Page 16 of Autumn Leaves and Pumpkins Please

The fire of unreasonable anger burns in my belly. I’m not actually mad at Jayse, but I'm about to take my personal anger out on him. It’s completely unfair, but the words are on the tip of my tongue. “I made a promise to myself to never make these kinds of mistakes again.”

For a moment, Jayse looks genuinely confused then I think the meaning of my words sink in. “These kinds of mistakes?”

I roll my eyes. I guess I’ve decided to swim after all. “Yes, Jayse. I told you about my history. I don’t want to keep repeating it yet here I am.”

“I’m not like your exes,” he says, through clenched teeth.

The worst part about this is that I know he’s nothing like any of them. Jayse is in a league of his own. Whoever created him smashed the mold afterwards. He is truly one of a kind. I can tell that within just the amount of time I’ve spent with him. It hasn’t been much time, but it’s been more than enough. “So, you say. They’ve all said something similar though.”

Silence falls between us. We stare at each other, each one silently begging the other to reach forward and close the growing distance but neither of us will. Both of us are too damaged to do that. “If that’s how you feel then maybe you’re right. This was a mistake.”

His words slice at me as I’m sure mine just did to him. I stand up silently and make my way to the bedroom. I dress quickly and then make my way back through the house to the back door. My hand rests on the doorknob for a moment, but he doesn’t say anything, so I yank it open and make my way back to my apartment. My heart is resting at the bottom of the ocean, sad and broken. My head is yelling victory for walking away. Both are being dramatic.

When I reach my apartment, I shut the door and my back slides down until I hit the floor. Tears leak down my face. Thora watches me from across the room. Eventually, she makes her way over to me, but she's just another reminder of him now.

FOURTEEN

Jayse

It’s been a week. A week since Capri’s guards came up and locked me out of her life. A week since I let her walk away without even trying to fight for her. I know that if I had tried that more than likely it would have been wasted time, but a part of me wonders if that’s not what she needs. Someone to fight for her. Someone to show her that she is worth every obstacle you might have to face. Someone to show her that she is indeed worth everything. I have this sinking feeling in my gut that she’s never had that before.

Capri smiles and flirts. Confidence in every action shines through but I wonder if it’s more of a show. Is she as confident as she seems? For some reason, as I lie in bed at night watching the ceiling fan above me make slow rotations, I question this. Nightmares aren’t currently haunting me, but then again, I’m not really sleeping. I keep trying to figure out where everything went wrong. Capri wants to keep the world at arm's length, to never get hurt again. I don’t blame her for that, but the problem is that it isn't a practical plan. You’ll never be able to keep everyone far enough away to avoid being hurt. I know firsthand that doesn’t work. I’ve tried it for years and foolishly I thought I was succeeding, but then Capri showed up in my life. I got too close to her and now I’m consumed.

This week is the last week of Bushels of Fun. The local fall festival that is held every year. After this, you’ll still be able to pick pumpkins and apples, but the rest of the activities will be gone until next year. Blue Ridge can be magical during this time of year if you allow it. All of the leaves changing colors, the cooler breeze coming off the mountains, the fresh scent in the air. Everyone seems to be energized in a different way. Maybe, it’s the change of temperatures. Whatever causes it the whole town joins in for the fall festival.

****

I’ve been working all day on rebuilding this porch. For a moment, I stop to wipe the sweat from my face when I hear the crunch of tires on the gravel circle driveway behind me. When I turn around, I see Everett. He climbs out of his charcoal gray Ford truck and heads my way. “Howdy,” I greet him.

Everett laughs and shakes his head. “You always throw me off when you greet me that way.”

“You should be used to it. I’ve done it since we were in school,” I remind him. He extends an ice-cold bottle of water to me. I gladly take it. Bringing the cold liquid to my lips I chug half the bottle.

“Word to the wise, you might want to take a break every now and then to hydrate. Your sister is a nurse, right?” he asks.

Rolling my eyes and turning back around, I start working on the porch once more. “You know that she is. I mean, you were a lovesick puppy over her for years so I’m pretty sure you know more about her than I do sometimes.” Silence falls between us. The tension, that suddenly fills the space between Everett and I, shocks me. I stand up and turn back around to look at him. Everett looks like a deer frozen in headlights. “What’s wrong?”

I watch as his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows. He looks terrified and I’m not entirely sure why. “So, I needed to talk to you about something.”

This must be serious if he looks like this. Everett is clearly nervous, so I place the hammer in my hand back into the tool belt hanging on my waist. As I approach, Everett his eyes seem to widen even more. “What’s up man?”

“So, you know how you said I was always a lovesick puppy over Whitney?”

I chuckle and nod my head. “Yeah, it was obvious, man.” I’m laughing as I think back to our high school days, but then the dots start to connect in my head. My laughter dies out and I realize the reason he is so nervous is because whatever he needs to tell me, has to do with my little sister. Somehow, I have an idea about what he needs to tell me. “I’m guessing it has to do with Whitney.”

Everett’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “We’ve been talking.”

“Since when? How?” I ask.

“A few weeks.” He shrugs his shoulders. “She came into the store after her shift looking for some stuff to fix a leaking sink. I helped her out, but the next day she came by again and said it didn’t work. For some reason, she didn’t seem to want to bother you, so I volunteered to go by and check it out for her. I got it fixed and she insisted on fixing me dinner as a thank you. Cayley was with the babysitter so I told her I couldn’t but then she told me to bring her as well. Cayley loved Whitney and vice versa. Whitney was great with her. Afterwards, we just hung out and talked for a really long time. We exchanged numbers and we’ve been texting ever since and I asked her to the autumn ball dance at the end of the week, but then I got worried because I really should have asked you if it was okay first.”

I hold up my dirty hands to stop him from talking anymore. Everett’s mouth slams shut, and I can see the worry in his eyes. I smile at him, and I watch as his shoulders relax some. “I’m not upset, Everett. I’m actually really happy for y’all. There’s only one thing I need to say...don’t hurt my baby sister. I don’t think that you would because you’ve basically been in love with her for the majority of your life, but it’s my brotherly duty to threaten you. Don’t make me have to kick your ass.”

Everett sighs. “I didn’t sleep at all last night worrying about asking you.”

“You never needed to ask me. Whitney is a grown woman who can’t be told what to do, not that I would even try,” I tell him with a chuckle.

Everett bobs his head. “You are right about that.”

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