Page 92 of Feeling Blue

He nodded and hung up the phone to chase Bridges into their room. When he reached the threshold of their bedroom, he could hear her in the bathroom gurgling. He rushed to her aid. She was crouched in front of the toilet, vomiting harshly.

“Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

Unable to speak, she continued spewing the contents of her stomach before flushing the toilet and standing weakly to her feet. With her light skin flushed red, she leaned over the sink in her pink pajama set and dashed her face with water. Her red eyes were sunken and swollen from obvious tears.

“Please leave, Marcellus.”

“No, I want to be here,” he rushed to her too fast, and had to lean on the counter to keep from getting dizzy.

“Stop lying to me and just go. I don’t want you here.”

“Baby,” he tried grabbing her, but she stepped out of his grasp and tried to leave the bathroom.

His strong hands on her arms stopped her. “Bridges, please. I’m just in a really fucked up place right now. I got so much shit on my mind that I can’t think straight.”

“That’s your problem, not mine. I have a son that needs his mother, and another one growing inside of me, that also needs me to be healthy. You cause me nothing but heartache. Leave my house, and do not,” she gritted her teeth while staring into his weary eyes. “And I mean this with all my heart, do not contact me or come by here until you’ve gotten yourself together, and even then, come as a co-parent. Any love stuff between us is over. You’re not about to keep playing over me like I’m nothing.”

That time, when she pulled away, he let her. With slumped shoulders and a bowed head, Marcellus stood in the middle of the bathroom floor, unsure of what move to make next. His life was truly in shambles, and it was apparent that nothing he said or did to either of the women was going to work.

“Fuck,” he groaned before leaving the bathroom, their bedroom, and the house.

With no destination in mind, he got into his car, way past the legal limit of alcohol, and took off into the night. The responsible part of him knew he had no business driving in the state he was in, but trying to tell his heart that was a bust. The feeling he was harboring was foreign, and it was drowning out all his good sense, because none of that mattered. Nothingmattered. Not even life. What was the point of even living if he couldn’t have the woman he loved?

“Fuck it,” Marcellus growled to himself as he pressed the gas pedal to the floor. “Fuck everybody! Fuck Forever, Fuck Bridges, Fuck Goody and that bitch ass jailbird. Just fucking fuck it!” he screamed in a fashion that was so unlike him, he didn’t even recognize himself. Full to the top with anger and pain, he released a few tears while swerving in and out of the darkness. “Mama, I’m sorry.” He whispered while watching his speedometer pass the one-hundred mark. “I love you, ma. I’m sorry.”

I trust that you’ll be different

“Nigga, what the hell you over there smiling so hard for?” Pat glanced over at Blue as they cruised further down the highway.

With the same smirk he’d been wearing moments prior still on his face, Blue grinned at Pat guiltily. “The fuck you watching me for?”

“This my shit. I can look where I wanna damn look.”

“And nigga, I can smile if I want to.” Blue sat back in the seat again and allowed the warm wind from outside to brush against his face.

He’d just landed back in Miami, and he was missing his baby already. It had taken an act of Congress to even get him to leave her, but he and she both had business to handle and couldn’t get it done laid up in Goody’s guest room. Though their time together had been everything and more, Blue wasn’t a fan of being a guest in someone else’s home for too long. Even if the home was big enough for them not to see anybody but each other, if that’s how they wanted it.

But I love my sister. I want to be here with them too. Being with everybody I love at once makes me happy.

Forever’s soft voice had convinced him to continue laying up at her sister’s crib every time he suggested getting a hotel room or an Airbnb while they were in town, and though he’d preferred to be in their own spaces, crashing with Goody hadn’tbeen too bad. The only bad thing about his time in Georgia had been leaving her.

“You might as well stop looking sad. You knew we had to dip,” Blue squeezed Forever’s hand, prompting her to look up at him.

“I know, but I’m not ready for you to go yet.”

“I’m not ready to be away from you at all, but we ain’t got no other choice right now. You’ve got to get yourself back to work, and I have to see what’s going on in the city for a minute.”

Blue watched Forever’s head of dark hair fall when she dropped her head again. Seeing her mope around as he pulled her through the airport behind him made leaving her that much harder, but what he’d said was true. They lived on two different ends of the world, with two different lives, and whether it be for a long or short time, they had to separate for a little bit.

“You want to come with me?” He leaned over enough to see her face.

She nodded her head slowly, still looking at the floor.

“Aye, I’m up here.”

Her beautiful, dark face turned in his direction, landing sad brown eyes on him. Her mouth was poked out in a pout, and her body language screamed discontent.

“What day do you have to go back to work?”

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