Page 8 of Pedal to the Metal

He chuckles, and I look over my shoulder at him, his eyes study my face but instead of making me uncomfortable it makes me feel something else, something unknown, but I like it. A thought occurs to me and I turn back to the jukebox and continue browsing until I see the band I was looking for. Of course, the juke box is full of all the classics and since the James boys owned JamesTown it made since that Whitesnake would be in the jukebox. I scroll through the songs and make my selection. Before the music starts playing I turn around and lean against the jukebox and lay my head to one side and smile.

“Now what’s that smile about?” he asks as his eyes study me again, trying to figure it out. The music starts, and he throws his head back in a laugh. “Really? You’re playing my favorite song?”

I shrug with my arms crossed over my chest. “I’d never heard the song and you know what they say curiosity killed the cat.” He bites his bottom lip for just a minute like he wants to say something but won’t. “Dance with me?” I ask holding out my hand.

He looks at my hand like I’m crazy but then shakes his head. “I can’t dance Londynn. I have no rhythm.”

“Well, lucky for you I’m an excellent teacher. Sixteen years of classes so just follow my lead," I tell him as I take his hand and pull him towards the dance floor. Once we reach the floorI take one of his hands and place it on my waist and take the other in my hand. “Now, just shuffle your feet to the beat of the music. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy.” He barely moves at first but as the music continues he becomes more comfortable and before I know it he’s pulled me closer to his body. His eyes have never left mine and I feel slightly lightheaded. I can feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes, and I can see the little beads of sweat forming on his neck from the heat inside the building. We dance until the song finishes and then we stop but he doesn’t release me, and I make no move to step away. It’s like it’s just us in this bar, on this dance floor. The sound of a glass dropping, and shattering knocks me back into reality. “See, you can dance," I say patting his chest in what is supposed to be a playful manner, but my voice is shaky and a little breathless.

Chapter 5

Jagger

After the song and dance had ended Londynn had practically ran away from me. It had been four days and it was still bothering me. I didn’t know what made that girl so hot and cold, but I was over it. It’d been four days since I had arrived back at my childhood home and I found myself falling into a routine. I’d wake up to the smell of breakfast being cooked, thanks to Sadie, my brothers, Sadie and I would all sit for breakfast. Sadie would then take off to work and drop Jovi off on her way. After breakfast I would shower then head over to the body shop to start work. We had actually been really busy which was great for us. Around lunch I’d stop and have lunch with Axell in JamesTown usually compliments of Farrah. Once we finished lunch we’d go back to work until it was time to pick up Jovi. At that time, I’d leave to pick up my little brother and we’d head for the gym. My baby brother needed to gain some muscle. I’d managed to become a pretty decent cook since living on my own, so I’d start dinner after another quick shower. The first day I had cooked dinner was last night and even though it went well, Sadie had been so surprised she’d cried. I just figured after spending eight plus hours in a rehab being a personal nurse for four patients every day the girl needed a break when she got home.

So, here I am once again cooking for my brothers, Sadie and Kynlee, yet I’m distracted because even though I keep telling myself I don’t care about Londynn she keeps invading my mind. That smile, that giggle, that smell, the softness of her skin against mine, those eyes. Those eyes that had lost their sparkle since I’d last seen her. It shouldn’t matter that the sparkle was gone but for whatever reason I wanted to know why it was gone. I wanted to fix it for her. Ace and Kynlee come into the kitcheninterrupting my train of thought but maybe I should thank them since they distracted me.

“Hey Jagger, need any help?” Kynlee offers.

“Nope, I’m all good. You just grab yourself a drink and have a seat, darling," I add a wink to really mess with my brother. I noticed his jaw clench which lets me know I’ve hit a nerve, but I doubt Kynlee caught it.

“Okay but if you need any help just holler, Ace is useless in a kitchen," she says in a joking manner, patting him on the chest.

“Among other things," I add, taking another dig at my brother. Kynlee saunters away and I catch Ace as he follows her. Ace likes her, more than he’s willing to admit and more than she realizes. “Can I give you some brotherly advice?” I ask.

He lets out a huff of air. “Please don’t.”

“Well, tough shit cause I’m going to anyway. Take it from me don’t let her get away. She clearly cares about you and I’m pretty sure you care about her however, I doubt she knows that.”

