Page 12 of Breaking the Limits

“Don’t you know that you are the center of my attention, you don’t need to be anyone else’s? Do I not give you enough attention? Am I doing something wrong?”

I shake my head, “No Ace, as cliché as this sounds it’s not you, it really is me. I think you could give me all the attention in the world and I’d still need more.”

He whispers my name almost like a plea and it breaks my heart.

I sit there quietly afterwards, letting it all sink in for Ace. Silent tears stream down my face. After a few minutes I feel a warmth wrap around my hand, looking down I see Ace’s hand wrapped around mine. I look up into his blue eyes and see them rimmed in red almost as if he had been crying with me. I can’t…I just can’t keep it inside anymore, I broke. I grip his t-shirt in my hand and pull him toward me, burying my face in his chest, inhaling his spicy cologne. I can’t explain to him about how conflicted I am. I want and need him more than I had ever needed someone before in my life, but I also feel this need to have all eyes on me. It was almost like I needed the attention as much as I needed air. I needed to feel beautiful and I didn’t know any other way to feel like that without the attention.

His hands run over my back while he presses small kisses to the top of my head. He pulls my face away from his chest and stares at me, so intently that I know. I know what he wants to say. I know he can’t say it but I know he loves me. Neither of us can say the words but we can show it in our own way. I grab his perfect face between my hands and pull his mouth toward mine. Why couldn’t his love be enough to make me feel like enough?

Chapter 10

One Year Later

Ace

I stand in the doorway of my room watching to make sure Kynlee is asleep. Quietly, I make my way closer to her, while standing there I watch the steady rise and fall of her back and the flutter of her eyelids. She was just as beautiful when she sleeps as she is during the day. Sometimes I think she’s more beautiful in these moments. Her face clean of makeup, her incredibly long hair sprayed across her pillow, nothing but a simple black tank top. I had to resist the urge to reach out and stroke her cheek.

I make my way out of the room just as quietly as I had entered. Once I step outside I was hit the by the salty air coming from the ocean. Locking up the door I jog down to my car. I make the ten-minute drive to my childhood home where my brothers Axell, Bowie, Jovi, and Axell’s fiancé Sadie now lived. I’m shocked to see the porch light still on when I pull into the drive way.

I sit there for a moment studying the single-story house with white siding and two steps leading up to the teal door my mama had insisted on. I remember Jagger having to paint that after getting a speeding ticket. The big tree in the front yard shaded most of the house. The brick planter boxes that lined both sides of the front of the house, were added per my mom’s request by Bowie also as punishment for something or another. They were full of every color of daisy. This house held so many memories both happy and sad. It was so odd that something as materialistic as a house could be so engrained into your soul.

Getting out I make my way to the door and let myself in using my key. I hear hushed voices coming from the kitchen as I enter the living room I see Bowie and Axell sitting in the small kitchen at the table.

“What are you old dogs still doing awake? Ain’t it past your bedtime?” I ask, taking a seat next to Bowie.

Bowie slugs me in the shoulder, “Who the hell are you calling old?”

“We were just discussing Jagger. He called not too long ago. What brings you here so late?” Axell asks.

“Tomorrow is Kynlee’s birthday, so I went to that fancy little bakery she likes and ordered a dozen chocolate filled croissants for her. Sadie let me store them in y’alls fridge.”

Axell takes a drink of his beer. “Is that what’s in that little yellow box?”

“Yeah,” Bowie chuckles, and Axell mumbles damn under his breath. “What?” I ask.

“Axell tried to open the box earlier and Sadie gave him the look, you know the one she gives us when were about to get in trouble and threatened him,” Bowie says laughing.

“I knew I liked Sadie for a reason. So anyways why’d Jagger call?” I ask them.

Axell clears his throat. “Because he’s coming home this weekend.”

That shocked me because Jagger hadn’t come back home since he lost his fiancé, Harlyn and their unborn child, Harper, in a tragic car accident. It’d been five years and he hadn’t even come close to Los Angeles. He’d run away to Las Vegas and didn’t show any signs of returning, not even when our dad was sick or for his funeral. It kind of pissed me off but at the same time I could understand it, “To visit?”

Bowie shakes his head. “No, to live.”

My eyebrows rise in question. “He’s going to be staying in your old room until he finds his own place. I hope that’s okay?” Axell asks.

“Of course, it’ll be good to have him back,” I tell them while getting up and heading toward the fridge.

“That’s for damn sure. Lord knows we could use the extra set of hands,” Bowie comments. Axell shoots him a look of warning but not before I catch it.

I reach in and grab the yellow box for Kynlee. I knew they were shorthanded at the shop, but I didn’t realize they needed help that badly. Turning around I told them, “I didn’t realize you guys still needed help. I’ll start coming by when I’m off to help out.”

Axell stands up and grips my shoulder. “No, you will not. You have more than enough on your plate with Inkredible. We will manage at the shop, you work more than enough as is.”

About eight months ago I had opened my own tattoo and piercing shop. Axell was right, it kept me busy but not too busy to help them out. I knew better than to have this debate now so I just nod and say good night. It was close enough to midnight and I wanted to be at home with Kynlee by that time.

I head out the door and make the drive back to my apartment. Once I’m back inside, I grab some yellow candles from where I stashed them in the junk drawer in the kitchen last week. Placing them on top of a croissant I make my way back to our bedroom. A lot has changed over the last year. Kenndrix and Jaxx moved in together, Kynlee had gotten her own little studio, but it wasn’t in the best part of town. She more or less lives with me at this point. More of her belongings are here than at her place anyways. I climb into bed with the plate of croissants and wait for midnight.

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