Page 17 of Barker

I feel my eyebrows shoot up into my hairline. “Excuse me?”

“Now you want to give me special treatment. Every racer pays the buy-in so they can race. I’m no different. I will be no different. I don’t need some special treatment or your damn charity. I’m not racing tonight and we aren’t doing this anymore either. I’m not some whore you can buy off,” she says, as she grabs some clothes and storms off into the bathroom. The slamming of the door is the final note that echoes and reverberates through every fiber of my being.

I stand there for a moment in complete shock. I have no clue how we went from being in her bed, kissing, and roaming over each other, to her being angry at me over trying to get her to race. I wasn’t skipping her buy-in because she kissed me, but if that’s how little she thinks of me, then so be it. My eyes roam around the room which is a disaster. You would think a girl as put together as Annistyn appears would have a clean room. Nope! Clothes are scattered everywhere. Makeup products cover the top of the vanity despite an organizer sitting to the side of the tabletop. Her school books are somewhat stacked in the corner of the floor with her backpack next to them. I’m surprised Augustus hasn’t destroyed them yet. It takes a moment but eventually I manage to grab my shirt and cut off her floor as well as the rest of my clothes before slipping them and my shoes back on. I leave, slamming the door for good measure and, head back down to my bike.

That right there was the cold water I needed. I knew there was a reason I didn’t do relationships, and that was just what I needed to knock my head back on straight. Girls, like Annistyn, seem different but in the end, they are all the same—too damn moody and dramatic. I rev the engine of my bike before peeling out of her parking lot and onto the street. In the moment of frustration and the need to escape, I don’t even bother looking for oncoming traffic. My mistake. I narrowly miss getting ran over and it would have been my fault because I was foolishly distracted. Distracted by the woman I told not even two hours ago it was fine to be distracting. I mutter a string of curses as I head home, determined to ignore the feelings I have for Annistyn at all costs.

****

I wait until the last minute to walk through the doors of Sinner’s Den for my shift tonight. I didn’t want to see Annistyn walk through the door looking as good as she normally did. I didn’t want to stare at her, but that was a foolish thought because it doesn’t matter who gets here first.

The minute I walk through the door, my eyes land on Annistyn. She’s at a table taking an order. Her hair is down and curled, makeup applied to perfection, and her outfit hugs her body in all the right places. I thought if she beat me here, I could somehow avoid the pull I have toward her—but I can’t.

She glances up and our eyes meet. I see the indecision in her eyes and as much as I want to walk over there, drag her to the back and make that look go away… I won’t. Annistyn is going to have to come to me this time. This has to be her decision. I kept thinking I could change her mind. That I could wash away that scared look in her eyes, but I can’t. So, instead of doing the one thing I want to, I break my stare by looking down before I cross the bar and take my place behind it.

The night crawls along. Despite the constant flow of customers and the races fixing to start, I can’t seem to make this night end. Being this close to Annistyn and not being able to have her is some new form of torture. It shouldn’t be. I did it before, but now knowing what it’s like to have her… the closest I’ve gotten to her is when she has to come to me to get drinks for her tables, and even that is beyond awkward. She barely meets my eyes while she waits for me. The minute she gets the drinks, she turns around and struts back out to the floor.

Talon taps the counter to pull my attention from my jumbled thoughts. “Shouldn’t you be outside? The races start in like ten minutes.”

“Shit! I lost track of time.”

Talon nods his head in that direction. “Go, I got this.”

“Thanks, man,” I tell him, as I rush around the bar and through the back door and into the alley. The cars are already lined up. Once I get into my Camaro, I get in the last position. Gunner waves at me from the sidelines. I spot my brothers and some of their girlfriends. I’m scanning the crowd the entire time I wait for my turn to race. I’ve been looking for Annistyn, but I know she’s not out here, but some silly part of me still held out hope that I’d spot her sultry green eyes and blonde hair on the sideline at least.

I move my car to the start line. Gripping the wheel, I look over at the car next to me and I know I’ll have no problem beating him. I rarely lose a race. The first race I lost in almost two years was to Annistyn. Apparently, I lose everything when it comes to Annistyn. Zoey walks out between the cars with the flag in her hand. She smirks before she raises the flag. I rev my engine, ready for the flag to drop, and as soon as it does, I’m gone. I don’t even bother to glance in the direction of the other car, because I’m going to win this. I have to win this. I need some kind of control back in my life.

Within the next moment, I’ve got all the control I could want. I’m in control of the wheel and how I maneuver my car. I’m in control of the amount of pressure placed on the accelerator. I accept the speed, the blur it creates, and the vibration as it runs through my body. My back becoming one with my seat all because of the speed I need to regain control in my life.