“Take it from you? The brother who got totally whipped then lost his mind and ran off when things took a turn? You don’t know anything about me or Kynlee," Ace says giving me a hard glare that would intimidate most people but not me.

Before I can reply Bowie steps into the doorway, leaning against it. “No, don’t take it from him but youcantake it from me.” Bowie meets Ace’s glare with one of his own and I see the pain that Bowie tries to hide in his eyes. He’s trying to tell our little brother that he doesn’t want that pain every day. Ace shakes his head and stalks off outside, pushing past Bowie mumbling something about needing a smoke.

After Ace is outside I turn back to the fajitas I’m making but Bowie makes no move to leave. “You doing okay, Bo?”

“Yeah, great as always," he tells me before grabbing a beer from the fridge and heading to the living room with Kynlee. Bowie is far from fine, he’ll never admit it, but he knowsjust as much or maybe even more about heartbreak than me. He had fallen in love with a girl from a few streets over. They had attended the same school since first grade, but it was one of those things, puberty hit, and everything changed. Unfortunately, she came from a pretty messed up family. Her dad was a notorious drug dealer and a bad deal had left her parents and brother dead. The only reason she had been spared was because she had been with Bowie. She had no living relatives that were willing to take her, so she was supposed to be placed in foster care, but she had packed up and ran away before that could happen. It had been ten years and Bowie had never loved another girl, had never had another serious relationship. He carried that broken heart everywhere. Maybe, he does know more about heartbreak than me because Harlyn didn’t choose to leave me and never come back but Hollis had.

After dinner I find myself outside, sitting under the tree in our yard. It’s already dark outside but I like the fresh air. Creed Eisenhower has lived next door to us for years, he comes walking out with a short Spanish girl. Her dark hair is pulled up into a ponytail and she’s dressed simple enough, but no one would ever forget Alivia Gomez. They’re talking as Creed walks Alivia to her car. “Alivia, do you really think Londynn is going to be okay?”

I see Alivia shrug, “I don’t know. It’s hard to tell, she’s the world’s best at keeping an image. I never knew she had it so bad before. I hope she’s okay but Ryce needs to leave her alone and her parents need to let her live her life and stop giving her their playbook.”

“Yeah, I couldn’t imagine my parents telling me what to major in, who to marry and when. I mean literally nothing is her decision," Creed says while opening Alivia’s car door.

“We’ll just keep an eye on her," Alivia says.

So maybe this was some of the reason Londynn’s eyes have lost that sparkle. I couldn’t imagine the type of life theywere describing either. It would be horrible. To not ever get to anything for yourself. However, that’s not Londynn’s entire secret, there’s more to it. I shouldn’t care but I do. I shake my head and head back into the house. Maybe, I need to go visit Harlyn tomorrow to try and get some perspective.

****

Londynn

Sunshine pouring through my room wakes me up. It’s early but I can’t go back to sleep, so I get up and head down for some breakfast. It’s been almost a week since I got home but I had yet to cross paths with my parents. Today I was not so lucky, sitting at the small kitchen table are my parents. As I enter my mom looks up from her tablet, “You really should make yourself look presentable before coming down, don’t you think?”

I guess it didn’t dawn on me that I needed to dress up to have breakfast with my parents. I shake my head because it seems like a ridiculous idea to me. This is the first time they’ve seen me since I got back and my mother’s first words to me are about my appearance and my father hasn’t even looked over or around his newspaper. I look down at my shorts and t-shirt, they aren’t that bad. It’s what I slept in so I guess it’s a little wrinkled but who do I need to impress. I grab a granola bar and bottle of water and head back to my room.

I watch my parents leave from the window in my room. The hollow, gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach is back. I feel just as lost and confused and unhappy as I did before. The only time since I got back that I’ve felt good or at least something close to it was the night of the races. Being with Jagger in his car and on the dancefloor had made me feel the happiest I had felt in a long time.

Ugh! I had to stop thinking about him. It was a waste of time. He’d never be accepted by my parents even if I did want to giveit a shot. Besides, I was sure Jagger saw me as nothing other than a one-night stand. I had never had one of those, but I didn’t exactly care to try it out either. It just wasn’t who I was. I didn’t have anything to do today until one, so my morning was clear. One thing was for sure I wasn’t staying in this house until then.

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