Page 26 of Autumn Skies & Pumpkin Pies

That dreaded C word makes my stomach churn and tears burn the backs of my eyes and emotion clogs my throat. “And now?”

“From what her mother told me; she goes every year for a checkup to make sure it hasn’t returned.” The silence that hangs between us is heavy and she walks around the kitchen island that doubles as a bar. My mom takes a seat in the stool next to mine. “Rocker, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Shaking my head, I turn to face her. “I should have asked. I was always curious, but I didn't want to seem weak and ask about her. She was suffering that whole time and I was just out doing whatever the hell I wanted. Playing a game, I loved while she was fighting for her life.”

“Hey, now you stop that. That’s what Warbee would have wanted for you. She would have never wanted you to give up football for her. I love her for that alone. Warbee walked away when she knew you wouldn’t because she wanted you to have that dream. I’m sure she wishes that you had been by her side during that, but you have now Rocker. Right now, you can change the next step. Be there for her now.” My mother wraps her arms around my shoulders and pulls me into her. The tears break free and even though I’m a grown man, I cry on my mom’s shoulder until I can think straight.

Twenty-Five

Warbee

When my mom pulls back into Blue Ridge on Friday, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For the past six years, every time the checkup rolls around, I become a mess. Unfortunately, Rocker caught the raw end of that this year. Even though I miss him terribly and hate the way things ended, I can’t regret it. Rocker deserves to have the life we always dreamed and planned for. I can’t give him that now. “How are you feeling, honey?”

I look over at my mom. Her red hair has lightened over the years. I think it’s the gray moving in and it makes me sad. “I’m feeling relieved.”

“Me, too,” she admits quietly. “So, any stops you want to make before we hit your place?”

I know what she’s hoping for. Keefer and her have both been on my case since we arrived in Atlanta. Keefer had been generous enough to us throughout the past six years to let me and whoever comes with me stay at his place whenever we’re in town. However, this was the first year I had regretted accepting this offer. I know him, my mom and even Teaganne believe I’m making a mistake by ending things with Rocker, but they don’t understand. I can’t explain to them in a way to make them understand, so I just refuse to listen to them. “Yeah, swing by the bakery. I want to check on things.”

“Honey, why don’t you just go home and rest?”

“Mom, I have a clean bill of health right now and I want to go to my bakery. Please, swing by there,” I tell her. She sighs and I know she’s not happy about it, but she does as I ask. As I enter, I expect to see Capri behind the counter but instead it’s my dad and Teaganne. Silas and Seraphina come running over as the door closes behind me. “Auntie Bee!” They both wrap their tiny arms around my waist or leg, whichever they can reach.

“Hi guys,” I tell them. We talk for a minute before my mom gathers them up and heads back to the table where they were seated coloring. “I thought you were in New York.”

“I was but then I knew I wanted to be here. So, I packed as much as I could and came back. You were already in Atlanta, so I figured I’d surprise you. This bakery has been crazy busy, in a sense I had no idea. I’ve been helping out around here since I had nothing else to do.” I rush around the counter and hug her.

Teaganne is the best friend I could have ever asked for. I remember when I first got diagnosed with cervical cancer how she became a rock for me. She basically lived with me in Atlanta for the entire year while my parents came to visit. Keefer helped out as well. It’s been one of the few times I’ve seen them not be awkward around one another since they’ve broken up. She was there for the surgery, every doctor visit, radiation and chemotherapy treatment. Teaganne held my hand while I was scared, angry, confused, and sad. She dried my tears when I found out my life would never be how I planned. Now, here she is again being the rock. I feel like our roles have reversed. In high school, I often chased around Teaganne keeping her out of trouble.

“You’re the best, Teaganne Erickson.”

She shakes her head. “Might as well go back to calling me Teaganne Voss. I filed for divorce. It’ll be my name again soon enough.”

“Oh, Teag.”

Teaganne waves off my sympathy. “It’s for the best.” After a beat of silence. “Enough about that! You’re healthy and we need to celebrate. Your father has so graciously offered to watch my munchkins for the night and close up shop.”

I laugh and shake my head. “No, I’m going home and curling up with a good book.”

“Oh no, you don’t. We’re going down to the Blue Bar and having a few drinks to celebrate.” Teaganne places her hands on her hips, her look stern. I know now how she manages her fashion lines so well. She’s a force to be reckoned with.

My dad walks over and wraps an arm around my shoulders. “She’s right. You should go out and celebrate. Act like a normal twenty something girland enjoy it, just for tonight. This will all be here tomorrow.” He presses a kiss to the side of my head. “I’m glad you’re okay baby.”

He turns away so quickly that I can’t be sure, but I think he had tears in his eyes. I sigh and turn back to Teaganne. “Fine! Let’s go.”

Teaganne gives me a large, triumphant smile. “Yes!!! Let’s go.” She grabs my hand and pulls me around the counter and out of the bakery only stopping to kiss her kid's goodnight and tell them to behave. When we reach my house Teaganne ushers me inside. Teaganne throws me a pair of ripped up jeans, boots and black tank top. I slip them on while she digs around in her suitcase. At last, she hands me a black sparkly duster to go over my tank. It’s all her and nothing like me, but it is pretty. She pulls my hair down and makes quick work of pulling half up and leaving some wispy pieces down to frame my face. Teaganne darkens my eye makeup and calls it done.

As we head over to the bar, I look at Teaganne. “Thanks for not insisting on contacts tonight.”

“You got off lucky. Now, let’s go have some fun.” I know we’re celebrating my clean bill of health, but I also feel like tonight is about Teaganne. She’s obviously avoiding her life and everything going on in it. I hate to see her do this, but hopefully, it’s just a distraction for tonight and it doesn’t become a habit.

We head inside and grab a table. An hour later, and a couple of drinks, I’m feeling really good. Teaganne feels even better. We’ve been line dancing when I head to the table for a break. I can feel his presence before I see him. When I turn around, I find his blue eyes on me. He’s standing with a beer in one hand and a dart in the other. Mase, his high school friend, stands beside him. The hole in my heart rips back open. My eyes burn and I know there’s no amount of alcohol to make me miss him less. Both of us living in Blue Ridge is going to be the worst thing ever. I turn away and grip the back of my chair.

I know he’s going to come over here but when he leans in next to my ear, his scent mixing with his beer and the smoke of the bar, I nearly break. “We need to talk.” I meet his eyes and I know that he knows. All the air leaves the room and the only thing I can think to do is run, so I turn around and rush out of the bar.

Twenty-Six

Rocker

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