I cross the finish line with ease. Releasing the air I had been holding in my lungs, I step out of the car to become engulfed by people. Most of them are congratulating me. Once I’ve collected my money and made sure the rest has been given to the winners, I head back inside. I’m walking through the door with Drake and Zayde behind me when I stop dead in my tracks.

There, sitting at the bar, looking like sex on a stick is the last person I expected to ever see in my bar again. The whole reason I don’t do relationships anymore. The only reason Annistyn and what I feel for her scares the hell out of me. It’s because of this girl that I know how one-sided love can be. I know how tricky it is and I know that you never know what the other person is thinking. My ex, Giselle, is sitting there as if she belongs here, but we both know she doesn’t. “What the…?” I hear Drake ask behind me.

“My exact thought.”

Seventeen

Annistyn

This night sucked! That’s all I can think. When I arrived and Barker wasn’t already behind the bar at Sinner’s Den, I thought I might get by without having to deal with him. Without having to deal with these indescribable feelings I have for him and the guilt that has settled in my gut since earlier. I had snapped when I really shouldn’t have earlier. I mean, I really didn’t want special treatment from him because we had been kissing each other, but I probably could have handled the situation better. The thing is… it’s not easy to admit you don’t have the money to do something. I don’t expect someone like Barker to understand where I’m coming from financially, and I hate admitting my issues to other people; so when he kept pushing, I snapped. The other problem is, I owe him an apology, but I’m not very good at those either, so I’d rather just avoid him but that’s impossible.

My body doesn’t seem to understand that I don’t need a complication like Barker Tobin. Every time he’s around it’s like my body becomes hypersensitive to everything. Like tonight, the moment he walked through the door, I knew without even looking up. Every hair on my body stood up. Every nerve lit up like a firecracker on the fourth of July. So, even though I told myself not to look at him… I did.

Worst decision ever. The moment I met his eyes my heart slammed around inside my chest and emotion clogged my throat. It didn’t help that his eyes were unreadable. Barker turned away first and made his way to the bar, and that alone was enough to make my confident play waver. He had never looked away first before. Inside my chest, my heart lurched before tumbling down into the abyss and my lungs constricted almost to a painful level.

Working with Barker was only getting harder as the night went on. We only spoke when I needed drinks for a table. I could still feel his eyes on me from time to time, but it was different now. When he finally left me and Talon to look after the bar while he hosted and raced in the drag races in the alley, I took a deep breath of relief. I needed a break from him.

Barker had been outside dealing with the races for about half an hour when a girl walked through the door. She looked like a porn star with her raven black hair that was fake and too teased out for her own good, and her bust was blown up to her chin. Her clothes screamed ‘look at me’. Everything was skintight, too short, and too low with sky-high heels. Makeup coated every centimeter of her skin, and I was pretty sure her lips were as fake as her breasts. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and made her way to the bar stools. Most of the tables had fallen quiet, which made me think that they knew this girl. I hadn’t seen her, but there was definitely something that caused tension to fill the air.

Barker appeared a little later with Drake and Zayde right behind him, but the moment he saw the girl sitting at the bar’s counter, he stopped. I watched as his carefree face fell to one of anger and confusion and maybe even hurt. His eyes didn’t leave her once he finally decided to approach her. I watched shamelessly as she stood up and tried to hug him, but he stepped away. The glare in his eyes and the set of his jaw told me he wasn’t excited to see her. The girl looked up and batted her eyelashes at him while pouting her lips. It was a ridiculous move that I never understood why women did it. Finally, Barker shook his head and grabbed the girl by the elbow, not forcefully but just enough to get his point across, before walking her out of Sinner’s Den. Once he left, I finally made my way over to Talon, Zayde, and Drake. “Everything okay?” Talon asked.

Drake shook his head while he rubbed his beard he was attempting to grow and released a heavy sigh. “Doubt it. That’s Giselle. She’s Barker’s one and only girlfriend. She did a number on him and changed his entire outlook on relationships. I can’t believe she even had the audacity to show her face in here.”

Zayde shakes his head in disgust while digging out a cigarette from an almost empty pack. “She did nothing but use him. They moved here from Kentucky and the first look she got from some supposed Hollywood big-shot she was gone.”

“Damn,” Talon mutters. I look back at the door and can’t help but wonder what he ever saw in her. Then again, I guess it makes sense for a bad boy biker and racer to go for the porn star look alike. It was me that was the odd one for him to be into.

Zayde ended up finishing Barker’s shift. Barker never came back, but apparently he did call, and Zayde told Barker it was fine, not that I cared. Okay, so that’s bullshit. I totally cared even though I shouldn’t, and despite the fact that I didn’t want to. I tried to tell myself it didn’t matter what he was doing or who he was doing it with, but the gnawing at the pit of my stomach wouldn’t stop. The idea of his lips on hers or his hands on her skin made me fill with jealousy. The crazy thing is, I’m not a jealous person, so why did I care so damn much?

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