Page 39 of Pit Stop

Twenty-Nine

Tillman

My mind is at war. A part of it, the logical part, knows this is a horrible idea. I’m nothing Odette needs. My past will always be there, haunting me, lurking in the shadows. I shouldn’t put her in danger like this. She doesn’t even understand how dangerous this could be. If something happens to her because of me I can’t undo that. I can’t survive that.

Despite the logical side of my head knowing this is a bad idea, my body has made the decision to ignore it. I want Odette. I would almost venture and say I need her—and maybe on some unexplainable level I do. The feeling of her against me is like my own little slice of Heaven, a piece I never expected, and definitely don’t deserve. However, none of that seems to matter now because everything about her consumes me in a way I didn’t know was possible. From the moment I laid eyes on her I’ve been drawn, linked if you will, to her and I’m done denying it now.

My head and body scream at one another internally. The battle lines drawn, but neither backing down. There’s no good way for this to end but damn it... I want it so badly. She pulls back slightly. Every part of me misses her in an instant. “Stop.” Her eyes are hard, cheeks flushed, and lips swollen slightly.

“Stop what?” I ask, and my brows pull together in confusion.

“Stop overthinking this. Just let it happen.”

I rest my forehead against hers. The place I want to stay forever but know I can’t. “Odette... you don’t understand,” I plead with her.

She backs away. Hurt evident on her face. I’m not rejecting her, or at least I’m not trying to, but she’s not going to see it that way. Hurting her is the last thing I want to do. “I understand. Let’s just get back. I’m sure Odin needs his school stuff for homework.”

“Odette,” I say on a sigh.

She shakes her head as she turns away from me. Her guard is most definitely up and higher than before. Despite knowing it’s for the best, I hate it. Why is the right thing to do, never the easy thing? Why does it have to suck so badly?

We drive back to the hotel in silence. My phone rings once and I let it go to voicemail. “You can get that,” she comments.

I shake my head. “If it’s important they’ll leave a message. I can always call them back.” Odette goes silent again, nothing but the melody of the music coming from the radio. Bowie James comes over the speaker and I can’t help but smile. His voice is still smooth, and I can already picture his flirtatious smirk on his face. I know he only has eyes for Hollis, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like to make girls drool over him. From one 80s hair band to the next, he follows us to the hotel. When we get there Odette hops out of the car at lightning speed. Her small stature should slow her down, you would think, but it doesn’t. She’s safely behind the doors of the hotel before I can even get out of the car. A few moments later Odin, Bazz, Slade, and Urban all show up to help unload. Onyx nudges her way next to Odin. “Make sure you do your homework as soon as you get inside.”

Odin rolls his eyes and huffs out a breath of air. “Okay…”

“I’m serious, no video game until it’s all done. Either Odette or I check it first, too,” she tells him, pointing her finger at him like a scolded child. Odin leaves with the rest of the guys giving him a hard time. Onyx turns around. “That goes for the rest of you too!”

“Oh man, you had to go and bring out the mom in her,” Bazz says just loud enough for us to hear him.

Onyx turns back around towards me. Her eyes zero in on me and I know I’m about to get an earful. “What happened with Odette?”

“What do you mean?” I ask. Maybe, I said it too quickly and made myself look guilty. I guess I am guilty.

She sighs and tightens the ponytail her mess of curls is currently in. “I know her. She looked like a wounded dog when she came in and announced she got Odin’s stuff back.”

I shrug my shoulders and try to play it off. “We went to Lyle’s and got the stuff, although most of her stuff was ruined by him throwing it into the pool. So then we went to lunch and then Finders Keepers and I bought her some new stuff to try and replace the stuff she lost.”

Onyx studies me. She doesn’t say a word and somehow her silence feels more deadly than a thousand angry words. “You like her.” She doesn’t ask, she simply states it like it is a fact. I nod my head. “Look, she’s not an easy one to get close to. Out of the two of us she is more closed off especially if she already cares.”

“I’m bad for her. My past is not what she needs to be mixed up in,” I admit to Onyx.

A small smile appears on her face. “It’s in your past right?” I nod my head yes. “Then why don’t you let Odette be the judge of that? She’s a big girl and can make her own decisions and she should be allowed to. You need to let her decide what she wants and not what you think is right for her. Odette hates that.” Onyx pats my shoulder before turning around and walking away.

Hours later and Onyx’s words are still spinning around in my head. I’ve been looking over the numbers for Zeke and the bed is calling my name, so I decide to take my laptop downstairs to finish up while making a cup of coffee. I set myself up at the long dining room table and get the coffee brewing before returning to the paperwork Zeke needs. I don’t know how long I’ve been working on this, but my eyes are heavy with exhaustion. I’ve hit the point where even coffee isn’t doing a trick anymore.

A small movement from the corner of my eye catches my attention. When I look up, Odette is trying to sneak away. I haven’t seen her since we got back. She didn’t have dinner with the rest of us, and afterwards I headed up to my room to start this. My body and mind once again finds itself at war but my body wins. I jump up from my seat and move so that I’m in the lobby/living room area. “You can come in here. I won’t bite.”

Odette stops walking and turns around, pulling a cardigan tightly. I fight off the smile that tries to break free at seeing her in the sweater. It’s one of the ones I bought her at Finders Keepers. A light cream-color with little olive-green leaves. For some reason it reminded me of her. “It’s okay.”

“Odette…” I sigh heavily.

She shakes her head; her eyes shine with moisture. “I don’t want to force you to be around a mistake.”

I scoff. “I never said you were a mistake.”

“Yes, you did. At the park. I heard you loud and clear.”

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