Page 39 of Fast Lane

Hours later and the place is actually swamped. People are all over the place. Kosi and Wyatt are signing people up for classes. There’s a line to meet Jaxx as well as Ace and Bowie who are also both kind of celebrities in their own way. It’s exciting to see all of this come to life. I get in line to get some food thinking Kosi is probably hungry. It takes longer than I expect but forty-five minutes later I head over to the sign-up table, but Kosi is gone. “Hey Wyatt, where’s Kosi?”

“She took a break,” he comments, then eyes the hamburgers in my hands.

I sit them down beside him. They’ll be cold if she takes too long to get back anyways. “Have at it my man,” I tease him. As I leave the sign-up table, I decide to head inside thinking that maybe Kosi is in the restroom. If she’s in here I can steal a kiss at least. When I step inside, the area hits me like a slap in the face, just like every time before. The sky mural with parachutes in the clouds brightens up the whole room. The buffed tile shines like a million bucks. Drake and his guys did a great job replacing the counters and changing light fixtures. This room gets to me for more than that, though. This was the spot where Kosi and I let our guards down and finally admitted what we had been trying to deny for years. Every time I look at the wall I think of her and that night with the paint.

After checking the restroom and not finding Kosi, I decide to look out back. When I glance out the window I see Kosi standing there against the building. She must have needed some peace and quiet. I open the door but instead of finding her in silence I hear a guy’s voice. “You look really good, Kosi.”

“Thanks,” she says quietly. She doesn’t seem that into the compliment which makes the caveman inside of me feel so much better. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been good. How about you?” It sounds like she’s just trying to be polite. I should turn around and go back inside because eavesdropping is the last thing I should be doing. I’m sure Kosi wouldn’t like it very much.

I turn to leave but the ginger colored hair catches the corner of my eye and causes me to stop and turn back around. Colby, Kosi’s ex-fiancé, is standing there. His eyes roam over her. Greedy and thirsty and it makes my skin boil. “I got engaged.”

Kosi sighs. “Yeah, I heard. Congratulations.”

“I heard you got a job offer at Sharp and Wester.”

Her head whips up. “How do you know about that?”

“I have my ways. I didn’t think you’d ever leave Los Angeles,” he comments. It throws my head into a tailspin.

She sighs. “I didn’t say I was.”

“Come on, Kosi, I know you better than anyone. You want the job. You’ll leave but it makes me sad.”

Colby steps closer to Kosi and my heart stops. “Why would that make you sad?”

“I miss you, Kosi,” he says. He leans in and I don’t stand there to wait to see how it ends. I turn around and go back inside. I think I hear my name, but I don’t stop to find out. The back door opens and Kosi comes rushing inside.

“Roscoe, stop.”

“Why? So you can keep lying to me some more?” I ask her as I whip around.

Kosi stops and steps back like I’ve hit her. “What are you talking about?”

“Your ex knows you’re apparently moving from Los Angeles, but I don’t?” The hurt I’ve been trying to ignore bubbles up in my gut. I really thought that she and I had something going. Foolish, is all I feel right now.

Kosi stares at me like I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I have. Maybe that’s the reason you should avoid all your emotions and attachments. This shit is ridiculous. “I don’t know how Colby knows. I’m just as shocked as you, but I was going to tell you. It’s why I asked if we could talk after today. I wanted to discuss the job offer with you. Get your opinion. I’ve never wanted to live anywhere but here, but San Francisco isn’t that far. We could make it work.”

It’s like all those bloody, slasher movies I like so much. She took the knife and gutted me. Right here in the room where it all started. For whatever reason I let my guard down with her and it was a foolish mistake, one I won’t make again. When I speak I sound calm, which is nowhere near what I feel right now. “You want my opinion?” Kosi stares at me for a long time, silence heavy between us, finally she nods her head. “Here’s my opinion. You should take the job. You should move to San Francisco. You have been wanting to get back into your desired field. Here’s your chance.”

“But… but… what about us?” she asks. Her voice shakes and it rips at the remainder of my heart, the part that’s still hanging on, but the thread is worn and barely there.

I shrug my shoulders and look away. The mural hurts to look at but I can’t look at the unshed tears in her eyes right now. This is a rock and a hard spot under the damn ocean. I'm drowning here and she has no idea, and I can’t show it. Kosi Scott is meant for so much. Kosi is meant for great things. I can’t hold her back. Kosi Scott is meant for so much but she’s not meant for me. “There is no us. It was fun while it lasted but the school is finished. You fulfilled your contract. You’re free to go.”

It’s silent except for the slightest of sniffle coming from Kosi ever so often. Still I avoid looking at her. I avoid going to her because if I do, if I touch her, I’ll ask her to stay and I can’t. She deserves to go. “I didn’t,” she says quietly.

Confusion hits me like a ton of bricks. “What?”

“I didn’t fulfill the contract.”

I hold my arms out to my sides. “What do you call this?”

She steps towards me, but instead of showing weakness and stepping away, no matter how badly I want to, my feet remain rooted in place. “We never watched Mulan.”

She remembered. I really wish I did have that memory to keep. Then again maybe it’s best if the memory of Kosi watching it doesn’t ruin my favorite Disney movie for me. “It’s like every other Disney movie. Girl finds her inner strength, gets the guy and everyone lives happily ever after. You know, the basic unrealistic shit.”

I can’t stand her any longer so I turn around and head for the front door. Air. I need air that isn’t filled with her intoxicating scent. A room that isn’t tainted by her memory. “I didn’t invite Colby. I didn’t know he’d be here.”

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