Page 54 of Pedal to the Metal

I stand there for a few moments, letting my brother’s words sink in. Before I know what I’m doing, I’m jogging out of the hospital to my car. The only thing on my mind is Londynn.

As pull up to Londynn’s place I’m surprised I feel nervous but then again, I’m actually facing my fear. I’m going to dive head first into all of these feelings. It’s almost like jumping into the ocean for me. I don’t know the depths of her feelings but I’m going to take this chance anyway. I see that both Londynn and Farrah are at home. I pause at the door for a minute, if I’m going to back out this is my last chance. Instead, I push the doorbell. After what seems like a lifetime Farrah finally answers the door. Her messy hair and red rimmed eyes catch me off guard, probably as much as I do standing on her doorstep if the tone of her voice is any indication. “Jagger?”

“Yeah," I say stuffing my hands in the pockets of my jacket. “Listen I know I’m probably the last person Londynn wants to see right now but I really need to see her and are you okay?”

Farrah’s eyes had gone wide at the mention of Londynn. “Jagger…I’m not sure how to tell you this.”

“Tell me what?”

I notice how it looks like Farrah is trying to look anywhere but where I’m standing. The air seems to thicken, and I can’t draw a good breath. “Londynn’s gone.”

I shake my head and whisper, “No.”

“I’m sorry Jagger. She got accepted off the waitlist to ABA and she wasn’t going to go but then when you didn’t show up she called an accepted. She stayed in bed for two solid days then she got up and started packing, kind of like a zombie but still.”

“She’s gone?” I ask her still trying to get over the shock of hearing that.

I notice the moisture in Farrah’s eyes. “She got on a plane about an hour ago.”

No, no, no, this wasn’t how this was supposed to be. I know I made mistakes and I told her to leave but she at least needed to know that I loved her before she left. I want to punch something because I’m so disgusted with myself. “She got into ABA?” Farrah nods in reply. “Well, that’s good.” I turn to leave but Farrah’s voice stops me.

“Do you want me to tell her you came by?” She asks.

I think about it for a minute. If Farrah does tell her I came here looking for her, then there’s a chance she’ll come back. God, I want her back, but if she comes back she’s giving up her dream come true. Can I be that selfish? No, I can’t so I tell Farrah. “No, don’t ever mention it.”

Chapter 30

Jagger

It’s been two months since Londynn left for New York. I miss her more every day. I guess maybe that saying about, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”is true. If it’s possible I love Londynn more now than before. I’m ashamed to admit that I stalk her social site pages, but she doesn’t post much of anything on there. My sheets finally lost her scent so in some desperate attempt I bought her perfume and sprayed them with it. It wasn’t the same. I’ve been avoiding everything and everyone aside from work.

It’s Friday and Pedal to the Metal is tonight but I haven’t went to one of those since I told Londynn to leave. I can’t imagine going there, seeing all those faces and knowing that hers won’t be amongst them. However, I know I need to go. People are already starting to talk, and I could use the money to add back into my savings since I dipped into that account to buy the building I had planned on making Londynn’s dance studio. I force myself off my couch and head upstairs.

By the time I’m dressed and heading for my car it’s almost time for the races to start. I punch in Bowie’s number, “Hey man!”

“Hey, do me a favor, buy me into the race. I’ll be there in ten minutes," I tell him.

He chuckles, “You got it little brother.”

The phone goes dead, and I concentrate on making my way in and out of traffic in order to make my ten-minute promise. To my luck I do make it and Axell was nice enough to place me in the next to last race. To my surprise though I’m racing Ryce. Even though Ryce and his friends had admitted they were guilty they didn’t see any jail time. Instead their families bought thema plea bargain that only required community service. I’d like nothing better than to beat him into a pulp but that would only land me in jail. Instead, I’ll beat his ass on the street, like always.

I’m heading back towards my car when I notice the honey color hair. For a minute my heart skips a beat but then I realize that glimpse is Duke Parrish, not Londynn. As I approach my car Duke extends his hand. In an effort to get him to leave I ignore it. “Okay, I see how it is.”

“Really?” I ask him.

He holds his hands up in defense. “Look, I may not have always been your biggest fan but all I ever wanted was for Londynn to be happy. Ironically, I think the happiest I ever saw her was with you but then Ryce happened and everything blew up.” He holds out his hand again but this time with some paperwork in it, something that looks like a plane ticket. “This is your way to get her back, plane ticket, her address and schedule.”

I shake my head at him. “Man, you Santa Monica kids really have some nerve. First of all, if I wanted to go after her I’d buy my own damn ticket. Second, I’m the one that told her to leave and third, she got her dream come true. So why don’t you take all that paperwork and stick it up your ass Duke.”

I’m just about to get into my car when Duke says, “You’re making a mistake.” With that he turns and leaves. I pull into position for the race but for some reason my mind will not focus. Well, actually I know the reason, it’s Duke. Seeing him and hearing him talk about Londynn threw me off. I turn the music up in my car in an attempt to drown out my thoughts, but nothing happens. By the time it’s my turn to race I’m a complete mess. Ryce gets out first and I can’t seem to get caught up.

When I finally cross the finish line I realize that I just did something I hadn’t done since I was seventeen years old. I lost a race.

****

Londynn

1 month later

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