Page 21 of Autumn Wishes and Pumpkin Kisses

“I honestly don’t know how I even ended up pregnant with her. At that point, we rarely saw each other. I had been playing the role of a single mother from the time Silas was born. Joe always had something to do and people to see. I was no longer his shiny new toy. Don’t get me wrong, he made sure we had everything we could ever need. Money was at our disposal, but I was alone in our marriage. Silas didn’t have a father. Seraphina wouldn’t either. I don’t think Joe really wanted kids, but it happened. I stayed as long as I could.” Teaganne wipes tears from under eyes. “Honestly, I’d probably still be there, but he wanted a divorce. I made it seem like I asked for it. I didn’t, but it’s what I needed, too.”

On instinct, I reach over and take her hand. “I’m so sorry, Teag.”

“It’s okay. I don’t have any regrets.” She pauses and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. “Well, maybe one.”

Teaganne lived by the motto of no regrets, so I’m curious what her one regret is. “And what’s that?”

She takes a deep breath before turning to face me. Her hand squeezes mine. “How we ended.”

It’s like she knocked the air right out of me. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that. I release her hand and run mine through my hair. Nerves and emotions I have had buried for so long make me antsy so I stand up and start to walk back and forth then I head for the house. I’m standing inside at the kitchen island when I feel her presence. I glance over my shoulder and see her standing in the doorway. “Why? Why bring that up now?”

“Because we’ve never talked about it, but we should have. You deserve to know why.”

I spin around as anger flares inside me. “It won’t change anything.”

She shakes her head. “No, it won’t, but it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it. You deserved it then, but I was too scared to tell you. Leaving you was killing me, but I couldn't let that show.”

My hands run through my hair. I start to pace again and shake my head, but suddenly, she’s in front of me. Her scent engulfs me, calms my emotions. Those honey eyes that used to hold my entire future lock onto mine. Calming, tiny hands caress my cheeks. “You were giving up everything for me. You loved me in a way I couldn’t even begin to comprehend, but I also knew I couldn’t let you sacrifice everything for me. Going to college in California had been my dream. Moving to New York City was my dream. You were willing to give up every dream you had to make mine come true. It made me love you so damn much, but it was scary and overwhelming Keefer. I knew that at some point you’d wake up and realize you gave up everything to let me have it all. You could resent me for that. It would have ruined us so I made the decision. My one and only regret in life. I ruined us before that could. In my mind, it would be easier to know you hated me every day you woke up for as long as you had something for yourself. You needed something that was yours, Keefer. I couldn’t let you just forget about yourself completely. I just couldn’t. Look at you now. I’m so proud of you. You’ve accomplished so much and you have made your dream come true.”

Her words leave me speechless once more. She’s not wrong. Nothing that I was doing then was for me. It was all for her. It was her dreams that I was trying to make come true. I don’t think I could have ever resented her but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe, when she made the decision to ruin us, she actually saved us. A few stray tears make their way down her cheeks. One of my hands reaches out to wipe them away. “There’s only one thing wrong with that.” Her eyebrows pull together in confusion. “You were part of my dream come true.” I pull her into me. My mouth finds hers. She’s hesitant at first, but just like before we quickly find our rhythm. I sink into everything that is Teaganne. Her fingers run through my hair. One of my arms wraps around her waist holding her as close as possible, while my other hand is tangled in her hair. Maybe, we had to fall apart to come back together.

EIGHTEEN

Teaganne

Kissing Keefer is effortless. It feels like I’ve finally found my place in this world once again. Keefer was always my missing puzzle piece, the one person that completes me. I don’t believe in soulmates, but if I did, Keefer would be mine. His lips are rough on my soft. An urgency moves through us as the kiss deepens. His hand tangles more into my hair. When we finally pull apart, I grab onto the kitchen island to keep myself from melting to the wood floor beneath me. Every fiber of my being is like Jell-O. My heart beats wildly against my rib cage. “Why did you do that?” I whisper. I hadn’t considered the question before I asked. I certainly hadn’t meant to whisper it.

