Prologue
5 years ago
It was getting late, and I knew I needed to get home. Harlyn would be worried if she didn't at least hear from me soon. Plus, I figured she was dying for one of those Dairy Queen blizzards. Her cravings had become constant at this point. Only two more months left until we got to meet our little girl. Sometimes, I still found it hard to believe that I was going to be a father, but at least I'd had a hell of a role model growing up.
Sliding out from underneath the car I thought back to the first day I saw Harlyn Bexton in seventh grade. She was a new student and even though she was trying not to draw attention to herself, she was hard to miss with that medium brown hair, pale skin, rosy cheeks, gray eyes and full lips. I felt every nerve in my body stand on end when she looked at me. It had taken me a whole month just to speak to her. Axell and Bowie still give me hell over that.
That memory seems like yesterday, yet it was seven years ago. We survived middle school, high school, and Harlyn has managed two years of college. We're happily engaged and expecting, living in a small two-bedroom apartment, but its home. I could live anywhere, and it would be home as long as I had Harlyn. Sure, it had been hard since we found out she was pregnant. I was working at my family's body shop and bar while trying to save everything I could since Harlyn had to quit working, but we were making it. We were going to be okay because we always were, as long as we had each other we'd be okay.
No one plans on being a parent at 20 but I didn't worry because Harlyn was going to be a natural. Bowie popped his head inside the door, “Jagger!" he called out.
I sat up and looked at him, “Yeah?"
"It's getting pretty late. You might want to call it a night," he said before turning to head back over to the bar which was directly behind the body shop. I heard the door open again before Bowie's head reappeared, “Oh, and your phone has been going off like crazy. I keep hearing ‘I'll Be There for You’ by Bon Jovi every few minutes," he said tossing my phone to me.
Shoot! It was almost midnight, no wonder Harlyn was blowing my phone up. I bet she was worried sick. We didn't exactly live in the safest neighborhood, but most people knew not to mess with any of the James boys. I dashed to the sink to wash my hands, then grabbed my keys. Once I was in my car, I dialed Harlyn back to let her know I was on my way home.
"Jagger, I was so worried," I heard Harlyn sigh into the phone. My girl had a voice of an angel.
"Sorry angel, I got busy working on this 1967 Ford Eleanor GT and lost track of time. I'm heading to get your blizzard now then I'll be home."
"Don't worry about the blizzard I'm almost to the DQ now. I just couldn't wait any longer," she said, sounding apologetic but she had nothing to apologize for. I however, owed her an apology; she shouldn't be out this time of night, alone and pregnant in the neighborhood. I had to start paying better attention. “Jagger, wherever your mind is reel it back in. I'm fine, Harper is fine, we both just need our ice cream. We'll meet you back at home."
"Are you sure Harlyn?" I asked but I never got a response. Instead, I heard a scream, tires screeching, metal bowing and glass shattering before the phone went dead. My heart was in my throat as I sped up to get to where I thought Harlyn might be and sure enough there was her car, or what was left of it. A jacked-up Ford truck was lying on its side, but I didn't bother to even stop as I ran towards Harlyn but as I approached, I noticed she wasn't in the car.
I screamed her name over and over as I ran along the darkened side of the road. This curve had always been deadly, but I never feared it, not until tonight, not until I saw Harlyn lying about five feet away from the car, not moving, her body lying in an impossible position. Blood was everywhere, as I collapsed next to her, I felt her tiny neck for a pulse but got nothing. In that moment my entire world stopped spinning, that Jagger stopped existing. My heart shattered like that windshield, my mind bent like that metal and suddenly my voice was screeching like those tires. My whole life had just been taken in an instant. By the time the paramedics and cops arrived I was numb. As they zipped Harlyn and Harper up in that black body bag I felt the last part of me die. I went with them, my brothers had showed up by that time, but I wanted nothing from them, I wanted no one. The only one I wanted was gone.
That night had changed everything. I had fled from Los Angeles after the funeral and I hadn't returned, that was five years ago but my family needed me now. I was 25 now and it was time for me to grow up and be a man. That night, the loss of the two who meant the most to me, in this world the last five years, had changed me. I was no longer the I man that believed that love would make everything better. I no longer believed that one person could make everything okay.
