Page 48 of Full Throttled

I sigh. “Fine, but be careful okay?”

“Of course,” she tells me, before turning around and heading out of Aubree’s room. In the living room, I head toward the bags as Zoey grabs the truck keys and heads downstairs. I get lost in sorting Aubree’s things and before I know it I look down at the phone to check the time and see it’s been almost ten minutes since Zoey left out. Worry churns in my stomach and coils around my muscles. I get up and make my way out the front door, but stop the instant I look over the balcony that gives you sight of the parking lot. Zoey is standing there with a bewildered look on her face, frozen, just like I am right now. I don’t need the person to turn around to know exactly who it is.

Thirty-Nine

Zoey

I shake my head at Drake’s unnecessary worry as I head downstairs to his truck. If he had any idea the life I’ve lived since I left Los Angeles, well I’m not sure if he’d worry less but it would definitely give him a reason to worry less. My heart beats rapidly in the confines of my chest and I can’t help but feel the blush heat my skin when I think about Drake and how lucky I have been these past few months. I wish I would have given us a chance when we first met.

I unlock the truck and open the back door, and sure enough, I see Jack’s head peeking out from under the seat. I stretch until I manage to grab onto him. “Gotcha!” I tell the stuffed toy, as I pull him up. I smile to myself and turn around but slam into a body causing me to stumble back against the truck. As my eyes travel up the body, I take in the too skinny stature and possible track scars covering the inside of the left arm. The once beautiful face is scarred from where scabs have been. The eyes are sunk in, creating a hollow look. I swallow back the bile that rises in my throat at the sight of this person. I wouldn’t know who she was except the hair is a dead giveaway. Her daughter has the same hair. Aubree is all Jules except for her eyes. I can almost picture what Jules used to look like, the much better version of what is in front of me now.

Jules cocks her head to the side as unease settles into my body. Her eyes, which almost have a feral look to them mixed with the wild head of curls, makes me take another step back. “Well, well, well, I should have figured he’d get you to replace me.”

“I’m sorry?” I question, my voice coming out weak. I hate that it sounds so weakat thismoment.

Jules scoffs and rolls her eyes. “You were the ghost that I couldn’t compete with. It doesn’t matter anyways though, because once I had that kid, I knew I’d never be what he wanted.”

“Did we know each other?” I ask, trying to place a younger, healthier version of Jules in my mind, but I come up short.

Jules shakes her head. “You don’t know me, but I feel like I know you. I was your replacement, but I was never good enough.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” I tell her, with a slight shake of my head.

Jules bites down on her chapped bottom lip. “You would think, wouldn’t you? It’s true what they say though, you never forget your first love. You were Drake’s first love so he never really let you go. He was angry and hurt, but you always held a piece of his heart. He was the son of a bitch who promised me everything, then ran away.”

My anger flares. I don’t know everything that happened between Drake and Jules during the course of their relationship. Every story does have two sides and I’m sure that Drake is not fully innocent but I’ll be damned if she is going to stand there and tell me that Drake ran away. “Drake ran away?” I ask, my voice rising as my sarcasm comes blaring out. “You’ve got a lot of nerve even showing up here, but to show up here and bad mouth Drake to me…wow, you really are something. Is it possible that you hit the pipe one too many times since youabandonedyour daughter?”

Jules takes a step toward me, her sky-high heels making her tower over me, but I refuse to let her intimidate me. I stand my ground and meet her glare with one of my own. “You think you’re so much better than me, but you have no idea what it’s like to have a child. You think because you’re playing house with my husband and daughter that you understand, but you don’t. I wasn’t cut out to be a parent. I didn’t want to have a baby. I just wanted Drake, but he wanted more. He wasn’t satisfied with just me.”

Jules continues on her rant, but it’s all just white noise to me as my heart pounds inside my body.Husband?Did she just say husband? I feel like I can’t breathe. There’s no way she’s right, because Drake would have told me that. He would have told me if he was married, right? She’s probably just strung out right now.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Drake’s voice startles me, causing me to jump and pull me from my thoughts. My eyes swing over to his and I’m mentally begging him to look at me and just tell me it’s not true. It can’t be, but he’s so angry. His gaze never leaves Jules. Drake closes the distance between us and steps between Jules and me. His back is to me and I can see just how tense his muscles are. I ache to reach out and massage away the tension but then the word, husband, flies back into my mind and I take another retreating step back. “Zo, why don’t you go back upstairs? If she wakes up, she’ll want Jack.”

I nod, but realize he can’t see me, not that it matters right now. I step away from them, my heart heavy. With each step I take away from Drake, it feels as if I’m walking away, saying goodbye. If what Jules said is correct, then he made me exactly what my father used to say about me and I don’t know if I can forgive him for that. My heart is shattered by the time I reach his front door. I look back once more and see that Drake is in Jules’ face. I can’t say I blame him, but I also can’t help but wonder why he would have kept something like this from me.

I go inside and place Jack with Aubree then I walk back to the living room where I pace the floor like a madwoman, waiting for Drake because I need some answers. However, he doesn’t come back in and finally I give up and walk back outside to find Drake sitting at the top of the stairs with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. I’m so conflicted. I want to comfort him and confront him at the same time. I just don’t know which side will win.

Forty

Drake

I stand above looking down at my past meeting my present and I know I need to go deal with this. I need to get down there and get Zoey away from Jules before she scares her off, but my anger is so strong. I’m afraid to get too close but this isn’t Zoey’s problem to deal with, its mine. Finally, I convince myself to make the walk. When I reach them I can’t bring myself to look into Zoey’s eyes. I want to. I want to so damn bad, but I know if Jules finds out what Zoey means to me, she will attack her. Jules can be relentless and I don’t want Zoey in the middle of this. I can’t show how much I care about Zoey in front of Jules. So, I keep my eyes trained on Jules.

Zoey’s presence is all I feel, but not looking at her is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I can feel that internal pull towards her. I can feel her eyes on me, but I have to stay strong. Jules on the other hand is nothing but a shell of the woman I fell in love with. Zoey hadn’t looked her best either when she first got back, but it was mostly from being too skinny from not having enough food to eat and her clothes not being in the greatest shape. Hers was from financial strain, but Jules doesn’t have that issue. Her parents would have given her anything and it looks as if she’s chosen to smoke it up. It’s a shame because she was smart and beautiful. She had so much she could have done with herself and life, but by the looks of it now…well I don’t see that happening.

Once Zoey is gone, I speak again. “I’m only going to ask one more time before I lose my damn patience and call the cops, and tell them I have a damn junkie hanging out in the parking lot soliciting the renters, what in the hell are you doing here?”

“You could at least act like you’re happy to see me,” Jules replies, with a pout and crosses her arms over her chest which has shrunk at least two sizes.

“Why would I do that? To make you feel better? To play into this whole game of yours? What good would lying to you do? Please, explain that to me because I’m just not seeing it,” I tell her.

“Would you believe me if I told you I wanted to see you?”

I shake my head in disgust. “Nope, not for one damn minute. Try again.”

Jules sighs. “You were always so hard on me.” She literally sticks out her bottom lip in the most dramatic pout I’ve seen on an adult. She looks just like our almost four-year-old daughter upstairs that she has yet to ask about or mention.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize asking you to hold up your end of the deal was asking too much of you. I’ll try to keep that in mind.” I roll my eyes.

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