Page 42 of Breaking the Limits

She shrugs, “I did, for a lot of years that’s all I wanted to do. Up until I became an attention digging whore. I don’t like who that makes me so starting in a couple of months I’ll officially be a student at UCLA.”

“I’m so proud of you,” I tell her, while I pull her into my chest and kiss the top of her head. Three little words almost slip out but instead, “So I’m going to be dating a college girl now?”

She pulls back to look at me and gives me a questioning look, “Yeah…”

I smirk at her. “That’s hot.” She slaps my shoulder and starts laughing. “I can’t help it! I always wanted to date a college girl,” I tell her, as she climbs off my lap and goes to the kitchen.

****

A few days later Jagger shows up at Inkredible beaming. “What the hell made you glow in the dark?” I ask him.

He nods his head while he rubs his chin. “I don’t know, maybe because I’m getting married.” I had been looking at some paperwork but my head whips up. Did he just say what I think he just said? I knew him and Londynn had finally gotten back to a good spot after a few months of being separated but I had no idea he was considering getting married. “You look shocked?”

I nod my head slowly, “Yeah, seems to be my theme this week. I didn’t know you wanted to try and get married again?”

“Again? You do know I never got to get married last time, right? Just engaged,” I nod my head, “You know I’m telling you first.”

“Why?”

Jagger takes a seat across from me. “For a few reasons. One, because I feel like our relationship is different from what I havewith the rest. I don’t know if it’s because I shared a bedroom with you growing up so I remember how haunted you were after mom’s death or maybe it’s because when I look at you, I still see my nine-year-old baby brother who’s heartbroken and scared shitless. Or maybe it’s because of what you told me the other day, you know when you said we were doomed?” I don’t reply, I don’t nod my head I just sit there and stare at him because all the air just left my lungs. “I wanted to tell you first because we’re not doomed Ace. I wanted to tell you first because maybe I love you a little more and yes, I just said that big scary ‘L’ word. I wanted to tell you first because I don’t want you to be scared anymore.”

We sit there for a while both of us just staring at one another, Jagger lost in thoughts while his words sink into mine. Finally, I clear my throat, “What about Harlyn and Harper?”

Jagger shakes his head, “Ace, I wish I could make you see that love isn’t so scary, isn’t always so sad and full of heartbreak. I’ll always love Harlyn and Harper, but for reasons I’ll never be able to understand they were taken from me and that ripped my heart out, gutted me to my damn core. I won’t lie to you and me sure as hell won’t sugar coat it. Losing them, losing that future nearly killed me, but Londynn came into my life and she sewed up those pieces that were still bleeding. Loving Londynn, marrying Londynn doesn’t make Harlyn and Harper any less important, it doesn’t lessen the love I have for them but I can move on. Harlyn would have wanted that for me.”

“How do you know that?” I ask him quietly.

“Because I would have wanted that for her if I had been the one to go. Because that’s what you want for the people you love. You want them to live and love,” Jagger stands up and as he walks past me, he stops and places a hand on my shoulder. “It’s what mom would have wanted for all of us,especiallyyou.”

I sit there unable to move. His words remind me so much of that odd dream I had while I was in the hospital. My mindis racing and images of Kynlee keep flying around. Can I love Kynlee and still be me? Can I say I love her and handle the heartbreak if she doesn’t feel the same?

Chapter 28

Ace

My pocket feels so heavy right now, but I know in my gut and heart this is the right thing to do. It had been a couple of weeks since Jagger and Londynn told us they were engaged and last night Sadie had thrown a small engagement party for them. I had watched Kynlee all night. It was like I was seeing her for the first time all over again. Her laughter was all I had heard and I saw it in her eyes. The way she had stared at Londynn’s ring.

Jagger’s words had been bouncing around in my head for the past couple of weeks too. No matter what I did or how I tried to push them away they just wouldn’t budge. So, last week I had gone to the store and picked out a ring. I got to it pick up this morning after having it sized for Kynlee. This weekend I would do the one thing I never thought I’d do. I’d get down on one knee, tell Kyn I love her then ask her the most important question of my life.

My heart feels lighter than it ever has as I get out of the car and make my way into the shop. I step inside and flip on the lights. When I step forward, I hear something, like rustling paper. I look down and see a magazine has been shoved through the mail slot. Must have had the wrong address because I know damn well that none of us in this shop subscribe to these dumb gossip mags. I’m about to toss it when something catches my eyes.

I open up the bent cover and it’s like someone just sucker punches me right in the gut. So many emotions fly through my body at one time, anger, jealously, disappointment, but the heartbreak. The heartbreak I had tried to protect myself from all my life is the worst. I try to take a deep breath but my lungs refuse. My heart which had felt so light just a few moments ago is now lying on the floor. Just like Jagger said it’s been ripped outthe only problem is the only one who can sew mine back together is the one who just ripped it out.

****

Kynlee

Ace had just left not too long ago, and I had just fallen back asleep when my phone started ringing. I groan and pull Ace’s pillow over my head in a failed attempt to drown out the noise. Finally, I give up and pick up the phone. I don’t even get to say hello before Kenndrix starts yelling into the phone. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“Excuse me?”

Kenndrix huffs into the phone. “Don’t play dumb Kyn! I knew you kissed Enzo at the audition, but when the hell did you kiss him at a beach?”

I sit straight up in bed. “What are you talking about? How did you know about that?”

“It’s all over the damn place Kyn! It’s on the internet and magazines. There’s even an article that says you were spotted at his house a few weeks ago. Please tell me this crap is all lies and that other picture is photo shopped.”

My stomach rolls with nausea, a cold sweat covers my skin and my heart just stops beating. This can’t be happening. Why now? “I have to go,” I manage to croak out. My hands are shaking so badly that I pass the number I need three times before I manage to hit it. As soon as he picks up the phone, “How could you do this?”

---