Page 27 of Breaking the Limits

Today, I had to put all the thoughts of Ace to the back of my mind because I had to meet with the designers of Wicked Little Things for a fitting then head over to Mr. Sobolak’s office to let him know I wouldn’t be taking the music video job. I dreaded that conversation. That one conversation could cost me my agent and possibly my career, but the stress that Enzo put on my life would only make things worse. Plus, it didn’t help that I had made the mistake of kissing him back at the audition.

No matter how many times I had told Enzo in the past when we had worked together that I wasn’t interested in him as more than a friend, he always found a way to try and make it more. Getting caught up that day at the audition had only given him false hope.

The fitting with Wicked Little Things went really well. I loved the designers and seamstress. They gushed about how I was perfect for the line and how no one else could do it justice. I left the fitting with three new friends and my confidence on an all-time high. I sent Ace a quick miss you text since I was feeling so good.

As I pull into the parking garage for Mr. Sobolak’s office I’m thankful for the extra boost of confidence. I need it. With every step I take my courage to tell him, I‘m not taking the music video job is wavering. I don’t want to lose my agent but I also really don’t want to do this music video. I need Mr. Sobolak to understand. If I tell him and he releases me then it will be so many steps back in my career.

I haven’t booked any jobs without an agent and granted Mr. Sobolak isn’t the best agent out there, he has been the only one to show any interest in me. I’d jumped at the opportunity to justsay that I had an agent even if it was with him. Since then I had booked a few jobs here and there and I didn’t doubt that Mr. Sobolak was right. If I’d bleach my hair and enlarge my breast some more, I’d get more jobs. However, I had made this promise to myself before coming to L.A. that I wasn’t going to lose who I was. No matter how badly I wanted this career I wouldn’t let the career change me. My dark hair was me, I had never wanted to be blonde and it certainly wouldn’t suit me.

Megan, Mr. Sobolak’s receptionist greeted me as I entered. Once I was seated she offered me something to drink but I declined. I feared that with the nerves in my stomach and liquid of any form would only make me nauseated. The ten minutes I sat in the waiting room seemed like much longer. Finally, Megan told me I could go in.

As I stood up I straightened out my baby pink dress, plastered on that smile and strutted like I had everything under control. I had faked my confidence for so long that sometimes even I believed it. When I entered Mr. Sobolak turned around in his chair to face me, throwing his hands into the air, “There’s my prized model, Kynlee.”

Chapter 18

Kynlee

As I sat in the parking lot of the set where the music video would be filmed, I let myself throw the pity-party I was wanting. My emotions were a wreck. I was so torn from all of this. I replayed the conversation I’d had with Mr. Sobolak.

“There’s my prized model, Kynlee.”

That light in his eyes made me feel guilty about the conversation I was here to have. “Good morning Mr. Sobolak.”

The forty-something-year-old man with thinning strawberry blonde hair and an expanding waist line motioned towards the chairs seated in front of his oak desk. “Please have a seat. I just have to finish this up then we’ll chat.”

I take a seat and try to calm my screaming nerves. Mr. Sobolak finishes up with his phone call then removes his ear piece. He turns to face me; his dark brown eyes always look like he’s smiling. “So, what brings you in today?”

Taking a deep breath, I meet his eyes. “I just met with the designers of Wicked Little Things. It’s going to be a great pairing I think. Their line is fun, unique and everything a girl my age wants. I’m very excited to work with them. I just wanted to start by thanking you for getting me a go see with them.”

His face beams with delight. “Of course! It was my pleasure and it also wasn’t without some selfishness on my side,” he says with a big laugh. Once he calms down he says, “If you’re this excited for the lingerie line I bet you’ll be jumping out of your seat tomorrow when the video starts filming.”

It was now or never. “Well that’s actually the other reason I wanted to come here and speak with you today.” His eyebrows raise in question and I just spit it out before I lose my courage. “While I appreciate the opportunity of the music video. I justdon’t feel like it’s going to be a good fit for me so I’d like to pass on the job.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry Mr. Sobolak. I know you’ve worked really hard to get my career going, but I’m just uncomfortable with the video,” I explain.

He takes a huff of breath. “Kynlee you do understand the purpose of my job, right?” I just nod feeling my mouth go dry. “Okay, then you understand that it’s my job to get you gigs, whatever they may be and by doing so that is how I make my living.”

“I understand that and like I said I am sorry,” I apologize quietly.

Mr. Sobolak stands up, walks around the desk, and leans back against his desk while crossing his arms. “And I’m sorry Kynlee but I found you two jobs that are the type of things you are looking for out of your career, but now you are sitting here telling me that you can’t do a job. That means that I’m not making money either. As much as I like you Kynlee, I like money more.”

I take a deep breath, “I understand but…”

Mr. Sobolak raises a hand to stop me. “I’m going to put this as nicely as possible. You will do both jobs Kynlee.”

“And if I don’t?” I ask meekly.

He shakes his head for a moment. “Then I’m afraid I will no longer be able to be your agent. If you don’t show up tomorrow then I will represent you through your contract with Wicked Little Things but I’m afraid that’ll be it,” he tells me, then turns back around toward his desk, dismissing me.

I get up on shaky legs and move toward the door. My throat feels like I tried to eat cotton and my heart is about to beat out of my chest. My whole career was on the line. Not that I hadmuch of a career yet but I felt like I was finally getting my feet underneath me.

The beach is mostly empty since it’s mid-day on a weekday. This beach doesn’t get full until after normal working hours. There are a few stragglers but for the most part I have the place to myself. I watch as a younger looking boy with shoulder length blonde hair surfs the waves. Tomorrow this place will look totally different. It will be packed with a filming crew, Royal Eternity, and I’m sure some of their screaming fans.

Tomorrow they’ll start shooting the video and this is the place it will kick off. I’m expected to be here or else. I just can’t wrap my hand around it. As much as I want to be a model I’m not sure it’s worth all of this anymore. If the past year has proven anything to me it’s that maybe this isn’t the career for me. I’ve only managed to get a handful of jobs, none of them worthy of any recognition really. These two jobs can be the game changers I need but then again what if they aren’t? I did an ad campaign a few months ago that everyone was sure would be the big break and it wasn’t. Was risking my relationship with Ace worth a possible break in my career? Was shooting this video and stepping so far outside of my comfort zone that I may never find it again worth it?

I get out of the car and walk toward the railing that separates the parking lot from the sand. I lean over it while I let the salty breeze fill my senses. The only thing I know for sure is that I have less than twenty-four hours to try and fix this. Only problem is there is only one way I can think to try and fix it.

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