Page 37 of Rivals

“I’m not talking about the damn tour! I’m talking about you sleeping next door to Rathe McCall and this weird attraction the two of you share but fight as if it’s the worst idea ever.” Evanna huffs and I can’t help but laugh. She’s being slightly dramatic, but she has no idea how close to the truth she is.

“You have no idea how bad of an idea Rathe and I are,” I admit to her quietly.

“What do you mean?” Evanna sits up. That’s the thing about her. She knows when to give you hell, when to make you laugh, when to be your shoulder to cry on, and when to be your ear to listen. She’s the best friend anyone could ask for.

My head falls back to rest on the couch and I roll it towards her. The truth is on the tip of my tongue and I know if I can trust anyone with this truth it’s her but it almost feels like if I say it out loud I’m setting myself up to get hurt which is ridiculous, because I’m already there. “These two weeks have been so confusing Evanna. I mean, at first Rathe was hot and cold again and it was frustrating. I basically was ready to give up but then Rathe kissed me and I swear I melted like a popsicle on a hot summer day.”

“That good huh?” Evanna asks, eyebrows raised.

The memory comes rushing back. “I felt it everywhere, from the top of my head to the tip of my toes.” Evanna lets out a low whistle while fanning herself dramatically. “Then things basically went cold again.”

“What the actual hell?” she asks.

“Well, it turns out we literally can’t have a relationship because of a clause in our contract, but then we spent the better half of our tour sneaking around at night. I think we even had a date last night in Miami.” Last night has been on replay since it happened. I can’t shake the feelings I have for Rathe or the way he’s taking down my walls, one brick at a time. Evanna asks for details and I gladly fill her in because I need to tell someone. I also need someone to tell me I’m not crazy for risking everything over Rathe and whatever might be between us.

Evanna sits back on the couch after I’m finished recapping the last two weeks. “Wow, I don’t even know what to say. I’m shocked and so damn proud at the same time. I mean, Ryann and I knew there was something between the two of you, but we had no idea it was this hot.”

I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter how hot it is, Evanna. It’s breaking the rules of our contracts. It’d be crazy to risk our careers for whatever is between us, right?”

She sighs. “You know me, Sutton. I’m a hopeless romantic. That part of me is dominant, so yes, I’d risk a career that I barely started for love. I’d do it without a second thought but you’re not me Sutton. You’ve always wanted security and I can’t fault you for that. Especially given our childhood. So, do what makes you happy, that’s the best advice I have for you.”

Of course, Evanna would choose Rathe over racing. It’d be an easy decision for her, but she’s right; I don’t think the same way she does. I’d choose my career because it’s what will keep me above water and give my life meaning, long after he’s gone. I sigh. “Will come with me today?”

“You know I will.”

I stand up. “Great, let’s go get dressed then.” I stand in front of my closet for too long, debating on what to wear. Finally, I remind myself that I'm still the same Sutton and I need to put on what I’m comfortable in. I grab a pair of black denim cutoffs, a distressed Guns n’ Roses t-shirt that shows just enough skin to be cool and sexy and toss on my black Converse. I have Evanna French braid the scalp of my hair and pull the rest into a messy bun. I go light on the makeup since we’re going to be outside for most of the day anyways. I throw on a pair of earrings I bought from Jowanna that she had made on a whim during the tour that match my shirt and grab my sunglasses.

When I step out of my room Evanna’s mouth falls open. “Okay, where’s Sutton?”

I roll my eyes. “You’re being ridiculous.”

She shakes her head. “No, I’m not. You look hot and Rathe isn’t going to know what hit him when we get there.”

“It doesn’t matter. We can’t be together in public so none of this matter but if we’re late it does, so let’s go.” I tell her, as I slip my sunshades into place and head out to my car. Evanna is quiet on the drive over to the racetrack for CD Enterprises. I know she has a ton of shit she wants to say and she’s biting her tongue, because right now I need to plaster on my public smile and do my job. I’m grateful for that right now. As we pull up, I find the parking lot of the racetrack completely packed. I grab the first spot I can find. Evanna whimpers next to me and I look down to see her feet in a pair of wedges. “Oh hell, you really should have worn a different pair of shoes.”

“Shut up! I wasn’t expecting to have to walk this far,” she says, as she climbs out of the car.

I laugh. “Even if we weren’t walking this far, you’re going to be standing and walking around the majority of the day.”

“Well, it’s not like Converse go with this outfit,” she tells me, as she spins around in her sundress.

“We’ll see how you feel about Converse in a bit. Let’s go, fashionista.” My nerves grow with each step we take. While I was getting ready to come here, I had scanned my phone and seen some missed texts from Rathe, but I read them but never replied, because I’m not sure what to do about him. Now, I’m worried about how he’s going to act in person. Maybe, I should have at least answered him back, but it’s too late to worry about that now. We’re halfway through the parking lot when I hear his laughter and when I turn to find him, I see him walking with a tall, willowy redhead that makes my skin crawl. My stomach churns and despite the sunglasses he’s wearing, I know the moment his eyes land on me. His entire body goes rigid.

“Oh shit,” Evanna says next to me.

I shake my head and grab her hand. “Come on, let’s go.”

Thirty-Nine

Rathe

Last night was rough. I missed having Sutton beside me. I missed her warmth and soft snores that sometimes sound like little hums. I miss her scent clinging to the pillows and invading my senses. The first thing I wanted to do this morning was text her, but I fought that need off. I didn’t want to seem too clingy but then when I finally did text her, she never replied. Her silence almost made me feel like the last two weeks never happened. So, when my agent said he lined me up a “date” which is his fancy term for someone that he lines up for me to appear with at events, I was reluctant to agree, but couldn't say now. It’s mutually beneficial for the both of us and usually our agents are friends, so they like to help one another out. Normally, having a date to one of these things doesn’t bother me, but today it felt wrong. I kept checking my phone up until I actually left to pick up Tabitha, an upcoming runway model, but there was never any reply to my texts. My ego and pride were bruised, and I let that guide my judgement.

However, when I looked up and saw Sutton standing there it felt like the world literally stopped moving. I didn’t need to see her eyes behind her shades to know the moment she saw Tabitha and me. Her heated glare was on me and there was a falter in her armor. It was barely noticeable, but it was there. The moment when her face fell, I knew I royally screwed up. As quickly as that moment came, it went, replaced with the version of Sutton that doesn’t let people in. I saw her walls that I had been working to take down, go back up, higher and stronger than ever.

I couldn’t even meet Evanna’s gaze because I knew I’d see disappointment. Ryann had already mentioned that Evanna and her thought I had feelings for Sutton and with Evanna being Sutton’s best friend I’m sure she knows what happened over these past two weeks. Then again maybe she doesn’t. Maybe, I’m Sutton’s dirty little secret. Maybe, she regrets it all now that we’re back on our territory. Just because I fell for her in the matter of fourteen days doesn’t mean she fell for me. There’s a good chance that I’ve misread this whole situation. Tabitha and I continue towards the racetrack where there are all kinds of things set up. There’s food being cooked, face painting, games and tons of racers for the kids to mingle with. However, I barely register any of this or what Tabitha is saying because my mind is trying to piece together Sutton and whatever the hell is going on with us.

“Earth to Rathe,” Ryann says, waving her hand in my face.

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