Keefer runs his hands through his hair and instantly the memory of moments before floods my mind. The feel of that exact hand being tangled into my hair. He looks up and meets my eyes, scratches at the stubble coating his face. “Because it was long overdue. Because we have been waiting for that for far too long. Teag, for years all I wanted was to know was why you ended us, why you left. You told me and even though it didn’t make sense at the time. Admittedly, if you had told me then I would have fought against every word you just said, but now I know you were right. I didn’t regret my decision to follow you. I never could. I loved you with everything I had. However, I can admit that I didn’t have anything, but you in California.”

The kiss was long overdue and so was the explanation. I hate that I didn’t tell him sooner, but I’ve been a coward, running from everything, trying to pretend my life was perfect. I have had watchful eyes on me for so long. If it wasn’t my children then it was the paparazzi. Image is everything in front of the paparazzi. There was a role to be played and I played it well and for as long as I could. The role left me lonely and lost. Standing in this kitchen with Silas and Seraphina asleep a few feet away and the man I love standing in front of me. I know I’m home. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you. When Warbee was sick and we were staying with you in Atlanta I should have told you then, but I just couldn’t bring myself to have that discussion. Some part of me was still trying to hold on to Joe and the life I thought I wanted in New York. I was too scared to admit it was you.”

He shrugs his broad shoulders and gives me that smirk, half smile, the one that has probably gotten him more women than I care to know. “It’s okay.” I shake my head, denial on the tip of my tongue, but he steps closer and pulls me into him by my hips. Those blue eyes I always saw in my future peer into mine. “It’s okay. It really is. Things happen for a reason. I didn’t understand at the time. I was angry and bitter, but I moved on pretty well. Then we both ended up back in Blue Ridge and it made me start thinking.”

My head tilts to the side as my hands slide up his arms to his biceps. “Thinking about what?”

“Second chances. I was never a believer in them, but my mom is. She made me think that maybe this was our second chance. The more I thought about it the more I wished it was true. Being with you... it’s as easy as breathing Teag.”

His words mean everything to me, but there’s one subject we have to talk about. “It’s not just about me though, Keefer.”

His eyes travel over my shoulder, out towards the fire. “If you mean Silas and Seraphina, then you should know that it’s just as easy with them. You know I always wanted a family.”

“But they aren’t biologically your children…”

I hate even saying those words. Keefer looks offended for a moment and shakes his head. “Do you honestly think that matters to me?”

My shoulders lift in a shrug. “It matters to some people.”

I watch as his nostrils flare, his chest rises and falls with a deep breath. “I’m not one of those people. Those two kids out there are a part of you. I love you, so therefore I love them. There is no way I would have kissed you if I thought they were a complication of any kind. In my opinion, the three of y’all are a packaged deal and I’ll happily subscribe to it.”

Tears fill my eyes. “I don’t deserve you.”

His hands caress my cheeks again. “You do. You deserve me. I deserve you and the four of us deserve to be a family. That may seem like it’s too soon to say, but I’ve been waiting almost eleven years to have you back in my life. I feel like I’ve been waiting all those years to truly live again. I’m not getting any younger over here, and I know what I want, and I’ll go after it. I want you. I want Silas. I want Seraphina and, in the future, I want us to be a family.”

I wrap my arms around his neck, burying my face into his chest. My tears soak his shirt but he doesn’t interrupt me. He just quietly and securely holds me. Reminding me I’m not alone. One of his hands massages my scalp, giving me comfort. A comfort I haven’t had in years. Once I’ve calmed down, I look over my shoulder. The fire is starting to die out. “I should get them home.”

“Stay here.” I look back at Keefer like he’s crazy. “We can all stay here in the living room. I’ll build a fire. The kids can sleep on the loveseat and you and I can have the couch.”

“Keefer, that's a lot of trouble.” I don’t hate the idea though. In all honesty, I kind of love the idea.

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