Page 7 of Autumn Leaves and Pumpkins Please

At some point I must have dozed off, sitting in the chair. The shining moonlight wakes me as it peeks through the slats of the vertical blinds. Stretching my stiff muscles, I stand up. The first thought on my mind is I wonder how Capri made it through the night. Swiftly, I make my way to the kitchen and open the blinds. To my surprise Capri’s blinds are still closed so maybe she actually listened and is going to take it easy but just to be safe…

I dress quickly, hopping on my bike. I’m sitting outside of Bee’s Batter when Warbee arrives. She jumps with a startle. “Jayse, you scared the daylights out of me?”

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to make sure Capri told you about what happened last night.”

Warbee’s eyes widen, and I see a thousand questions roll through them. That one look answers the question I had. Capri did not tell her, which means she’s probably planning on coming to work which does not qualify as taking it easy. “What happened? Is she okay?” Warbee asks. Concern and protectiveness lacing every word. Warbee really can be a firecracker. I quickly explained what happened and her shoulders ease. “But she’s okay?” she asks again.

I nod my head. “Yes, she’s fine. She just needs to take it easy.”

“Then she will. If she shows up, I’ll send her home.” Warbee smiles. I turned around and head back towards my bike, feeling like I did a good deed. “Jayse?” I turned back around to Warbee. The streetlights are still on since the sun isn’t out yet. Chilly breeze nips at my skin. “Capri has an amazing heart and soul. Be careful with it though. She’s more fragile than she seems.” Warbee turns around and heads inside her bakery. I stand on the sidewalk, trying to make sense of what I’m feeling. My heart thundered in my chest. There’s only one person I can talk to right now. My motorcycle rumbles to life as I take off down the quiet streets.

I’m leaning against my motorcycle when she appears, wiping sleep from her eyes. When she notices me, her eyes widen briefly before a smile takes over her face, completely erasing the stress that was there moments before. “You know, considering we live in the same small town, you go missing for long periods of time.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” I tell her, as I pull her in for a hug.

“I just got off work and I probably smell like antiseptic.” She tries to push me back, but I don’t budge.

My laugh fills the silent parking lot, the sun starting to peek up in the clouds. “You forget we used to live together. I’ve smelled you at your worst.”

“Ugh! Shut up! You’re horrible.” She slaps my chest.

I lean down and smile. “But you love me.”

She rolls her eyes, and it instantly reminds me of Capri. Something inside me shifts. “Because we’re related. Don’t let that ego inflate any more than it already has. So, what brings you around my part of the world, Big Brother?”

Whitney is my younger sister. She’s a nurse at the local hospital. Whitney has a knack for helping people when they are at their worst. She also gives the best advice. No one knows me better than her. We have the same chocolate brown hair and stormy gray eyes, but she’s petite. “Can’t a brother just want to see his sister?”

“Normal brothers...sure. You...never.” She raises her eyebrows in suspicion. I shrug my shoulders and she gasps “Oh. My. It has to do with a girl!” Her voice reaches an octave that only dogs can hear. The little jumpy dance she’s doing while clapping is another sign that she’s clearly lost her mind.

I place my hands on her shoulders to stop her dancing. “I think my ears are bleeding.”

“You didn’t say no,” she says, pointing a finger at me.

“I didn’t say yes either, but why are you so excited?”

Whitney comes to stand beside me, leaning against the motorcycle. “Is it wrong that I want to see my brother happy?”

Sighing, I reply, “Not everyone deserves to be happy.”

“Bullshit. Everyone does, but not everyone believes that they do. You’re one of those tortured souls that doesn’t believe you deserve it. You’re wrong, you carry your hurt and guilt so close that no one can get through the webs you’ve weaved unless they have a wrecking ball.” Whitney looks up and gives me a small, sad smile. “You aren’t supposed to live this way, Jayse. No one wants this for you.”

“And no one gets it,” I bite back.

She reaches up and slaps the back of my head lightly. “Don’t snap at me and yes, we get some of it. We’ve been watching you for years. I get that you feel like you failed and that you lost more than any of us truly know but no one blames you. Hell, you almost died trying to save them. It’s not your fault the roof came down at that point in time.”

Moving away from the bike, I shake my head and begin to pace. The panic and anxiety building, eating me up inside once again. “Stop. Just stop.”

My sister, who stands a foot shorter than me, comes to stand directly in front of me, blocking my path. Her arms are crossed, and her gray eyes look like a hurricane about to erupt. “No! You came to me because you want tough love. If you wanted someone to tell you it was all okay to keep living like this, you would have gone to Mom and Dad. You’re here, so suck it up buttercup.”

“Whit…” My voice sounds weak, defeated, lost. It’s a plea, but I don’t even know what I want.

“Let it go. Stop carrying a burden around that you couldn’t help. It’s okay to live. You’re allowed to live.”

Her words pierce my heart, but I’m not sure they’ll stay. We’ve had conversations like this before, but it’s never stuck. After a few hours I’ll slip back into my pity-party and sulk there. Then again, I’ve never had someone like Capri. It seems crazy because I don’t even know her, but some part of me feels her on a different level. She pulled at my heart strings and now I’m not sure how to navigate.

Whitney steps forward. “That’s all I’ve got for now, Jayse, but try to actually do what I say this time. You deserve this. I’m exhausted so I’m going to go home and get some sleep. I love you. Please, be careful.”

I wrap her in my arms and press a kiss to the top of her head. She really does smell like antiseptic, but I’d never tell her that. “Thank you, Whit. I love you.”

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