Page 26 of Breaking the Limits

I mumble, “Yeah.” I usually tell Kenndrix everything but since I’m not going to take the music video job I don’t see any sense in telling her. That would just be something she’d have to worry about messing up on. “Anyways I just wanted to talk to you and tell you the good news.”

After that we said good bye and I got ready for my shift at work. I had to meet with Mr. Sobolak tomorrow in his office toget my schedule for the job. I was so excited I felt like maybe this was going to be the break I needed.

Chapter 18

Ace

It had been a long day of jumping back and forth between Inkredible and the body shop. After I closed up Inkredible I headed back over to help Bowie with Ms. Bader’s car. She was a single mother who worked two jobs to make ends meet. Bowie always worked on her car after hours so he wouldn’t get paid for it and Axell always, “charged” her the parts at cost but really, she just had an ongoing tab with us. She needed her car as soon as possible so I had texted Kynlee and told her I’d be home late. Bowie could use the help, maybe between the two of us we could finish it up tonight so she could have it in the morning.

As I was walking up to the shop I can hear the sounds of 80’s rock bands coming from inside. All of us had been born and raised on 80’s rock music, we were all named after them as well but I didn’t hold the same love for the era of music as my brothers. I listened to it but I liked the current rock music better. Making my way inside I realize how heavy everything felt.

I hadn’t let my mind think about what Kynlee had mumbled before she had fell asleep last night but as soon as I had left her and headed to work those words burned my brain. Her words mixed with Connor’s questions drug my mood down all day. When I entered the shop, Bowie looked up over the hood of Ms. Bader’s car. “Hey! Glad you made it. This car is worse than before.”

I shook my head as I grabbed a pair coveralls, “How is that possible?”

Bowie shrugs and continues to work. I start working beside him, we continue in silence for about an hour. “So, what’s bugging you?” Bowie asks. I raise my eyebrows in question at him. “Oh, come on! Something is on that artistic mind of yours.”

I stand up and wipe my hands off on a rag then turn around a face Bowie. Bowie is about an inch shorter than me but he has a lot more muscle than me. His biceps are covered in tattoos but we both have the same baby blue eyes and chocolate brown hair. Bowie can read people though. You can never bullshit him because he just knows. “Kynlee said something last night but I’m not even sure she knows she said it. It was right before she fell asleep.”

“Okay, what’d she say?” Bowie asks with a skeptical look on his face.

I take a deep breath and mumble, “I love you.”

Bowie’s eyes light up with amusement when I look back up, “what’s so damn funny?”

“You seem shocked,” Bowie says, and apparently my expression tells him more than I can. “Wait, you are shocked,” Bowie’s eyes change from knowing to surprise. “But why?”

“Because we don’t say that!” I say in an outburst.

He stands there in silence for a moment. “Like ever?” Bowie asks sounding more surprised than he had at first. I shake my head. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“No! Why would I be kidding you?”

He shakes his head before running his hand over his chin. “I just figured that as long as you two have been together that you two would have already hit this milestone.”

I shake my head, “We don’t say it.”

Bowie holds up his hands in surrender. “I get that. I was just assuming that you guys did…at least to each other.”

I just shake my head and turn to leave. “I need a break,” I say over my shoulder just as I open the door. I head straight for my car and rummage until I find the pack of cigarettes. I’m sitting off to the side at the worn picnic table when Bowie comes to join me.

We sit quietly for a moment before he clears his throat. “Look, I’m like the last person in the world who should give anyone relationship advice but I am your big brother so I’m going to try. Why haven’t you told her how you feel?”

“Because, I don’t know how I feel,” I answer sounding exasperated.

“That’s bullshit Ace and you know it. You love her. She loves you and no matter how long you wait to say that it won’t change that fact.” I glare at him before he continues. “Guess what? If you ever lose her it’s still going to rip your heart out and shred your soul rather you admit or not. You can’t fight love. You can try but you won’t win. It’s usually the things we don’t say that haunt us so my advice…admit it to your damn self and tell her how you feel,” Bowie tells me before he gets up and starts to make his way back towards the shop.

Bowie is about half way to the shop when I stand up from the table and holler, “What good did it do for you to tell Hollis?”

Even from my spot from the table I can see the flash of pain that crosses his face. “At least I know she knew. At least I didn’t lie to myself. I can hold on to the hope that on nights when she was alone that she knew that. I can sleep better at night knowing that much.” The frustration builds within me and the minute the shop door shuts I turn around and kick the table. Everyone makes love seem like it’s some great idea but it’s not. It messes you up. Who the hell wants to look the way Bowie just did when I mentioned Hollis?

I scrub at my face with my hands then stalk off toward my car. I need to be alone for a while.

****

Kynlee

Ace had been acting a little funny since our fight the other night. It wasn’t all the time but every now and then he’d seemdistant or lost in his own head. I wasn’t sure what was causing it and I didn’t want to bring it up if it was something he’d work through himself but it bothered me that I couldn’t help him with whatever issue he was having.

---