Page 29 of Feeling Blue

“My baby is so special.”

Zebrina drank from her Sprite. “I’m convinced they all are. It has to be the gang stuff.”

“How do y’all deal with that?” Forever looked around at all of them. “I mean, I don’t even know how to approach it. I don’t know what to say or what not to say. I mean, I’m a lawyer, so I know the legal side of it, but being the girlfriend or whatever, not so much. I feel stupid every time I have to call my sister and cousin to get help on how to talk to my man.”

Azayna and Nova giggled while Zebrina rendered her an empathetic look. “These two right here are from the streets like their men, so they don’t understand, but I do. I was in medical school when I met BB, fresh out of a two-parent home, spoiled only child, and green to everything that wasn’t lacrosse and private schools. Being with BB changed my entire world, but he made it easy. He’s so patient and understanding with me, he doesn’t judge my ignorance or condemn my upbringing when we don’t agree, and above all, he respects my mind. He doesn’t force his lifestyle on me or make me feel inferior to it. He just lets mebe me, educating me along the way, allowing me the opportunity to give different insight on things, slip ups whenever they occur. I think Blue will do you the same way if you just explain it to him.”

“She doesn’t even have to explain it to him. Blue’s going to do everything Breen just said BB does for her. Outside of Blue’s silly personality, he and BB are a lot alike. They’re both really quiet, sticks to themselves, and are the most patient and attentive men I’ve ever met. Not even Egypt is as patient and attentive to me as BB is to Zebrina or Blue was to me the short time we hung out. I think those two qualities alone will make for a good relationship. Don’t get me wrong, he loves his gang, but you’re going to come first to it. I can see that now. You see how hard he grilled me just to let you sit with us.”

Forever giggled. “He’s just scared I’m going to embarrass him. He keeps saying I’m white.”

They all laughed, with Azayna talking through hers.

“You are, but so what? So was Zebrina.”

“She’s right. I was probably worse than you. I didn’t have a sister or cousin to call. All I had was my bestie and my man.”

“Blue is a jokester, Forever, so don’t take that to heart. He’s only kidding.”

“I know,” she nodded with a smile. “I just want to make sure I’m what he needs, ya know? I don’t always feel like his equal.”

“Girl! You are me!” Zebrina waved her hands wildly. “I was the same way. People used to clown me like, how are you about to be a doctor, worried about not being good enough for a gang member?” she giggled. “But BB is one of one. I had to be top tier to be his.”

“Oh my god, yes!” Forever squealed a little more hyper now that she’d found somebody who understood her struggles. “I know who I am and who he is, but when I’m with him, titles don’t matter. I just be wanting to make sure he’s proud of me being his.”

“Aww,” Nova swooned. “You’re going to be us soon. A pregnant gang wife.”

Their laughter carried on once again.

“For real though, you have nothing to worry about but these bitches,” Zebrina rolled her eyes. “Even knowing these men are married, they still try it.” She spoke while looking across the yard.

Forever followed her gaze and observed the two girls in swimsuits flouncing around the men. One was close to Egypt and BB, while the other was directly in Blue’s face, smiling. Forever’s whole body got hot as she watched her grinning up at him. His posture wasn’t giving much since all she could see was his back, but you didn’t have to move to smile, and judging by the smile on the girl’s face, he was probably giving one back.

“Don’t let it get to you, girl. I can bet you that Blue’s looking at her like she’s crazy. You know he don’t really smile.”

Forever didn’t know that. He was always smiling when she was around, but then again, that was now. When she’d first met him, he never cracked at all. But he hadn’t needed to. His eyes said it all.

“See, this why I left and never looked back. I hate to even see another woman in BB’s presence.” Zebrina said, while standing to her feet. “Let me go see about my husband before I be out here fighting.”

Azayna and Nova stood right behind her, prompting Forever to do the same thing. With two of the women beingpregnant, she didn’t presume a fight would take place, but she wasn’t really sure. This wasn’t her home or anything remotely close to her comfort zone.

“You already know it’ll never get that far with BB standing there, and even if it does, who you fighting with me right here?” Azayna said. “Got to know I’m slapping a hoe ‘bout you.”

“Don’t worry, you’re fine.” Nova grabbed Forever’s hand, reassuring her sweetly.

She wasn’t sure whether the discomfort she felt was visible or not, but she was thankful for Nova’s support. The walk across the yard warranted the same type of stares as it had when she’d crossed it the first time. Only this time was a little worse since Forever wasn’t as peaceful as she had been the first trip, and oddly, because of the other women. The dislike for them was very clear, and though Forever wasn’t sure why, she was almost positive it was due to the different gang affiliation.

As hard as she’d tried to keep herself calm, her heart rate was beginning to speed up, causing subtle tremors to take over her body. The only thing keeping her from completely falling apart was the fact that the girl in the swimsuit was still in Blue’s face, smiling like he was her man and not Forever’s.

“Watch this,” Azayna whispered to the group before walking ahead of them and beneath the covered porch where the men were. “Damn, y’all hoes ain’t got no manners. All in these men faces like they don’t have wives.”

Now positioned in front of Egypt with her back to his chest and arms folded. As if he wasn’t the male version of her, Egypt wrapped one arm around her chest, seeming to keep her calm.

“Dream, please don’t start that shit today. Don’t nobody want Egypt,” the girl who had been the closest to him and BB spoke first.

“First of all, it’s Azayna hoe, and what you over here for if you don’t want problems?”

“You sure were standing mighty close for somebody that doesn’t want him,” Zebrina made her presence known. “Unless it was Blaze you were looking at,” the smile on Zebrina’s face was a mass contradiction to what was coming out of her mouth.

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