Page 36 of Barker

I take a deep breath and let Drake’s words sink into my brain. He makes sense and I did come here to fight for Barker. To tell him that I love him and hopefully he can find it within him to feel the same or at the very least forgive me. I scan the area, but I don’t see him. As I start walking, I spot Gunner and Paris and there in the middle of the group is Barker. I take a moment to appreciate him. He’s gotten a haircut, so it’s shorter at the top of the head now than what it was the last time I saw him in person. His dark denim jeans hug him in all the right places and the shade of olive green t-shirt he has on makes the color of his gray eyes more intense.

I start to walk forward when I notice the girl to the right of him places her hand on his chest. For a moment, he freezes and so do I. What is he going to do? Barker steps back and pulls her hand off his chest with a shake of his head. My heart sags in relief, but the nerves that suddenly take over my body are too much to bear. I turn on my heel and hurry away from him.

I’m a coward and I know it. I had a plan. I had a speech. I knew exactly how to get what I wanted, but now… I’m sitting on the back steps of the building, staring off into the empty field that is behind the actual clubhouse, away from Sinner’s Den and the party for Talon. The city of Los Angeles can almost be made out from back here. The moon and stars are brightly shining above, which should give me hope, but it doesn’t. At least, not until I hear the heavy footsteps behind me.

Thirty-One

Barker

I am aimlessly walking around between the groups of people that have gathered to celebrate Talon officially being a member of the club. I found him easily enough and was slightly shocked to see Landrey at his side. I wasn’t sure what that was all about, but I didn’t have the heart to care right now. I had assumed Annistyn would come with him and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been looking forward to that. Despite the awkwardness between us, every part of my heart, body, and soul wanted her. It looks for her everywhere I go. A huge part of me was quietly looking forward to tonight because I just knew she would be here; I would have bet money on it.

During Talon’s speech in the meeting today, I had decided to lay everything out on the line for Annistyn. We hadn’t really talked, aside from my daily texts to check on her, and it was long overdue. I was still upset, but I missed her more. My pride was hurt because she didn’t trust me enough to open up to me but the love I have for her outweighs my wounded pride that will eventually heal. Besides, she wasn’t the only one that had kept secrets. I had kept things from her too. We were both guilty of that and we both thought we were doing the right thing at the time.

I just keep walking around letting my feet move me forward without much thought, and before I realize it, I am behind the clubhouse and there is Annistyn sitting on the steps with a beer in her hand. She looks just like the angel I believed she was. I just drink her in for a moment. The sounds of the party behind me fade away and it’s just me and Annistyn.

She must hear me coming, because she looks over her shoulder and I notice her eyes widen at the sight of me. Seeing her right now makes my heart slam. I slowly start to make my way to her. Once I’m in front of her I ask, “Is this seat taken?”

She shakes her head. “No.”

I take a seat and her scent engulfs me. I breathe deeply. The silence that falls between us is so different from our normal. There is an underlying tension and uncertainty. I clear my throat. “So, how have you been?” I ask. Mentally, I kick myself. Really Barker? That’s the best you could come up with.

Annistyn doesn’t look my way. “I’ve been adjusting, but good otherwise.”

“That’s good.” The silence falls between us again. Annistyn’s heavy sigh is what reminds me of why I wanted to see her. “Listen, we should talk.”

Annistyn bites down on her bottom lip and shakes her head. “It’s okay, we really don’t have to.” She stands up and starts to walk away.

She really doesn’t love me like I thought she might. I think I wanted it so badly, I made myself think it was possible. I stand up. “That’s it? You’re just going to walk away?” I shout angrily. Add a freshly crumbling heart on top of my wounded pride and my anger will flare.

Annistyn stops, and when she turns around I see that fire in her eyes. “What else is there to do? You hate me because I’m related to Jerick and you know what, so be it! I can’t help who I’m related to. I didn’t ask for it.”

I shake my head because her words feel like they physically hit me. “You think I hate you?”

Annistyn rolls her eyes. “What am I supposed to think, Barker?”

