kills me, but I also know he’ll need time to cool down. Plus, I need to deal with Zayde now. I turn around and face him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I should have, but I knew that neither of you would take the threats seriously, but I didn’t doubt what Buzz or our father would do if we made a big deal about the situation.”

Zayde nods. “You’re not wrong, but I still hate that I didn’t know. I didn’t see any of it coming. Do you understand how badly it hurt when Drake came rushing over here to see if you were here? To find that you were gone with nothing, not even a note left behind. We made a pact and for years we lived and breathed by the pact. We had each other’s backs no matter what. We stood side by side against the world, then one day you were just gone and I didn’t even know why. It wasn’t until my anger finally started to calm down that I started to piece the stuff together but that was at least a year. That first year I lived in denial and I think Drake did too, part of the time anyways. You still texted, so I was still hopeful that someday you’d show back up, but then your texts became less frequent until they stopped altogether and you changed your number. You changed your damn number, Zoey. Do you have any idea what that did to me? How badly that hurt? I felt so alone that I didn’t even know what to do. “

Tears slip down my face. I bite back the sob that my body wants to release from the aching in my heart and soul. I don’t want to interrupt Zayde. He’s never been this emotionally open and I won’t be selfish like that again. Looking back, I know the mistakes I made, the things I took for granted, but I won’t do that again. So, I stand there silently even though every piece of my soul is being shredded to listen to Zayde tell me how he felt back then without holding back.

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