Page 8 of Fast Lane

“Perfect. Can you give me a call when the food gets here?” She nods her head and I make my way back out of the building. When I reach the back door I stop and turn back towards her. “Thank you, Kosi.” She seems shocked but I rush out the door before the moment is gone.

Seven

Kosi

The food arrives and I call Roscoe to let him know. A few minutes later Roscoe and Wyatt both show up, rushing through the back door. Apparently, they were hungry. I can’t help laughing at them. Roscoe grabs some paper plates from a room I haven’t been into and reappears, giving us each one. When he opens the pizza box I’m shocked to see it’s my favorite pizza toppings. I expected something basic like pepperoni. For a moment I just stare at the box. Hardly anyone remembers my favorite pizza. “I know you have to be hungry so grab you some pizza,” Roscoe encourages me.

I lean forward and grab a piece but there’s a weird, warm sensation in the middle of my chest. It’s caught me off guard. I eat quietly listening to Wyatt and Roscoe talk about something for one of the planes. After lunch is done the guys head back outside. I sit for a moment letting the pizza digest and search for a scrap piece of paper. As I look around the room my mind starts to build with the potential it has. I quickly start to jot down what needs the most attention. The list just doesn’t seem like enough so I grab another piece of paper and add a small sketch of what the area could look like with a few updates. I sit back and double check the list and sketch. Fully satisfied with them, I stand up and gather the trash. I’m not sure where the dumpsters are so I sit the trash bag by the back door then I finish up cleaning.

Roscoe has another class to teach and then we should all be done for the day. Throughout the afternoon I make a few more appointments. Roscoe comes back in, looking a little tired, just before I need to leave. “I bagged up the trash but I wasn’t sure where the dumpster was so I just left it by the back door.”

He smiles and I swear those twelve year old butterflies return into my stomach. Once upon a time I was hopelessly in love with him. It was ages ago but I did spend my time practicing his name and drawing hearts around it. Then again I also used to be in love with Nick Lachey. People grow up. Things change. The butterflies, though, blind side me. “Thanks. I’ll make sure it gets disposed of but you didn’t have to do that.” Roscoe looks around. “Did you do more cleaning?”

My shoulders shrug. “I just finished cleaning up. Most of it was already done. I also made the list you asked for.” Leaning forward I pick up the pieces of paper and hand them to him. The entire time I’m hyper aware of his eyes on me. The heat from his eyes causes heat to rise into my cheeks.

Roscoe takes the papers and looks down at them. His eyes widen a fraction before he looks back up at me. “Did you draw this?”

This is embarrassing. At the time when I was drawing the sketch it seemed like a good idea but now I’m not so sure. Insecurity rages into my mind and I look down. “It was just for fun. You can ignore it.”

He shakes his head vigorously. “This is good… like really good.”

“Oh.”

“Kosi, this is really, really good. Did you ever consider doing this for a career?” Roscoe asks. His voice is full of curiosity. At first I want to give him the prepared story I tell everyone when I get asked about my career but for some reason I can’t seem to lie to him right now.

I nod my head slowly. “I did actually. It was all I wanted to do when I was growing up. For years I jumped between fashion design and interior design. I even applied to some fashion institutes during my senior year of high school.”

Roscoe looks really shocked but seems to recover pretty quickly. “How in the hell did you end up in marketing? Being one of those corporate types. This is clearly your passion.”

Here’s where the conversation tends to get uncomfortable for me. “You’ve met my father. You’ve seen how he treats Rome and Jaxx. I didn’t want to disappoint him so I followed what he wanted for me.”

“Kosi…” he says on a sigh.

1I shake my head. “Don’t say my name like that. I don’t fully regret that decision. I liked marketing. I was great at it and I still got a little design in my life from it. Plus, my relationship with him isn’t strained like it is with my brothers. I’m thankful for that.”

“I get that. I’m not judging you for your decision. Also, I don’t doubt you rocked that job. It’s just who you are.” At his compliment I feel the blush rush to my cheeks. “It’s just… I hate the idea of you not doing what you want. This is amazing and in my opinion what you should be doing.”

Roscoe’s words actually mean a lot to me. More than he could possibly know. I shrug my shoulders, the weight of sadness and disappointment settling on them once again. “Instead, I’m neither a designer nor in marketing now… I’m a waitress. I’m a waitress who barely makes ends meet because I’m scared to touch my savings account.”

“Kosi,” Roscoe says again.

I shake my head trying to shake away the pity party I was throwing for myself. When I look up I see his eyes and the pity that is reflected in them and I cringe. That’s the look I hate. I got that look so many times after Colby and I broke up and then just a few months later when I got laid off from my job. That look is one I don’t handle well anymore. “It’s not a big deal.”

He looks uncertain, but before we can get any deeper into the subject or end up fighting about it I grab my purse. “Where are you going?”

“I have to get to my other job,” I tell him with a small smile.

“Well, let me pay you real quick.” Roscoe turns and heads into another part of the building when he comes back out he has his wallet in his hand. I shake my head and move towards the front door. I wanted to earn some extra money but this just seems wrong now. “Kosi?”

My hand is resting on the door handle and I look over my shoulder at him. “Don’t worry about it. I actually had a lot of fun and you got me lunch. We’ll call it even.”

“That wasn’t the deal, Kosi.”

I shrug my shoulders. “It is now.” Pulling open the door I rush out of it. When I get into my car my heart is racing. Something shifted for me today when it comes to Roscoe. The shift can bring nothing good.

Eight

Roscoe

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