Page 36 of Rivals

Sutton nods her head and takes in our surroundings once more. “This place is really beautiful, too. It almost has a Moroccan vibe to it.”

“It’s gorgeous,” I tell her, but my eyes haven’t left her face. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’ve never been that guy. The one who has lines or plans big dates. This isn’t something I’m used to, but I just wanted this time away with her. Away from the spotlight, racing and our contracts. Somewhere we can just be Rathe and Sutton without all the complications sitting on our shoulders at the moment.

The waiter comes and goes, he takes our orders, brings our drinks and food all the while Sutton and I just talk. I feel the slow shift within my body. That same magnetic pull to her that I felt the first day at the track, when she took her helmet off. I want to know more about her. I want to know everything, but she’s got a wall of defense I need to take down first. It won’t be an easy task, but I’m not one for giving up. “So, tell me about yourself?”

Sutton’s fork freezes midair. I almost feel like I asked her to solve a physics equation. “There’s not much to say. I’m not close to any of my biological family, so Evanna is my family. We’ve had each other’s backs through everything.”

“Sounds like Ryann, Maxton, and me.”

She nods her head. “Exactly like that.” Silence falls between us but there’s something uneasy about it now. I can’t pinpoint it but it’s there. Sutton looks around the city. “I always love city lights, but I never thought I’d witness them like this. This has to be my favorite part about tonight.”

“Why city lights?” I ask. Curiosity getting the best of me. I don’t miss how she averts her gaze to her plate, refusing to look up and meet my eyes. Her shoulders dip ever so slightly. I want to know why but something tells me that even if she explains why she likes city lights I still won’t know why she seems so alone sometimes.

Sutton shrugs. “I don’t know exactly. They were always beautiful, always consistent. As long as there is electricity there will be city lights. They keep the world from getting too scary. I mean, look around. If the city was pitch black right now it’d be frightening, but with the lights, it’s beautiful and hopeful. When you grow up in the sketchy part of town you look for hope even if you find it hard to believe in, beauty and consistency wherever you can find it.”

Her words are beautiful, she’s beautiful. I want to tell her that, but the question falls from my tongue quicker. I didn’t want to ask her because she’ll probably close down the minute that I ask. “Sketchy part of town?”

“Yeah, not all of us grow up princesses.” Silence falls between us and I know that’s all I’m going to get from her. I want to know so much more. There’s this burning need to know it all, but I know I can’t push her and I’m not even sure I should push myself right now.

Eventually, we fall into our easy banter as we eat. I watch as the muted lighting casts a golden halo over her face. Her eyes almost look solid blue in this light, but I miss the stormy gray added to the blue depths I’ve come accustomed to. Once we finish eating, we take the elevator down to the bottom of the building. “Do you feel like a little walk before we grab the car?”

“Sure,” she replies, with a bright smile. I’m glad she seems to be the Sutton that I know again. I’ve learned there’s two versions of her. The first version is the one I know, the one most people know. It’s the one she allows people to see. She smiles and acts a certain way that is not always her. The other version is the one that seems lonely, holding on to secrets that weigh her down when she could share that burden with those who care about her. I want to know both, but I’m scared of the other version. I’ve never been the best at being there for someone else. What if I can’t be what she needs when I ask for that version?

I lead us a few blocks away. We pass live musicians playing for tips and fun. People dancing. Cafes and boutiques, clubs and bars and more than enough people before we finally reach the beach. “You like the city lights and I like the beach at night, without all the hustle and bustle of the crowds of people. I like the peaceful quiet and solitude of the beach at night.”

Sutton wraps her arms around herself. “It almost seems like you’re all alone.”

“Yeah, I guess sometimes it does. In my world being alone isn’t the worst thing to happen to me. I rarely get a moment alone during race season. You'll see what I mean soon enough.” I scan the area to make sure we’re alone before I step forward and pull her into me. I breathe in her scent that calms the anxiety that lives in my blood. Leaning down I take her mouth as if it’s the lifeline I need and maybe it is.

Thirty-Eight

Sutton

Being back in my own bed in Sunnyville feels odd after two weeks of sleeping in hotels next to Rathe. My bed now feels empty and cold. I roll over and reach to the other side as if that can magically summon his body next to mine. It’s early and I should be jet lagged but I’m wide awake. Technically today is the last day of our press tour. There is a full day function for Corporate Cares sponsored by CD Enterprises and then a banquet tonight. This is the only function I’ve been looking forward to on the entire schedule. Maybe I’m biased because it’s a matter that hits so close to home for me.

I climb out of my bed and head into the kitchen to grab a soda. I need the caffeine. After raiding the fridge and eating more than my share of junk food, I camp out on the couch to watch Clueless. Evanna stumbles in about halfway through the movie and tosses herself down next to me. “I can’t believe you’re watching Clueless without me, you bitch.”

I laugh. “Wow, such a warm welcome after my absence. I guess that saying about the ‘absence making the heart grow fonder’ isn’t true after all.”

Evanna gives me a glare. “I still love you, but you know Christian is my man. He’s so dreamy.” Evanna literally sighs like some schoolgirl.

My eyes roll on their own accord. “No, definitely not. I think you need to go find those glasses you refuse to wear because it’s all about Josh.”

“Josh?” Evanna scoffs. “The tree hugging, stepbrother?”

“Dude, it’s Paul Rudd. He’s like forty and still looks too damn good. Besides, he was the best guy in the movie.”

Evanna shakes her head and makes a gagging noise. “Now, I think you’re the one that needs glasses.”

“Whatever,” I counter back at her.

Evanna gives me her best sneer. “As if.” For a moment, we just stare one another down before we cave and crack up. Evanna launches herself into my arms. “I missed you! This house was so quiet while you were gone. I even considered throwing raging parties every night.”

“You did not but I missed you too!” I hug her back. Evanna and I have had the same argument over Christian and Josh from Clueless for years. Every time we watch the movie, we know that it’s coming. “So, tell me what I missed here?”

Evanna shakes her head. “Oh no you don’t. You are not going to come back and dodge the Rathe subject. You’re the one that has details to spill, not me, so get to spilling sister.”

I shrug and avoid her eye contact. “There’s not really anything to tell. I mean I’m sure you watched most of the videos and clips from the tour online or over social media.”

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