Page 55 of Full Throttled

Isit next to Drake in the silence of the truck. Aubree fell asleep about an hour ago while waiting for her and I to be released from the hospital. The scene from today lurks in the back of my mind. After the cops showed up so much happened so fast that I think I’m just barely getting the opportunity to process it. The police took a statement from me before insisting I take the ambulance along with Aubree to the hospital to be examined. Drake got to ride with us since Aubree was a minor.

After a few hours at the emergency room they told me what I had already figured, I had a severe concussion and I’d have a pretty nasty bruise over the next week. Other than that I was fine and so was Aubree, thankfully. However, the guilt I feel is overwhelming. I feel like I’m drowning.

As we walked out into the waiting room of the emergency room, I was overwhelmed by the amount of people there. The entire James family and all of the brothers from Sons of Sin as well as Arbor were waiting for us. I felt so loved and for a moment the guilt I felt faded away but then I looked over and saw Sadie hugging Drake and Aubree with tears in her eyes and it all came crashing back down on me. Originally, I was going to ride back to the clubhouse with Zayde but Drake refused to let me so I just told Zayde that I’d let him know when I was ready for him to come pick me up.

The apartments come into view and my eyes begin to burn. I’ve already made my decision but now that I’m here, about to follow through, my emotions are smothering me. Drake parks the truck before climbing out and gathering Aubree into his arms. I follow behind him as we make our way to his apartment. He shuts and locks the front door before looking over at me. “I’m going to change her and put her to bed then I’ll be right back in here.”

I just nod because I don’t trust my voice. Once Drake and Aubree have disappeared into her room, I take a moment to memorize every last detail of this apartment. The stack of Alice in Wonderland DVD’s sitting by the TV catches my eye. I make my way over to them and pick them up. The tears slip down my face before I even realize it.

“Don’t do this,” Drake pleads from behind me.

I jump at the sound of his voice. I hadn’t heard him approach. I wipe at my face and turn around to face him. “Don’t do what?”

“Shut me out, run away, whatever it is you’re about to do. That you’ve been doing since we got to the emergency room.” His eyes plead with me and it shatters my heart into a million shards that will never be able to be put back together.

I shake my head and look away. “I have to. Don’t you get it? Today happened because of me. So many things could have gone wrong today. So many other things could have happened. This ending we were blessed to get this time was luck.”

Drake shakes his head and closes the distance between us. “No, it wasn’t luck. It was you and your gut instincts and how smart you were that got us this ending. You saved my daughter.”

“I got your daughter kidnapped!” The tears cascade down my face but I don’t even attempt to stop them.

Drake grabs my upper arms, forcing me to face him. I can’t run away now. “No, you didn’t. You can say that but it’s not true. Buzz has had an issue with all of us at some point but this wasn’t just on you.”

“But Gregg is,” I admit quietly. We both know that’s true.

Drake sighs. “I can’t fight for you. I can’t save you if you won’t let me Zo.”

I shake my head and look away. “You don’t need to fight for me. You don’t need to save me. You have Aubree and that’s who you should be doing those things for. I’m only making things harder for you Drake.”

He steps forward and cradles my face in his hands. “You’re only making them harder by trying to leave right now. Don’t you get it? You did more for my daughter today than her mother has ever done. You saved her and yourself. You’re so strong. You don’t even need me to save you but you think that you do.”

“Drake…” His name comes out in a straggled whisper.

“No, Zo. Do you have any idea how scared I was today when I got to the mall? I wasn’t just scared for Aubree but I was scared for you too. Once I found out you were missing. I don’t know, I just lost it. I couldn't lose you both. Darlin’ I love you so damn much. You and Aubree are my entire world, my entire heart and if you leave now, I’ll only be half the man I’m meant to be because you’ll be taking the other half with you.” Drake holds my eyes with his own.

My bottom lip quivers. The war within myself wages on for much longer than it seems. Just as about to decide not only my fate but Drake and Aubree’s too, Drake crashes his lips down on mine. The warmth and strength I find from them chases away my demons. It brings the light back into the cracks of my darkened soul. My insecurities are chased back into their corners. His tongue dances along my lips asking for more and I give it over. I give everything to him because it’s what I should have done a long time ago. I pull back just enough to whisper, “I love you.”

Epilogue

4 Months Later

Drake

The pancakes are made and the birthday banner and streamers are hung. Now, I just need to wake up my two sleeping girls. I sneak into Aubree’s room and find her sound asleep with Jack on one side and Cheshire, our newest feline addition on the other. Aubree begged for a cat for a couple of months and finally on her fourth birthday I caved. Aubree, Zoey and I made our way to the local pet shelter and she picked the ugliest orange cat I had ever seen. She loved him though and that’s all that mattered. Two months later and I can’t imagine our little family without him.

On that same day I also asked Zoey to move in with us. To some it might have seemed fast but to me it had been years in the making. Plus, seeing that she was willing to sacrifice herself for my daughter pretty much let me know that she was the right person for me. I also hated the idea of her living at the clubhouse. I mean the guys are great but it’s still not a place for a woman to have to live the majority of the time. Luckily, she agreed.

Last month, my divorce became final with Jules signing over her parental rights to Aubree. It hurt more than I thought it would to see her signature on the paper deeming her no longer a parent to Aubree. However, I knew it was for the best. I just can’t imagine how she can care so little for Aubree. Buzz and Gregg were also sentenced last month. Apparently, both had multiple warrants out for their arrests so we won’t be hearing from them any time soon.

Now, that all of that is behind us I feel like we might be able to get on with our lives. I sit on the side of Aubree’s bed and run a hand through her curls. She rolls over and squints at me. “Daddy?”

“Yeah, love bug. Do you remember what today is?” I ask her.

Her eyes go wide with recognition and she sits up, waking up Cheshire in the process. “Zoey’s birthday!”

I nod. “Breakfast is already made but do you want to help me wake her up?”

Aubree is out of bed in record time, racing down the hallway and rushing into our bedroom. Aubree jumps on the bed and crawls over to Zoey. Aubree starts singing happy birthday to Zoey, very loudly and off key. Zoey wakes up with a smile on her face and I swear I turn into a puddle in the doorway of our bedroom. These two are everything I need in the world. Aubree drags Zoey from bed and to the breakfast nook where the table is set.

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