“Darlin’ I have a lot of feelings for you, but hate ain’t one of them. I was angry with you for not telling me about Jerick. I was hurt because you didn’t consider me important enough to include me in that part of your life,” I tell her.

“Important enough? Barker, you became one of the most important people in my life, and that was with me fighting you and every damn feeling I had. I fought like hell to avoid it all, but I couldn’t.” Annistyn shakes her head and steps forward, and I swear she’s never been more beautiful. I have to fight back the laugh that bubbles up to the back of my throat. How often can I think she’s beautiful? Apparently, every damn time I see her. “You want to know why I didn’t tell you about Jerick? It’s because I was embarrassed and ashamed. Jerick isn’t exactly a stellar citizen. He’s not exactly someone to be proud of or brag about. I didn’t tell you because I didn't want you to think less of me. I didn’t want to see a change in your eyes when you look at me. I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t want to be connected to him or his actions.”

This girl really has no idea that she owns me, every last part of me. “Annistyn, you have to know I could never think less of you because of your brother. What he does has absolutely nothing to do with what you do or who you are. I could never see you as anything but this beautiful, intelligent, determined, independent, hot as hell, stubborn woman,” I tell her, as I close the distance between us. I take her face in between my hands and revel in the feel of her soft skin. Over the past week, I had wondered so many times if I would ever get to feel her again. I wondered if I’d ever look into these sage green eyes or kiss that bottom lip she loves to bite down on so much. “Annistyn, I could never see anyone or anything else but you. When I look around, you are all that I see. You own me, darlin’. Every last piece of me. I vowed I’d never fall in love and then you handed me my ass on a silver platter at my own race and got out of your car, mad as hell at me. When you drove off, you didn’t just win that race, you won my tattered heart. I love you, Annistyn.”

Tears slip down her cheeks and run onto the tips of my fingers where my hands are resting on her cheeks. “Barker,” she chokes out.

I shake my head to stop her. “I have some mistakes to own up to. First of all, you didn’t make all those tips. Talon and I came up with a plan to slip our tips in with yours. Neither of us wanted to see you working in some sleazy place like the Vixens and we both knew you needed the money, so we did what we thought we should.” I watch as Annistyn’s eyes flare with a little anger. I chuckle while tracing her cheekbone with my thumb. “Oh, there’s more. I also lied about why Gunner took your car. Jerick or one of his goons tagged your car. They had keyed your car with the word ‘slut’ down the side, so I called Gunner and had him take it to fix the car. I wanted to protect you from him and the hurt that word could cause. I had no right to do either, but I did them because I loved you—even if I didn’t know it then.”

Annistyn is silent for a moment. “I can’t believe you two! I could have managed on my own!”

I quickly silence her with my mouth. The startled gasp that escapes her gives me access to her mouth and I take it. When I finally pull back I tell her, “We both knew that, but what did it hurt for us to help you out?”

She sighs and looks down at the ground. “It’s so embarrassing. You knew all along how much debt I was in. It’s like I couldn’t manage being an adult and you pitied me.”

“Pitied you? I never once pitied you. I was in awe of you and everything you did for your dad and how well you balanced everything and never complained. Pity never entered my mind, darlin’,” I tell her.

Annistyn blushes and I love that look on her. I love so many things about her. “I came here to tell you something tonight, but I chickened out and ended up back here. I love you, Barker Tobin. You make me mad as hell, but even then, I still want you. And despite how angry and hurt you were this past week, you never really left me. You showed me I can rely on you and no matter how much I wanted to fight these feelings of love—I couldn’t, and trust me I tried,” she admits with a laugh.

Her words stun me. I knew I had fallen in love with her, and while I had entertained the idea of her loving me, when I found her back here alone and drinking, I really thought I had lost all hope. When she started to walk away from me, I thought that was it. I thought I had been wrong and she didn’t love me. “Barker,” Annistyn says quietly, pulling me from my thoughts.

“You love me?” I ask. I don’t even try to mask the sound of shock in my voice.

---