Page 28 of Pedal to the Metal

We were out of food, so I really couldn’t avoid Jagger’s question anymore. Since were alone I moved the shades to the top of my head. I stare out over the city that I use to love and let my mind think back over the past month’s events. The last time I was here with Jagger I had two dreams, to be with him and to dance again but now I have none. I know he’s here right now, but it won’t last. He’ll get scared and run. I can’t blame him for that. If I were in his shoes, I would probably do the same thing.

Finally, I take a deep breath and turn to face him. I basically have nothing else left to lose at this point. “Shortly, after you left Farrah found out that ABA, the American Ballet Association was holding open auditions. I was reluctant at first mostly because I was holding on to the hope that you’d show back up here. Anyways I finally decided to go. I was packing when I realized that I didn’t have my lucky ballet shoes and practice outfit. It was midafternoon, so I figured I could go to my parents’ house undetected, run in and grab the stuff. When I pulled up the driveway was empty. I was in my room grabbing the items I came after when my mom appeared in my doorway.”

“She asked me what I was doing, and I told her about the audition and going to New York. She told me she was happy for me and that she’d let me go to the audition without another word if we could make a deal. My mom said that if I auditioned and made it that her and dad would help me pay for a place in New York until I could get established and they wouldn’t fight me on it. In her eyes me going to New York to dance was better than what Farrah is doing, even though Farrah is happy in her life. I knew that the offer sounded too good to be true, so I didn’t jump at the opportunity right away. I asked what happened if I didn’tmake it. She told me that if I didn’t make it, I would return to L.A. and move back home. I would go to the events they wanted, and I would appear happy and in love with Ryce. I wouldn’t argue or fight them over these events and during Christmas I would ecstatically accept Ryce’s proposal at the country clubs annual Christmas ball. “

I looked back over to the setting sun when it dawned on me that I’m always confessing something when I’m around Jagger. Aside from Farrah he was the only one I could open up to. Jagger was quiet until he cleared his throat, “So, what happened in New York?”

A harsh laugh escaped my mouth, “I clearly overestimated my talent for dance.” I shake my head in disgust with myself. “I had taken too much time off from it. My lines and technique weren’t what they used to be. Dance is fickle, it takes daily hard work and dedication to stay in the shape that’s necessary to dance professionally. I just didn’t have it anymore. The ABA put me on a waiting list because they said they could see my potential but there were too many others that were already prepared. I had to come home. Once I gathered my things from Farrah’s I moved back into my parent’s house, holding up my end of the bargain. It’s been far from easy but last night at that charity event I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t live in their world, going to all these lavish social events, plastering on fake smiles and pretending to be in love with a guy that cheats on me in darkened hallways.”

Jagger reaches over and takes one of my hands in his. “You shouldn’t have to settle for that life Londynn. You deserve to be treated like a queen because you should be in the eyes of the guy who loves you.”

I give him a small smile before I continue with the story. “I tried to leave the event. I was just going to walk until I could call Sadie, but I didn’t get away. Ryce heard me leaving. He chasedme down and forced me into his the car. I knew Ryce had a temper, but it had never gotten to this point before. Nothing I said or did got him to stop. It wasn’t until I gave up that he did. When he pulled away, I knew I had to do what Farrah did. I had to get away from it all. I had noticed Harlyn’s cross then and prayed for help and strength, then Ace pulled up and it was like a sign.” Jagger had gone very still and quiet since I mentioned Harlyn. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to open a wound.”

“You didn’t. I just always called her my angel and it looks like she still is. She watched out for the only other girl I could see myself being with. The girl I could actually settle down with and share a life with. Londynn," he said, taking my face in his hands and gently turning me to look at him. “I know I have a lot to make up for and to prove to you, but I will. I want to be the guy who saves you when you need it. I want to be the guy that you come to when you’re happy or sad. I want to be the one who treats you like the queen you are. If you’ll give me the chance, I’ll prove I can be that guy for you.”

I don’t know when, but tears had formed in my eyes and silently escaped. I just nodded my head yes. Jagger pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head. He was careful not to touch the side of my face that was beaten. “You should stay at our place for the time being. I’ll start looking for a place tomorrow.”

I pulled back and shook my head. “I’ll stay with y’all until Farrah gets back but I don’t think we should move in together. That’s too quick.”

“Okay, maybe you’re right but I’m still looking for my own place, so we’ll have more privacy, and you can stay whenever you want.”

I laughed, “Okay. Deal.”

****

Jagger

After Londynn had finished filling me in on what I had missed, and I had basically confessed I wanted her as my girlfriend. I’d pulled her into my arms, and we had sat on the blanket and watched as the sun set and the city lights started to appear. It was starting to get late when we decided to head home. “So, is there anything else I should know that you haven’t tried, food wise?”

She giggled, and I couldn’t stop my heart rate from speeding up. That sound was one of my favorites in the world, “There’s a lot I wasn’t allowed to eat.”

“Good to know.” We were in the car, almost to the house when I noticed Londynn had been uncharacteristically quiet. “Is something wrong?”

She sighs, “Well, I don’t have any of my stuff. I don’t have pj’s or clothes or personal products. Kynlee is supposed to bring me some more stuff tomorrow.”

“Well, we can go to Wal-Mart on the way home if you want.” I mentally cringed at myself after offering because I had my doubts about Londynn even knowing what a Wal-Mart was let alone been in one. She shook her head no and just stared at the window. We drove in an uncomfortable silence for a while before it dawned on me that I hadn’t seen her purse, her cell phone or anything else. “Londynn?” She turned to look at me while we were stopped at a red light. “Do you not want to go because you don’t have money on you?”

“I never got my purse out of Ryce’s car, and I don’t want to go to my parents right now because their probably home. I’m going to try and get Creed to take me tomorrow while their out.”

I turn the car at the next intersection and head towards the store. “We’ll go and get enough stuff for tonight and tomorrowyou can take my car, or I can go with you if you want and get your stuff from your parent’s.”

“You’d do that with me?” She asked sounding shocked.

“Of course. I wouldn’t want you to go by yourself in case Ryce was there. Besides you’ll need someone, so you can drive your car back if you’re bringing it.”

“I can pay you back tomorrow for whatever you spend tonight," she says quietly.

I laugh, “Absolutely not. I like to take care of my girl so I’m going to take care of you. It’s not a problem and you will not pay me back.” She started to argue but then decided against it.

****

When we finally got back to the house it was full of people. It looked like everyone was here then I remembered it was Sunday evening which meant it was family game/movie night. Family night was something we had done every Sunday for as long as I could remember. I wish I had thought of it before, so I could have given Londynn a warning, she may not be up for everyone considering everything she’s been through in the last twenty-four hours. “Sorry I forgot about Sunday evenings being family night," I tell her with an apologetic smile.

“Family night?” she asks but when I look at her, I notice the smile she has now is the kind that says she’s in awe of the thought.

“Yeah, every Sunday for as long as I can remember we all get together and have dinner and then play board games or watch a movie. You have a family night?” I ask her.

She shakes her head no then stops. “Well, when Vivienne came to work for us, she started doing this kind of thing with Farrah and I on Wednesday. She’d order us pizza and make popcorn; you know that kind that is covered is greasy butter? Then we’d pile into her small living room and watch one of thoseold movies. She had this thing about all the classics like Audrey Hepburn and Vivienne Leigh. Those were our family nights, but we never had one with our parents.”

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