Page 6 of Rivals

“Look, you have a great opportunity here, one I think you’d be crazy to let pass you by. I obviously can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you this, I think you race for another reason. I think it gives you purpose in a life where you haven’t had a lot of that. I think it gives you fleeting moments where it can be you and your dad against the world because when you slide behind the wheel of a car, he’s there with you. You say he wouldn’t approve of this type of racing, but let me tell you something Sutton, it’s all racing at the end of the day. It’s all cars, engines, fuel and speed. It doesn’t matter if it’s on a track, on the street or what kind of car you’re doing it in, it’s still racing.”

I stare at Tucker. My mouth is basically on the ground. No one has ever put my feelings into words, myself included but somehow this stranger just hit the nail on the head. I swallow past the lump of emotion in my throat. “Can I think about it?”

Tucker nods. “I can give you forty-eight hours. After that, though, I’ll have to look elsewhere. I need someone in that car, ready to train and ready to win and I need that driver soon so I can get them ready before the race season.”

“Okay,” I reply, before turning around and walking away. I have no clue what the hell I’m going to do now.

Six

Rathe

This can’t be my life right now. I mean seriously, it just can’t be. Why in the hell would Tucker go out and recruit another street racer for Revv-It? Another question, why her? It’s so obvious that she doesn’t belong on this track that I think I may have been shocked into silence earlier. I’ll give Sutton credit though she’s got some audacity. I mean stepping up to me and making that comment about rivals. I shake my head as I think about it now. It was ridiculous and the moment I should have put her in her place, but instead, I stood there silent and looking dumb.

I’m pacing in the trailer where her lavender scent still lingers, only pissing me off more. I mean, seriously? They let her use my trailer. Why couldn’t she change in the bathrooms? I mean maybe she’s just too good for all that. She’s probably one of the silver spoon princess types. All beautiful with curves like a track, just enough to drive us mad. Damn it! Why can’t I stop thinking about her?

The knock on the door nearly makes me jump out of my skin. Maxton appears once the door is open. “Hey, you coming to practice or what?” I nod my head, but Maxton doesn’t let it die there. He knows me well, too well sometimes because he can tell by looking at me that something is bugging me. He’ll either figure it out on his own or he’ll pester the shit out of me until I tell him. “What’s going on man?”

“Nothing, I’m just having an off day.” I look away and begin to pace once more.

I hear the door click as it shuts and for a moment, I take a deep breath, assuming that Maxton left me to dwell on my own but as I turn around to pace back, he’s standing there. Maxton’s face is serious, his stance rigid and his eyes are locked on me like he means business. He almost looks like a statue and the laughter that bubbles up out of my chest and exits my mouth, surprises us both. After a moment of laughing Maxton asks, “Should I be worried about you Rathe?” I shake my head, instantly dismissing the idea. “Look, I know we don’t talk about the wreck really but if you need to talk about it, I’m here.”

“I know that but there’s just not anything to talk about when it comes to that situation,” I tell him, giving him the best smile, I can muster.

By the look on his face it’s either not enough or not believable. “There’s definitely something to talk about. I mean you can act like it wasn’t a big deal or that it didn’t happen, but it was a big deal, and it did happen. Chris died that day along with two other racers. You were lucky to get out of that mess alive. I don’t think you’re dealing with it Rathe.”

The sarcastic laugh and shake of my head has become my go-to defense mechanism. “That’s funny. I didn’t think you were a damn therapist. Oh! That’s right, you aren’t. Why don’t you stop trying to psychoanalyze me and get your ass under the hood of my car? That’s what your pay grade gets you.”

Maxton’s eyes flash with hurt instantly turning my tongue to acid as the words I just spat out linger between us. The hurt morphs into disappointment and I’m not sure which is worse. Maxton snorts. “And you say you’re fine…” His statement falls between us for a moment before he turns and leaves the trailer, the door slamming shut behind him.

I turn around and punch the wall because I just became the biggest jackass of all.

****

I wish I could say that my test runs had gone well but they didn’t. I was angry with myself for talking to Maxton the way I did. He is my best friend and he’s always had my back. I shouldn’t have done that to him. I was also angry at Tucker. Even though I knew I had no right to be angry at him, I was. Tucker had a job to do and he was simply doing it. It wasn’t his fault that I couldn’t seem to get my shit together, and be the driver I was my first race season on the track. Revv-It Racing needed some wins in the upcoming season and I wasn’t the one to bet money on now days. The wreck had destroyed more than my car that day.

When I exit the trailer, I scan the area, looking for Maxton, I need to apologize. I don’t see him anywhere, so I stop and ask a couple of the crew, but they tell me he had left right after he ran the check through on the car. I know I upset him, even hurt his feelings but I am trying to make it right. Now, I’ll have to wait until lunch while Ryann watches me apologize. She is going to eat that up. There is nothing she finds more entertaining than watching me try to apologize. Apologizing is not my strong suit. It never has been and to be honest who was good at apologizing? I mean who wants to admit they were wrong?

Slipping on my sunglasses I wave goodbye to the security guards sitting at the gates. I head out to my truck and climb inside. Grabbing my phone, I text Ryann to let her know I’m on my way, but I might be a little late. You can never know what kind of traffic you’ll hit during this time of the day. She doesn’t reply the whole way to the restaurant which isn’t a good sign. Ryann probably already knows what I said to Maxton and she’s pissed about it, I’m sure. She’s the other third of our trio and highly protective over both of us, even if that means she’s upset with one of us.

I cut the engine and hop out of the car. Ryann is easy to spot. Her yellow sundress outshines everything around us. It’s so bright in contrast to her raven colored hair which is down and in loose curls. Her hazel eyes find mine and she glares as I approach. When she stands, I notice she’s a little taller and it’s not just because she’s wearing sky high wedges, it’s the straightening of her spine and squaring her shoulders, her preparation for battle with me. She’s going to let me have it. “You look stunning,” I tell her.

She scoffs and rolls her eyes as I lean in and pull her into a quick embrace. Normally, Ryann is one of the most affectionate people I know but right now she’s stiff as a board. She’s clearly more upset than I anticipated, not that I blame her. “Well, at least you can be nice to someone or did you finally get that stick out of your ass.”

Ryann sits back in her seat, her eyes unwavering while she waits for my answer. I sigh and take a seat. “I know I was a jackass to Maxton today and he didn’t deserve it.”

“You’re damn right he didn’t. None of us are deserving of your attitude lately.” Ryann looks away and studies the people on the sidewalk next to the outdoor seating she has chosen for us today.

“I’m sorry Ryann. I really am.” I hope she can hear the sincerity in my voice because I am sorry. I don’t want to hurt her, Maxton or my family but sometimes I’m just so lost in my own head with no way out. My aggression comes out verbally when I talk to them.

Ryann takes a deep breath before turning back to face me. Her eyes swim with moisture and emotion. “I know that, Rathe. I know you but I can’t pretend that I don’t notice the changes in you since the accident. I also can’t pretend to understand what you went through or how you feel now but I do know that you are letting the fear win and that’s a damn shame.”

Her words shock me, but then again Ryann has never been one to sugar coat something to ease your feelings. She’s in your face, to the point and completely honest. My mind wanders to Sutton and I know that her and Ryann would get along just fine. The waiter appears and we order our food. “So, Revv-It might have found its new rookie driver.”

“Maxton mentioned that, but I didn’t get any details from his grumpy ass. So, you need to spill.”

I chuckle. “Well, she’s a woman.”

Ryann rolls her eyes at my response. “Please, don’t turn into one of those sexist men now. You know damn good and well a woman can race just as good as any man if she wants.”

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