Page 41 of Just Desserts

"With how she's been acting, it's not too wild a theory. I also remember thinking it was strange she didn't give Wes a heads up that you weren't coming and she didn't seem upset when she told us you were sick."

I shrugged, not wanting to stir up old feelings but honestly not sure if it was a crazy theory. I looked up to find Isla staring at me, studying my face. I found her eyes and held her gaze, curious as to what she would ask or say then.

"Something happened during that trip. I could hear it in your reaction the day of the surveillance footage, and I can see it now there's something about that visit has you feeling a very certain way about Alyssa. Can you tell me? If you're not comfortable I understand but I'm just curious. I guess I feel like in order to go forward I need to look at my past in a new light? Or is that just an excuse so I can find enough reasons to justify hating her? Just, writing her off entirely as a bad person?"

Isla looked so sad for a moment, like a lost little girl. Instinctually, I reached for her hand and held it on top of the table. She looked up and I waited until her eyes met mine.

"You don't need any additional reasons to cut Alyssa off. She's done enough to you, you're not responsible for her. That being said, she did not make a great impression during that trip."

I quickly gave Isla a rundown of the frat party and was delighted to see her laugh when I got to the part where I had to send Alyssa home.

"No wonder she never wanted to talk about that trip! She was so tightlipped I was sure she had walked in on Wes and a girl or something super traumatic."

Over the next few hours Juan kept Isla's glass filled as we went through rounds of food including Enchiladas, Burritos, Chiles Rellenos, and sides of fried plantains and Mexican Street corn. We had just finished up our entrees and I believe Isla was finishing her second margarita. She was adorably flushed and her eyes were slightly glazed. She leaned forward and got serious after a moment.

"This is so nice. I feel like I never got to do stuff like this. Jonathan was always so picky. He only wanted to go out to places that were impressive, that he could brag about in his Monday meeting. Sorry, I know I shouldn't talk about him."She looked embarrassed and I hated that so I replied quickly.

"Why not? You were together for a very long time, he's still actively in your life even though I know that's not what you want. We can't pretend he doesn't exist. I care about you Isla. I want to know about you, everything about you. I understand that right now, where you are, a lot of that is going to tie back to Jonathan."

She looked at me, silently for a moment before nodding.

"You're right, I know you're right. Sometimes it's easier not to talk about him, just to pretend none of it ever happened and that it will all be over soon. Other times I feel like there's a voice inside my head screaming, wishing everyone around me knew what I was going through. I was at the supermarket the other day and while the lady was scanning my items I wanted to shake her. She was so calm, chatting away and I just wanted to grab her, force her to acknowledge the fucking insanity that is my life."

She told me, looking slightly frazzled. She took another sip of her drink, a cute frown appearing as she realized she reached the bottom. I made eye contact with Juan who went to bring her a new drink.

I moved a plate with half a burrito over towards her and passed her a full glass of water. Encouraging her to keep eating if she was going to continue drinking I asked her some questions.

"What else would you want to do, you know, things that were too low brow for Jonathan."

She sat back in her seat, closed her eyes as if actively thinking.

"Karaoke. I want to sing terrible karaoke in a small bar somewhere. Bowling! I haven't gone since I was a kid." She beamed at Juan as he swapped her drink out and refreshed thebasket of chips.

"Paintball. Well, maybe not. I don't think I would be able to run in the gear, and I think it hurts when you get hit, but I can do it if I want to!" She was yelling at this point, working herself up into a tizzy. Her red cheeks, wide blue eyes and wild hair made her look almost electrified.

"I just want to have fun. I don't want to think about what other people want anymore. I don't want to care what other people think. I don't want perception to dictate my activities. His parents always cared so much about public opinion, brand names and the latest gadgets. And fuck him for being such a coward he sent them to confront me! Of all people! Can you believe that!"

The flip in conversation startled me but I listened carefully, trying to follow the jumps in her thought process.

"When was the last time you spoke with him? Is there any movement in the divorce now that they have the evidence from the hotel?"

"Lydia says we have Jonathan cornered and it's just a matter of him accepting he lost the case. At this point I could push for even more assets but I'm just trying to get it done. I'm sure everything he's doing is to get some semblance of control over me, and I don't want him to have that."

She sighed then visibly shook herself.

"Enough talking about Jonathan, I'm so tired of talking and thinking and pretending not to talk or think about him. It's making me crazy. I've already sacrificed so many parts of myself that I have to fight to get back from him, from the time spent together. I don't need to waste any more time or energy on him." She stated solemnly.

She had her hand on the table still and I reached for it again, smiling as she weaved her fingers through mine like it was something we did all the time.

"You're doing an amazing job. The way you're handling all of this, I don't have the words. I'm just happy you're letting me be a part of this chapter in your life. I can't wait to see what you're going to do, and trust me Isla, it will be amazing."

She blushed beautifully from head to toe and avoided eye contact. She wasn't the best at taking compliments but I let it go, especially when Juan came over with the dessert menu.

I was sipping on coffee, watching as Isla's eyes got droopy. She was struggling to stay awake so she could finish the flan Juan brought over to her. It was adorable, but I admired her dedication to dessert. She caught me looking at her and stopped, mid spoonful.

"What?" She asked before finishing the bite she was eating. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"How am I looking at you?" I asked, curious to know how she saw me.

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