Page 56 of Pedal to the Metal

I was standing on the balcony with a cup of hot tea in my hand when someone said my name, “Londynn?”

Turning around I see one of the girls from my rehearsal group, Savanna. She was one of the best dancers in our group and possibly within the whole company. “Yeah.”

“I wasn’t sure I had the right name," she says.

She’s trying to be nice because there is no way she’s been in our rehearsals and not heard my name. “It’s not shocking that you know my name considering it gets called every other minute.”

“It’s a hard transition but can I give you a word of advice. Well, more like an observation.” I think about this before agreeing. “It seems that your whole heart isn’t in to dancing. To be a professional dancer is tiring and it requires your constant dedication and your whole heart.”

I take a sip of my tea before turning to face her. “I thought this was what I wanted. When I was younger I dreamed of this day. I ate, slept and breathed dance. I fought my parents for years on becoming a professional dancer but then one night everything changed. When the dust finally settled after that night the girl I was…changed. Then I met someone, and my dreams changed even more, so you’re right my whole heart isn’t in this.”

Savanna gave me a huge smile and squeezed my hand in a reassuring way. I didn’t’ know why I had just told her all that but she felt safe. It felt like I had known her forever and I could tell her anything. Hell, I basically just had. I kind of hated the fact that I hadn’t gotten to know her better while I was here because she seemed like someone I could have been best friends with. She just had the calming air around her. It was comforting. Her brown eyes were warm and kind. “Well you have to follow your heart, life is too short for anything else.”

“Thank you, Savanna.”

She shrugs, “What are friends for.” She turns around and heads back inside. I guess in some ways we had just become friends. Now the question remained, where did my heart lead me?

****

Jagger

There was a permanent chill that had sat in the air that came along with the change of the season. Christmas was right around the corner, the local radio stations were constantly playing the seasonal music. It was currently filling the garage. Bowie and Ace had both just left after trying to convince me to go to the races tonight. They had finally given up because there was no way I was going to the races, especially after losing to Ryce last time. No, instead I’d just hide out in the garage and work on cars.

Santa Babycame on the radio, one of Londynn’s favorite Christmas songs. I remember her telling me about it one night while we lay in bed. She told me all about how she spent her holidays. She had spent all her time listening and singing along to the seasonal songs while helping Vivienne cook and bake. She had told me it was one of her favorite holidays. I had been looking forward to sharing it with her this year, for us to get atree and decorate it together but now…now there was nothing. She was in New York living her dream and I was stuck here in my own personal hell that I had created.

Sliding out from under the car I get up and changed the station to the local 80s rock station. That was better, I didn’t need any more reminders of Londynn then I already had. Between my run in with Duke at the races and always seeing Farrah it was hard enough to keep Londynn off my mind. Although the past month had been the hardest, ever since Patricia had showed up here one night, it had been a month, but it still felt like yesterday.

It had been late and the only thing that had tipped me off that someone had joined me was the sound of heels. I can’t lie, my heart sped up at that sound because I instantly had a hope that it would be Londynn. However, when I looked up I was beyond shocked to see an older version of Farrah. Patricia Parrish was standing in my garage, looking completely out of place. Her navy-blue pant suit and heels certainly didn’t fit in here. “Can I help you?”

“I hope so. Jagger James, correct?” I had simply nodded. “I was hoping that maybe you have heard from my daughter.”

I had contemplated giving her an answer before finally realizing that I should regardless of how I felt about her personally. Londynn was her daughter and she seemed genuinely concerned at the moment. “I haven’t spoken to Londynn since before she left.”

“Oh okay," she had replied, and she had sounded almost defeated.

“Are you alright?”

She shakes her head, “You were kind of my last hope. I haven’t heard from her since she moved.”

“Have you tried to call her?” I asked.

A sad smile appeared on her face. “Yes, but sadly our relationship wasn’t on the best terms when she left. I just wanted to check on her, make sure she’s happy.”

“No offense but I don’t recall you being very concerned about her happiness before.” I pointed out.

“None taken. I was concerned about her happiness, but my own misery had taken over my life at that point. Now that I have filed for a legal separation from Curtis I can see just how wrong I have been. Londynn had always followed her heart and I think a very selfish part of me was jealous that my daughter had found you. She had found a love that was unconditional, and she was willing to give up everything to follow her heart. I wasn’t that brave at her age. You made my daughter happy and even in my self-medicated state I could see that," she sighs before continuing. “I was actually very shocked to find out that my daughter had left for New Yok considering that she had you.”

I toss my rag on the hood of the car with a little more force than I had intended. “She didn’t. I’m sure you heard about the attack on my brother. I blamed myself and our relationship. I asked her to leave.”

“Oh…well I guess that makes sense. Londynn wouldn’t leave if she believed there was still a chance. Well, if you hear from here will you ask her to call me please?”

“Yes, I will," I reply to her.

Right before she exits she turns back to look at me. “My daughter loves you Jagger and I can’t imagine that has changed. You’re both very lucky to have found one another.”

Her words had haunted me ever since that night. “Love Bites”byDef Leppardcomes on the radio and I couldn’t help but feel like it explained my life right now. I was under the car when I heard the shop door shut. Sliding out from under the carI stood up while wiping my hands on my rag. Turning around I felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. That honey colored hair and deep hazel eyes left me shocked and breathless. Londynn. Londynn was here.

****

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