Page 2 of Feeling Blue

“How can I fix it?”

Forever’s mind went blank as she lay in his arms, staring up at his face. She’d been so in love with that face at one point. Wanted to live and breathe in that face and still did, sometimes in her inside voice, but out loud where it counted, she was done with him. Marcellus nearly hurt her beyond repair, and it had taken every ounce of strength she had and an overwhelming amount from God to get her through it.

“You can’t. Leave me alone.”

Forever tried once again to get out of his lap, but he held her tighter. Before long, she and Marcellus were participating in a full tug of war with her body, her trying to move and him desperately trying to make her stay. When she could do nothing else to make him free her, she began kicking and screaming wildly. Forever kicked so hard that she ended up falling with a loud thud to the floor.

“Oh, my god!” Forever yelped with her hands hitting the floor to catch herself.

In a haste to catch her breath and make sense of what was going on, Forever rose to her knees and leaned over the side of her bed. With her eyes still squinted in confusion, she circled her room slowly until it all made sense. She’d been dreaming. A wave of relief covered her as she wiped her hand over her forehead before allowing it to drop onto the bed.

“Thank you, Jesus,” she sighed to herself with closed lids.

Even with her heart still beating wildly in her chest, Forever was thankful that it had all been in her head. She’d come too far and done too much to allow Marcellus and his conniving self back into her space. It had taken months of prayer, fasting, and even burning sage to rid her life of him, only for him to try to pry his way back through her subconscious state. Not happening!

“Lord, I know these nightmares are stress, or maybe they’re not, but I know whatever it is, you can heal me and fix it. I want to be at my best. I have to be at my best, so please touch my heart. Hear the prayers I’m unable to say, but need you to acknowledge. He’s in the past, God, and you’ve blessed me anew, and I’m grateful for it. I want him. The new him. The one that wants me back. Jesus, make me good for him, and him for me. You made us both, so you know more than anyone what we both need in order to be right for one another. Please, God, please. I love you more than this universe you’ve created. Amen.”

Forever lay on the side of the bed for a few more minutes before pulling herself to her feet and trekking toward the bathroom. As she stood staring at her reflection in the mirror, she questioned herself and everything she’d ever known. Was she really ready for this? Ready for a new love, a new life, a new man? Her head dropped as she exhaled with rolling eyes.

“Yes, Forever, you are. Get it together.” She pepped herself up some more before turning and heading for the shower.

By the time she finished and was dressed to leave, she looked around the guest room once more to make sure everything was in place and nothing she needed had been left behind. When she was sure she had it all, she joined her sister, Goody, and brother-in-law Jerrico in the kitchen. Like the lovers they were, they were directly in each other’s faces, giving not an ounce of personal space.

Goody, seated on a bar stool near the table he was standing at. The large knife hung loosely from his hand, dripping with fruit juice, as he fed a piece of pineapple to her sister.

“Umm,” she moaned seductively while sucking his fingers deeper into her mouth. “That’s so sweet.”

“Like you,” Jerrico told her as he pecked her forehead and pulled his finger from her mouth. “Want more?”

“I always want more.”

The daring smirk on her face said that themoreshe wanted had absolutely nothing to do with the pineapple she’d been given, and everything to do with the love they constantly made. That Forever knew for sure. She’d been occupying their guest room for the past month, and sex was at an all-time high in their household. Though they were newlyweds, there was no way in the sane world that there was that much sex to be had.

“Y’all, please don’t start. We have to go.”

Her sister’s goofy grin said everything her mouth didn’t, while Jerrico gave a casual smile before pushing the tray of freshly sliced fruit toward her. Next to it was a bowl of yogurt and granola.

“Brain food.”

Forever’s mouth watered at the sight of the light breakfast. It was what she needed. On top of her nerves nearly shaking her to death, her stomach was too jittery to have anything heavy.

“Figured you couldn’t stomach too much today.”

“I see why my sister loves you so much,” Forever told him while taking her seat at the table. “You’re so perfect.”

“Yeah, he is. Perfect and fine, bitch. Perfect and muthafucking fine,” Goody openly lusted over her husband. “Jerrico, can you get me pregnant again? You so fine it makes me wanna fuck and have your babies.”

Jerrico and Forever both laughed at her bluntness. It was typical Goody, and as much as she didn’t understand it, Jerrico loved that filthy mouth. With him being so mild-mannered and soft spoken, one would never know that he was madly in love with a female rapper who cursed more than the law should allow.

“You wanna have my baby, Paradise?” The sexual tease that accompanied Jerrico’s words had Forever squeezing her thighs together.

As sexy as he sounded, saying that she wanted her sister to have his baby too.Damn!Already hanging on by a thread, Forever looked at her bowl of food to distract her from what she knew was about to happen in front of her. It never failed. Her nasty sister would start, he’d fall for it, and Goody, being Goody, would take it too far. Further than Forever’s sex-deprived body could take that morning.

“Hell yeah, on the second round. I wanna spend the first one sucking dick while you ask me that again.”

Forever watched Goody stand from her chair and walk to Jerrico like a bitch in heat. As soon as she was close to him, he grabbed her up and carried her down the hall.

“Forever, we’ll be back!”

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