Page 51 of Feeling Blue

“I’m doing my best not to take your behavior so personally because you’re Zurich’s sister, and if my sister was here and seeing how you’ve been treating me for absolutely no reason, you two would have been fighting by now,” Forever released a chortle that sounded more like a scoff, while Zurena sucked her teeth loudly and waved her hand dismissively.

“The same way you don’t play about him, she doesn’t play about me, so I get it. What I don’t get is why, instead of being happy that he found a woman that wants to take care of him, see him free, and living a good life, you’d prefer to make him feel bad about something he can’t control. This man loves me, as he fucking should.” Forever stood to her feet. “You or nobody else is going to change that. I don’t care if we’re in Miami or in California, where the rich white people at my firm live, if anybody and I do mean anybody,” her eyes shifted up and down Zurena’s body to emphasize her point. “Disrespects me, him, or what we have going on, shits going to get real wicked. I’m nice, really I am, but stop trying me, Zurena.”

Forever stood in the middle of the porch, not even a buck twenty, as if she didn’t have a fear in the world. Zurena didn’t know whether to laugh at her or swing on her. She could respect the balls she had because she hadn’t’ expected to get read like that, but she would also beat Forever’s skinny ass worse than her mama ever had.

“Blue-Blue, I’ll wait on you inside. Let me know when you’re ready, but don’t feel rushed, babe. I’m good. Your auntie loves me.”

Without even glancing in Zurena’s direction, she let herself back into the house, letting the screen door slam closed behind her.

“You being real fucked up right now, Zurena,” Blue’s deep raspy voice was low, but she could hear him just fine. “You coming at Forever like that, but is that how you see me? A jailbird felon? Just a gang banger? Because you’re at her throat, but you’re the one dragging a nigga.” He stood, and Zurena’s heart leapt in her chest.

“Zurich, don’t leave. You know I don’t think that about you.”

“I can’t tell, shit. You doing me worse than everybody. I’ll holla at you, Rena.” He hugged her quickly, pecking her forehead before entering the house and leaving her on the porch alone once again.

With tears rising in her eyes, Zurena snatched her keys from her pocket and headed off the porch toward her car. She’d been waiting all week to see her brother, only to have ruined their time together. When she’d first learned of Forever, she’d been annoyed but had promised herself she’d do her best to be nice, but after seeing how pretty she was and how her brother loved on her, she’d become jealous.

Not in a way that another woman who wanted Zurich would be, but in a way that made her wonder why she couldn’t have a man to love her like that. She was tired of being on the side and getting only half of what she deserved. She wanted love just like everybody else, and for the life of her, she couldn’t get it.

When she was finally in her car and headed home, her mind began to free. It had been on ten since leaving her aunt’s house, but turning into her neighborhood gave her a fresh feeling. Too bad, it was short-lived. The moment she turned into her driveway and saw her boyfriend’s car along the curb, sherolled her eyes. Typically, she’d be happy to see him, but they’d been arguing all day due to his baby mama’s social media story from the night before.

It had clearly been the hoe’s birthday, so her and all her lil’ homegirls were on a party bus drunk and being wild, with his stupid ass dead center, letting her sit in his lap, kiss all over his face, and dance drunkenly all over the same dick that had just been deep in Zurena’s southern walls hours prior. As if that hadn’t been enough, he’d had the nerve to have some of the gang with him as well. Just knowing his friends knew the baby mama and not her made her feel betrayed. As small as it was, it still hurt.

“Where you been?” he questioned as soon as she was out of the car and headed toward her door.

“My auntie house, why?” She turned to face him. “Where you been?”

“At the trap.”

“Sure, you have.” She let herself in, with him following close behind.

“I hope you’re not still on that bullshit from earlier. Let it go, Rena. You know what the fuck be going on. You act like I had any other choice.”

“Of course you did, Rico! You didn’t have to be there. It was her birthday, not yours.”

“What it looks like, me not being at her birthday celebration when she’s my baby mama, come on Rena. You’re being unreasonable.”

“But it was okay to miss mine?” she perched on the hallway table with her arms crossed. “When me and my girls were out at the club, you didn’t even pull up. I wasn’t even trying to blow ourspot up, just wanted you to slide through and show love, but you couldn’t even do that.”

“I was with the gang the night of your party.”

“You were with them last night too. I saw Jugg, Yayo, and Wale. The same three niggas you claimed you were with on my birthday.”

“I wasn’t with Jugg the night of your party.”

“I know you weren’t because, unlike you, he was a real nigga and he pulled up and celebrated with me, because that’s what people do when they love you!”

Seeing Rico lie to her face always put her deeper in her feelings because he didn’t give a fuck. He’d lie to her and make her feel tiny without remorse, but got with his baby mama and put on like it was the norm.

“Rico, just get out of my house. I don’t even know why I keep playing myself with you.”

Desiring to be blind to the truth, Zurena turned and walked up the hallway toward her room. She listened closely with each step she took, to hear had the front door closed. When she didn’t hear anything, she mentally prepared herself to hear more lies. Her room was just how she’d left it, with the bed made and nothing out of place. A clean house was one of the only perks of living alone. Even with some of Rico’s things lying on the floor and dresser, it was still clean.

“Rena,” he called out from the entrance to her bedroom. “I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad.”

“Come give me a hug then.”

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