Page 7 of Full Throttled

Drake shakes his head quickly. “No, no,” he says in a soothing tone, more than likely he could see the breakdown I’m on the verge of having. His hands grab mine. “It’s not Zayde. It’s your dad.” I feel my eyebrows pull together. “He passed away. That’s why everyone is on the ride.”

“When?” I ask, but I’m surprised he even heard me because my voice is nothing but a hoarse whisper.

I watch Drake’s Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallows. “About a month ago, he had been sick for a bit and it finally just got him.”

I’m not sure what I expected to feel when my father passed away. I mean, obviously we had never been close, most days I was certain he despised me, but he was still my father and a part of me still loved him, still longed for his love and acceptance and now…now that chance was gone. I’d never get the chance to fix our relationship. I don’t think I ever considered how I’d feel once he was gone, but I wouldn’t have guessed it would be this tidal wave of emotions that is waging inside of me right now. My forehead falls forward to rest on Drake’s broad chest just as a sob breaks free from my mouth. Instantly, Drake has his arms around me and in the middle of my chaotic, destructive breakdown I find a sense of calm that only his arms can deliver.

Six

Drake

I didn’t expect Zoey to breakdown like this. To be honest, I expected her to brushoff herfather’s death for two reasons:The first being that Zoey isn’t one to show her true emotions very often. She was always so good at hiding what she was really thinking or feeling, so you never really knew unless you knew how to read her eyes. The second being, I expected her to brush off her father’s death because of how their relationship hadbeen. I didn’t expect her to be sobbing into my chest right now.

Selfishly, I have to admit that having her in my arms again after so long is like taking the first deep breath after beingunderwatertoo long. I can’t even begin to count how many times I wondered where she was, what she was up to, or if I’d ever see her again over the years. For a few years, she didn’t cross my mind as often. I had Jules, so it was easy to let Zoey slip from my mind, but after Jules left and Aburee and I settled into a routine, Zoey started to work her way back into mythoughts. Usually, at night while I lie awake in my bed wondering how different my life could have been, even though I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I wrap my arms around Zoey and cringe when I feel how tiny she has become. Her bones are clearly protruding in certain areas.She seems so fragile right now and I hate that. I don’t know what Gregg, if she’s even still with him, put her through since I’ve last seen her, but it’s been too much I can tell you that.

The door opens and I look over to see Wilder coming in. His eyes widen when he sees Zoey and her shaking shoulders. Wilder is smart enough, though. He walks over and lays the food on the bar before disappearing down the hallway to one of the rooms. I don’t know how long I hold Zoey like this, but it brings back a flood of memories for me. The first time was when this ridiculous bad ass wannabe broke her heart.

Zayde and I were sitting outside the clubhouse just like we did most weekend nights. The party was in full swing around us. The brothers of the club and the sinner girls were all drinking and dancing. Zayde and I sat on the cement steps outside of the clubhouse and took in the scene. It isn’t exactly what I’d call my scene, but if Zayde and Zoey were around, then so was I. I sipped on my water as Zayde tried to flirt with some girl. Eventually, he was shot down, just like every other night. I chuckle and he flips me off.

Zoey was out with some new guy. I didn’t bother to learn his name because I knew he wouldn’t be around long, plus he was a grade A douchebag. I could tell from the moment I saw him. He had Zoey’s attention, yet he was eyeing up everything with two legs around him. He was insane, in my opinion. I knew it was only a matter of time before he broke Zoey’s heart and I’d behere topick up the pieces.

The instant she walked into the parking lot I felt it, like a moth to a flame. I was drawn to her and I couldn’t break that pull, not that I wanted to. I wanted to be the guy she looked at with wide eyes and a bright smile full of love. I wanted to be the guy that got to hold her hand and stand proudly beside her. I wanted to be the guy to take her out on dates. Instead, I was in the friend zone. Damned to pick up her broken pieces and put them back together each time another loser hurt her. I wish I could make her see me differently, but for now, I’ll be the one that saves her when she needs it.

