Page 49 of Feeling Blue

“You really do. I know him, and Mommy would love you.”

Slouched back in the seat with his long legs wide open, he threw one arm over the porch banister and looked her over. Just as relaxed as him, Zurena remained in her position, trading eye contact until she could no longer take it. Although she had the tendency to be just as quiet and mysterious as him, he had her beat. There was nothing in the world more intimidating than the way Blue stared at people.

If you didn’t already know him and how he was, you would assume he either had a problem with you or that you had something wrong with your appearance. His gaze made you feel insecure as hell, and Zurena was his sister and felt it. She could only imagine how strangers felt. Unless you were Forever. Zurena rolled her eyes at the thought. Blue clearly loved the girl, and it made her feel some type of way that she couldn’t explain.

“What’s up with you and that girl?”

“We together,” he told her without hesitation.

“You don’t even know her. I get that you feel grateful to her for winning your case, but how long have you really known her for you to be claiming her as yours?”

“Long enough. What’s your problem with her? I’d think you’d be her biggest fan since she freed your brother.”

“Never been a fan of anybody,” she brushed him off with a wave of her hand.

His silence was a solid enough response, even if he didn’t render one. Zurena knew he was irritated with her. That’s the only time he got quiet with her. Any other time, he was all smiles and jokes. Which led her to her next conclusion.

“You’re really serious about her?”

“You can’t tell? You know me better than anybody outside of Auntie and Jugg. Even both of them are happy for me, why you not?”

When Zurena heard the defeat in his voice, she instantly felt bad. She’d never want him to think she found solace in his unhappiness, but Blue was her baby. Had been since their parents passed away. Her protectiveness over him was next level, and nobody would ever understand it. Not even him. Death broke her heart in a way that nothing ever had, and the only thing she could imagine would be worse than losing her parents, would be losing her brother right afterwards.

“I am happy for you, Zurich. Nothing makes me happier than seeing you happy and here,” she smiled in his direction. “I’m just trying to be logical. I know how you are when you love a woman. You let Journey run all over you, have a baby, and everything, and I’m not letting Forever do that.”

“Let?” Blue leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “You do know I’m a grown ass man and Forever is a grown woman, don’t you? You can’t let us do anything,” he chuckled.

“You know what I mean, smart ass.”

“Rena, tell me what’s wrong with you and don’t say nothing because it must be something. Forever is not your issue.”

Zurena pondered her thoughts and whether she should share them with her brother or just continue keeping thingsquiet and to herself until she could figure out what was going on around her. She’d been suffering in silence for a while, trying to piece together her own happiness, but failed or turned to the wrong people every time.

“How you know she’s not? She got a smart-ass mouth.”

“And you have a mean one. You’ve been this way for a while. What’s good? Let me help you.”

A heavy exhale escaped her as she looked out toward the street.

“Is it a nigga?”

Without further thought, she nodded.

“What he do?”

“He just doesn’t treat me the way I want him to, but I love him, so I be allowing stupid shit.”

“Like?”

Her mouth remained closed as the truth weighed so heavy on her that opening her mouth seemed impossible.

“He’s in another relationship, but I had him first,” she hurried to say in an effort to make sure she didn’t sound like the side chick she’d been for the past five years.

“First isn’t only, and that’s what you should be shooting for when talking about you love somebody. You’re too good to be cheated on and pushed to the side. You’re mean as hell, but you’re pretty and loyal. You make good money and take good care of yourself and your family. A wife, Rena. That’s what you are, and men know wives when they see one, so if that nigga play on your top like that, then he’s not ready to be a husband. Because, if he was, he’d either leave you alone or marry you. He’s dragging you along because he can see your wife material too and don’t want to let it go until he’s ready to step up.”

“He says we’re going to get married.”

“Why he with another woman, then?”

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