Page 17 of Rivals

Seventeen

Rathe

Wow, that’s all I can think right now. Sutton could have kicked her leg out and kicked me where the sun doesn’t shine, and it would have hurt less than her parting words. I wasn’t expecting her to lash out at me. I’m not saying I didn’t deserve it because, let’s face it, I’ve been nothing but an ass to her since the moment I met her, but I didn’t expect it. I’m at a loss of what to do right now. I’ve never wanted someone so badly in my life but at the same time I want her out of my life. I want to be the one on the track winning races for my team. She’s that constant reminder of last season and the fact of how miserably I failed. Sutton is the face that will haunt my dreams because she’s going to take them from me. I scrub a hand down my face. Slipping on my sunglasses I turn around and head back inside.

The moment I enter I hear Ryann laughing. I find her with Sutton and Evanna. That shouldn’t upset me, but it does. My jaw clenches and I bark out, “Come on Ryann. We’re leaving!”

“Dude, what stick got up your ass?” Ryann asks, as she stands up.

I walk past her without another word. She’ll either follow or she won’t. I don’t have to worry about her because Maxton is here somewhere and if Ryann doesn’t come with me, Max will make sure she gets home. However, I hear her footsteps behind me. I unlock the Range Rover and climb inside. Ryann does the same. She sits there with her arms crossed over her chest and anger simmering in her features. “Buckle up so we can go.”

“I was having a conversation in case you failed to notice that.”

I nod my head slowly. “Then by all means go finish it. Max can give you a ride home. Either way I’m leaving now.”

“What the hell is wrong with you Rathe? I try to understand where you’re coming from, what you’re going through. Obviously, I can’t. I never understood your need to race to begin with. I’ve never had to almost lose my life doing something I loved. I’ve never had to witness death like you did on the track that day…”

“Ryann…” I say as a warning.

She shakes her head. “No, you need to hear this. No one wants to tell you. They want to give you time to mourn or move past it, but you aren’t doing that. You’re stuck in it. You relive it every day because you won’t let it go.”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” I bite out, barely able to control my temper.

Ryann scoffs. “Yes, I do. Max, our parents and I all know. Tucker knows. The team knows Rathe. You haven’t won a race since the wreck. Every time you back off and then blame it on the car, but it’s not your car, it’s you. Now, you’re mad because Sutton has showed up and she's great at what she does. Just as good as you, but instead of being happy for her and embracing some friendly competition and the fact that she could help the team, you’re rude to her. You’re downright nasty to her. You’ve made all these assumptions about her, but I’m pretty damn sure you’re wrong.”

“How would you know what I think about her?”

“I heard from Maxton what you’ve been saying about her. I don’t think she’s some rich bitch like you’re assuming she is. You might want to actually take the time and get to know her.”

“Are you done?” I ask her. I don’t want to listen to my sister lecture me. I’m not in the mood. I find it really annoying and it’s not even because of the lecture. It’s just because she’s right and I don’t want to admit it out loud.

“No, not even close. I’ll keep lecturing you until you get it through that stubborn head of yours. Look I’m sure she has a lot of assumptions about you too that are wrong, but she hasn’t really got to meet you. You’ve got this guard up with her and it’s ridiculous,” Ryann goes on. “She isn’t here to hurt you or ruin your career.”

I spin around and glare at her. “Really? Is that what you think?”

Ryann smirks. “Yes, it is.”

“Then get the hell out of my vehicle,” I tell her, through clenched teeth.

She shakes her head. “She doesn’t need to ruin your career or even relationships with other people, you’re doing a great job of that all on your own big brother.” Ryann opens the door and steps out. The door slams with an outstanding thud. I sit in my SUV along the sidewalk for a long time just trying to remember how to breathe.

As I pull onto the street, I know there’s only one place I’ll be able to decompress. I turn my Range Rover in the direction of the track. I don’t know why I want to go to the one place that seems to cause me the most turmoil in my life right now, but it’s the only place I’ve ever felt like home. I need to find the person I used to be. I need to find the guy that found the track as comforting as his home, sometimes even more so. The man I used to be yearned to be on the asphalt, flying around like I had nothing to lose at top speeds. Nothing scared me more than the idea of not racing. I wish I knew where he went.

I’ve been sitting in the stands staring at the dark track in the distance when I hear the light footsteps. It’s probably Max or Ryann, possibly even Tucker, but when I turn around the last person I expect to see is standing there. She looks no different than earlier aside from the fact that her hair is piled on top of her head in a messy bun and her face is clean of all makeup. She’s freaking gorgeous, so much it almost hurts to look at her. The craziest thing is…I don’t think she even realizes it. Sutton Pierce isn’t just my rival; she’s going to be my undoing.

“What are you doing here?” I ask her. My voice comes out harsher than I intended it to.

Sutton doesn’t even flinch. Either she’s got a really tough skin and she’s used to the harshness of a tone or she’s just got used to me being an ass to her. She looks out over the track and I watch her shoulders rise as she takes in a deep breath. “Sometimes, I just need to be away from everyone. I just need the quiet and there’s no place that silences my mind better than some asphalt.”

I feel her words down the core of me. “I get that.”

After a few moments of silence Sutton finally asks the loaded question I was waiting for, “What are you doing here?”

“My sister not so kindly told me what an ass I’ve been lately to just about everyone, but you especially. I just needed a place to think and try to find who I used to be again. “I hang my head because after Ryann’s verbal lashing, I feel even worse about how I’ve treated Sutton since I’ve met her.

“Well, I won’t argue with you there,” she tells me, as she moves forward, away from me. I should let her go. She clearly needs space and quiet to think about something but for some reason I get up and move towards her.

As I come up behind her I quietly tell her, “I’m sorry.”

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