Page 38 of Pedal to the Metal

Duke nods then Farrah asks, “What the hell happened to your lip?” He reaches up and rubs his lip almost like he’s forgotten it was busted. However, his knuckles look worse than his lip. They are busted and bruised. Farrah being Farrah doesn’t miss a beat, “Duke seriously what the hell?” she exclaims as she grabs his hand to examine it.

“It’s not a big deal," he says.

“Not a big deal, you’re kidding right?” Londynn asks him.

He sighs heavily. “I’ve been seeing this woman who turned out to be married, her husband found out. Trust me it’s not that bad. You should see him.”

Londynn pulls him in for a hug. “Oh Duke. When are you going to learn? You’re so much better than this.”

He laughs but I can see that her words hit a nerve. “Well, let’s get you unpacked.”

After a few hours and with the help of Creed, Ace, Bowie, Axell, Kynlee, Farrah, Londynn and I, the girls are officially moved into their new place. Everyone heads out to do whatever they had planned on doing to begin with while I go looking for Londynn. I find her lying in the floor looking up at the ceiling. I walk over and lay down beside her. Her slim hand slips into mine. “Thank you again Jagger. I was thinking, it’s late and I’m tired so would it be okay if I stay with you tonight? I can go shopping for furniture tomorrow.”

“That’s fine," I tell her. Even though something is really bothering me. She asked Duke to collect her stuff from her parents instead of just asking me to go with her. For some reason that kind of hurt even if I don’t want to admit it. It’s like she’s ashamed of me, almost like she doesn’t want to be seen with me in that part of her world. I’m in love with this girl but I have to wonder if I’ll ever be enough. I mean she asked her brother who she’s never seemed to close to over me.

Chapter 22

Londynn

Jagger and I had grabbed dinner before going back to his place. He had been pretty quiet, and I could tell something was really bothering him. He got this little line between his eyebrows whenever that happened. I wanted to ask him about it, but he didn’t seem too talkative, so I didn’t. It wasn’t until after our showers and we were lying in the bed in an uncomfortable silence that I decided to try and get him to talk to me. “Jagger?”

“Yeah.”

I take a deep breath and decide to jump head first. “I know something is bothering you, but I wish you would talk to me.”

He wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into his chest. I don’t stop him because in all honesty it’s where I want to be, but I also know it’s his way of avoiding the question. “I’m fine. I’m sorry if I made you feel like that.” It’s a lie. I know it’s a lie, but I let myself believe it for now. The minute I close my eyes I’m asleep.

****

I didn’t see Jagger at all yesterday. I had went shopping for the furniture, got it delivered then applied for a couple of jobs. Nothing major but until I could figure out how to start my own dance studio, I needed something to fill my time. They were just a couple small fashion boutiques, but I was kind of excited about the idea of getting my own job. My furniture had arrived late in the day, Farrah and Connor had helped me set everything up. Once everything was finished, I messaged Jagger, but he said he had to work late.

I was on my way to see Jagger this morning when I got a call from an unsaved number. Turns out I got one of the jobs. I wasecstatic. When I pulled into the parking lot of the body shop, I jumped out and jogged inside. I said hi to Bowie and Axell as I passed them. Finally, I found Jagger working on a custom paint job, I waited until he was done. Jagger noticed me as soon as he stepped out of the room. “Hey pretty girl.”

“Hey! I’ve got news!” I exclaim. He raises his eyebrows in question. “I got a job!”

“Really?” He asks but the shock in his voice hurts.

I scoff, “Is that so shocking?”

He shakes his head. “No, I just didn’t know you were looking.”

I roll my eyes out of bad habit. “Well, if we had talked yesterday, I would have told you but you seemed to be avoiding me.”

“I’m not avoiding you, Londynn. I had to work late, I told you that," he replies sounding exasperated.

“Yeah, I remember that excuse.” I mumble.

He runs a hand through his hair while sighing. “Please don’t start being difficult.”

“Well, I’m sorry if my wanting to be with you and share my news is being difficult. I’ll just go," I tell him as I turn around and head for my car.

Jagger’s hand grabs my arm before I make it two steps. “I never said you had to go.”

I watch as some internal battle wages behind those amber eyes of his. Whatever is happening right now is linked to whatever was bothering him the other night. I stand in silence for a minute to see if he’ll start talking but he doesn’t. Instantly my defenses go up. “No, you didn’t but to avoid the difficulty I figure it’s for the best," I tell him then yank my arm from his grip. As I walk back to my car, I refuse to look over my shoulder to see what he’s doing.

Once I’m in my car I find myself driving without really paying attention. Before I know it, I’m pulling into the cemetery. I park by Vivienne’s row and head over to her grave. Sometimes you just need to talk. I take a seat beside her. “I’m sorry I didn’t bring you any flowers," I tell her about New York and ABA, giving the life my parents wanted a chance, how Ryce and I had finally ended and how Jagger and I had become. I explained about moving out and getting a place with Farrah and how I had gotten a job. This was not how I saw today going. I had been so happy this morning and it changed so quickly.

“I don’t know what to do now. I want to be with him. Actually, I’ve never wanted anything more, but he won’t open up to me. I mean once in a blue moon I see a glimpse of him, he’ll let that guard down and let me in but then it’s like he realizes what he’s done, and hits reverse. You know, you used to tell me real love is confusing and complicated. I never got it when I was with Ryce, but I get it now. The races are tonight, and I know he’s going but if things are going to be like this then I don’t want to go, even for him. Is that horrible?” I ask Vivienne’s headstone. After a few more confessions I get up and dust myself off.

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