Chapter 1
Londynn
I stare up at the large cream-colored mansion and suddenly my anxiety kicks back in full force. I take some deep breaths slowly and count to ten like I’ve been told to do over the past three months. I make my way up the steps from the taxi I had to take to return home. You would think one of my parents could have made time in their busy schedules to pick me up but nope, once again I was left to fend for myself. I guess I could have called Farrah but it’s still relatively early for her. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t see the sunlight until at least one in the afternoon. Then of course you’d think Ryce could have shown up considering he was my boyfriend, or at least he used to be, before. I didn’t even bother to tell Creed or Alivia that I was coming home today or otherwise they would have been there and made a big deal about it. I just couldn’t handle all that right now.
Closing the door behind me I stand in the foyer of the white sterile mansion I’m supposed to call home, but it’s never really been a home. Not in any real sense of the word anyways. Sure, I grew up here, I had a mom, dad, brother and sister but we had always lived our lives apart from one another. I spent most of my time with nannies until I was old enough to take care of myself which in my parent’s eyes was about ten. Thankfully, my parents had hired an older lady name Vivienne as the cook and main housekeeper. She had made it well known that she thought my parents were crazy for letting me and my siblings run around with no supervision or structure. She always made sure to stop and give us all a kiss or hug or kind word of encouragement. She had dried my tears more than once in my lifetime.
Vivienne was in her early 60’s when she started working for us but for me, she was like the mother I didn’t have. She wasa short, round lady with cheeks that always stayed a shade of pink. Her medium length gray hair was always worn up in a tight bun and kind blue eyes were always hidden behind her reading glasses. She never wore any jewelry except for her wedding band even though she was widowed, that had forced her to come out of retirement. She had been a teacher in her younger years, and she loved children that was a given. She even loved Duke, my brother, and he wasn’t the easiest to love. Vivienne had spent all the time she could here with us, teaching us, raising us but she was gone now. Just another thing to add to the list of what my life was before.
As I looked around at the tiled floor that was too shiny to be walked on, the overly white walls that could blind you when the sun from the sky lights above hit them just right, the exquisitechandelier that hung in the middle of the sky lights, the expensive paintings on the walls that were only there to showcase how much money my parents wanted people to believe they had. I dropped my luggage on the floor and listened to the echo in the silence of this house. Without Vivienne there was never a chance of this house ever becoming a home. Picking back up my luggage I passed the living room that was never lived in and the formal dining room that was only used to keep up appearances.
I go up the grand staircase and took the right side where they broke into two. The right side of the house was the, “Children's wing" as my parents referred to it as. Every door is closed up tight Duke and Farrah haven't been here in years, just me. I'm the youngest, the last hope to make the Parrish family name look good since Duke and Farrah didn't follow the plan, didn't conform to the expectations that had been held for them. Now I was the last hope, and I was faced with the fact that my life had been planned out for me since before I could speak. I didn't do well with the disappointed looks I received from my parentseven though they had never showed signs of love to me, I still yearned for it. For the first time in three months, I wished I was Farrah.
As I opened the door to the room, I called mine I wasn't shocked to see it hadn't changed. It still looked like no one ever used it. A bedroom in a magazine looked more inviting than mine did. I hadn't even been given a choice in my bedding or decor. Everything was pale pink with a princess feel, which I guess is what my parents thought of us as since the Parrish family was one of the richest families in Los Angeles aside from celebrities. I dropped my luggage onto the floor by the door as I make my way to the French doors on either side of my bed that lead out to the balcony.
I refuse to look at all the wall of shelves that had been added to the room once my parents realized I would be a champion in dance. All those trophies, medals and pictures would just cause that hole in my heart to open back up and swallow me whole. My anxiety attacks would set in again if I did. In the life I had been handed I never had to hurt for anything except for the freedom to make my own decisions.
My phone goes off and I see Alivia's name and picture bouncing around on the screen. I slide my finger across to answer it. Justin Bieber is blaring in the background, and I can hear Creed begging her to turn it down. Finally, Alivia's chipper voice comes over the phone. “Londynn? Are you there?"
"Yeah, I was just listening to you two bickering like an old married couple," I reply.
"We do not!" She says with her normal dramatic flair, but I guess that's to be expected from an aspiring actress.
"You do to but that's beside the point," I say sitting on my bed, careful not to wrinkle it. I shake my head at how idiotic of an idea that is.
Creed's deep voice comes over the line next. “Anyways, me and the wifey," I hear him laugh and Alivia gives an eww, “wanted to know what time you were being released so we could pick you up then we’re all going to lunch and the beach to celebrate."
I sigh, preparing for the backlash I'm about to get. “I'm already at home but we can still go to lunch and the beach."