Just like now; she’s walking with her arms wrapped around her stomach, as if that can keep her together, her head down. Zayde hasn’t spotted her yet, since he’s trying to flirt with another girl. I jump up from my spot and make my way over to her. As I get closer, I can hear her sniffle. I grab her shoulders and she flinches. When she looks up, her mascara is running down her face and her lip has a small cut. My anger flares. “What the hell happened?” I ask, dropping my hands to my side as they ball into fists.

She shakes her head. “Nothing. I’m fine.” She’s lying even without the evidence.I know it because she won’t look me in the eye.

“Zoey don’t lie to me,” I tell her. My voice is eerily calm, nothing compared to how I feel on the inside right now.

She shrugs to play off how hurt she really is. I watch as her perfected façade comes into place. “I’m not. I’m fine,it’s not a big deal.” She steps around me and high tails it to the front door. Zayde catches her just before she makes it inside. I jog over in time to Zayde, whose temper has always been hot, throwing his hands up in the air. I can see the red tint to his skin. He’s going to blow a gasket.

“This shit right here is why you need to stop going out with douchebags like him! When are you going to learn?”Zaydehollers, frustration and his need to protect winning out over his common sense.

Zoey’s back goes rim rod straight and her eyes narrow. “Why don’t you just mind your own damn business? For once just stay out of my life! I can take care of myself.”

Zayde scoffs. “Clearly.” His tone drips in sarcasm and before anyone can react Zoey strikes, slapping Zayde across the cheek. No one even notices because of the party going on around them but I see it and I know that Zoey is going to spiral now. Shock is registered on Zayde’s face.

Zoey covers her face with her hands and shakes her head. I know she’s already regretting her actions. She turns and runs inside. “Zayde,” I call to him.

“You go make sure she’s okay. You can reach her better than anyone and you can handle her. I’m going to go kill someone.” Zayde turns around and starts to stalk off.

“Zayde!” He turns around. “At least take someone with you, please. I mean I know you can hold your own, but just to be safe.”

“Fine. Just make sure she’s okay,” he tells me. I nod in response and head inside. I head through the main part of the clubhouse and to the hallway that has multiple doors. Behind each door is a bedroom. They’ve all been converted. There’s more than enough for each brother of the club and then some. At the very end of the hallway is a staircase. On the first break is Zayde’s room and at the top is Zoey’s. The clubhouse is literally their home. I know that their dad loves this club, but I also feel like they deserve an actual home. I don’t blame her for wanting to spend so much time at my house. I can already hear the music coming from behind her closed door. I knock, but I already know she won’t hear me.

I push open the door and I find her pacing around the room, running her hand through her hair. Her face is red and tearstained, her eyes bloodshot and her breathing is erratic. I close the door and step into her path. She looks up and I see it. She crumbles. The façade falls away and Zoey is vulnerable and open. She throws herself into my chest andIwrapmy arms around her as tightly as I can as I lower us to sit on the floor. She sobs and sobs until I’m certain that no human can possibly cry this much. Finally, the sobs diminish into hiccups and then she’s quiet, too quiet. When I look down she’s sound asleep.

I pick her up as carefully as I can and carry her to the bed. I lay her down and pull her shoes off. I walk over to the stereo system and turn it off. “You’re always saving me,” she mumbles.

I walk over and press a kiss to her temple. “As long as you let me, I will.”

As I descend the stairs, I run into Zayde. His hands are smeared with blood and his cheek hasa bruise forming, but overall he looks pretty good. We nod at one another to let the other know that things are handled.

Sitting here now with Zoey in my arms again, I can’t help but feel like the past is repeating itself in some way. I place a gentle kisson thetop of her head. “You should eat something.”

“I’m not hungry,” she mumbles, her hot breath cutting through the fabric of my shirt.

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