Page 47 of Pedal to the Metal

He sits up and runs his thumb over my jaw line, “You know I have a lot of new favorites.”

“Do you?” I ask trying to sound like I’m teasing instead of a breathless mess. Just the simple touch of his thumb has my stomach doing flips and my heart about to beat out of my chest.

He leans closer to me, and his voice drops into a husky whisper, “Yes, like I love the smell of flowers, daisies in particular. Coconut has become my favorite flavor. I really like little red fancy cars. Seeing the blush creep across your cheeks. Those long legs that go on for days. I even loveKings of Leon," I start laughing because I can’t actually picture Jagger listening to them. He’s so 80’s hair bands but I love that he loves them. He kisses each of my cheeks then my nose and finally my lips. When he pulls away, he tells me, “But my new favorite thing in the world is the sound of your laughter.” His hands fly to my sides and him tickling me mercilessly. My laughter is filling the small apartment. I fall back on the couch with the idea that I might be able to escape but instead he follows. I’m no pinned with no hope of escaping. Tears form in my eyes; my sides are achy and I can’t breathe from laughing so hard. Suddenly Jagger stops and looks me dead in the eyes, “That is my favorite.”

I look up at him while trying to catch my breath. “I love you Jagger James.”

“Lucky me. I love you too Londynn Parrish," he says before I reach up, wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him like crazy just like Farrah suggested.

****

Later that night I wake up next to Jagger. He’s actually asleep which must be a first. Normally I wake up and find him awake, unable to go to sleep. It’s a nice change I think as I study his face. He’s so unguarded and relaxed when he’s asleep. I trace the muscles of his chest and abdomen with my finger, careful notto wake him. I lay my head back on his chest. I’m almost asleep when the doorbell rings sending us both bolting straight up in bed. Jagger looks over at me, “What the hell?” I shrug. He’s out of bed and slipping on a pair of sleep pants before I even move. “Stay here.”

I wait until he’s out of the room then I scamper out of the bed and grab one of his t-shirts. I stand at the top of the stairs where I see Connor standing at his door. Connor looks worried and I’m guessing that Jagger senses it too because the muscles of his back are tense. “Jagger, I’m sorry we all tried to call but I think your phone’s dead.”

“It probably is. What’s wrong?”

I’ve almost reached Jagger when Connor lets out a long breath. “It’s Ace. There was a fight and he’s…he’s in the hospital.” Connor shakes his head. “It doesn’t look good.”

I can see the walls instantly fly up around Jagger. This is hurting him, but he’ll never admit it. Just when things seem to get on a good track something else happens. I know Jagger is going to push me away but I’m going to be there for him every step of the way. I don’t care what he says because when he looks back, he’ll remember that I was there.

****

Jagger

Tonight, had been so perfect until Connor had showed up to tell me about Ace. The instant he had said it my heart had fallen to my stomach. I love my brother. I knew he was difficult, and he caused a lot of shit, but he was still my brother. And even though there was no excuse for his ass like behavior I understood why he felt the need to behave that way. Most people didn’t even know the real Ace, they only knew his reputation. The real Ace was just the little nine-year-old boy who came home from school to read to his mom, only to find she had passed away and he never gotto say goodbye. Our mom had been his best friend and losing her had hurt him more than the rest of us. He was terrified of loving someone because he knew he ran the risk of losing them. He loved Kynlee, but he had refused to recognize or admit it and now he might never get the chance to.

After Connor left Londynn had pulled me back up to the room and helped get dressed then she quickly did the same. She ushered me back down the stairs to her car. She never said anything and neither did I, it was like the night that I had lost Harlyn and Harper, I was on autopilot. I was moving but I didn’t really know how. Now, I’m sitting in the passenger seat of Londynn’s car while she weaves in and out of traffic. I should tell her to be careful or slow down, but I don’t. Instead, I keep replaying what Ace had told me about how we were doomed in the love department and maybe he’s right.

Maybe, I’m fooling myself by thinking of a future with Londynn. Maybe, the James’ are meant to be alone or just always lose what they love. I glance at Londynn from the corner of my eye, and I know I can’t let what happened to Harlyn happen to her. If I am doomed, then I refuse to take her with me. She tells her car to call Sadie., “Hey, were about to pull up. I’m going to drop Jagger off up front the go park. Where does he need to go?” she asks.

“I’ll meet him outside," Sadie replies then hangs up.

Londynn pulls up in front of the doors and lets out a ragged breath. “Okay, I’m going to go park, then I’ll be in there.”

It’s now or never. “No.”

“What?” she asks.

I shake my head and stare blankly ahead because if I look at her and I see that hurt in her eyes I’ll cave. “I said no. I don’t want you here. I want you to go home. Now.”

“But Jagger…”

“No this is a family matter andyou’renot family.” With that I open the door and walk off to meet Sadie. I don’t look back to see what Londynn does because I know if I see those taillights what’s left of my heart will break. When I reach Sadie, she pulls me into her arms. “How is he?”

She shakes her head, “Not good but he’s in surgery.”

I start heading for the door and Sadie stops, “Aren’t we waiting for Londynn?”

Shaking my head, “No, she’s leaving. Why is he in surgery?”

Sadie looks like she wants to say something, but she keeps her mouth shut and I’m thankful because if I had to tell her why Londynn is leaving, she’ll probably slap me then give me her motherly like wisdom which will send me running in search of Londynn. “He got beat pretty badly and he was stabbed a few times. Once in the abdomen and twice in the lower back area. He lost a lot of blood before anyone found him.”

The anger that rolls through me is as bad or worse than when I first saw Londynn after Ryce had beaten her. I turn around in the silent hallway and punch the wall. Sadie quickly grabs my arm and examines my hand. “Did anyone see who did this?”

She shakes her head, “No but it had to be more than one because there’s no way just one guy could cause this much damage to Ace. You know him, he’s one hell of a fighter. You all are so I know it was more than one.”

“You’re right.” We continue down the hallways to the surgery waiting room where my brothers and Kynlee are waiting. When I walk in my brothers are on their feet hugging me. I walk over to Kynlee and sit next to her; she glances up at me. The beautiful girl I had first met is gone. Instead of her warm brown eyes they look hollow. The redness and puffiness surrounding them is enough to break anyone’s heart. She really does love my brother and it kills me to know that he loves her, but she may never get to hear him say that.

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