Page 58 of Just Desserts

I wanted Jonathan because he was Isla's. It was something I could take from her. But Myles, Myles was mine. He was the one thing I kept for myself. I didn't dare breathe his name for the risk of somehow putting their paths on a course to cross. In the smallest, furthest recesses of my mind there was a part of me I kept buried. It held my deepest dreams and desires, ones I knew were right and ones I knew were wrong but either way I couldn't shake them.

Myles lived there. He didn't belong here, in this world, looking down at my cousin like she was his everything. Isla looked the same as always, beautiful and poised. Unfazed. I hated her. It burned through me, making me want to claw at her hair and skin. Light her on fire, hold her head underwater. I wanted to hear her screams, I wanted her to hurt the way I hurt.

She didn't know what it was like! She had no idea what it felt like to lose yourself so deeply in someone's shadow that you don't know where they end and you begin. Isla had eclipsed me her entire life, and the one time I got close to dimming her light she came out guns blazing.

There she sat with my biggest weakness, my one true desire. I watched her get out of the car and head to the entrance of the courthouse. She turned around and I could swear she was going to see me in the parking lot, recognize my car.

Instead, she only had eyes for Myles. I looked between the twoof them, their gazes locked and it felt like the rest of the world disappeared around them leaving just the two of them in their own bubble. Their connection was so palpable it was nearly suffocating. I was so distracted watching Isla and Myles that I didn't even see Jonathan park or enter the building.

I was debating leaving, not sure how much more I could take after seeing Myles with Isla when a familiar station wagon pulled into the lot. Jealousy, anger, outrage, and loneliness warred within me as I watched my parents and Aunt Laurel parking near the front of the courthouse. My brother Wes followed shortly after and I watched from the fringes as they all greeted each other.

My gut roiled as Myles got out of his car and hovered for a moment, waiting for Wes to call him over. They greeted each other enthusiastically and Myles ears turned pink as Wes said something to Aunt Laurel and my parents. All of their faces lit up with delight, my mom and Aunt Laurel had their heads together giggling like school girls.

This was the reaction I should have gotten when I told them I was pregnant. Instead of rejoicing at the new addition to the family they scorned me, sent me away. Now I had to watch as they willingly stood outside in the hot sun, waiting to celebrate Isla's divorce. My whole family stood there eagerly, waiting to further raise Isla up until she's so far out of my reach we can't even exist in the same plane.

I didn't think my heart could take anymore, watching the people that raised me so easily move on with their lives, one that I wasn't a part of. Tears streamed down my face and I angrily wiped them away, ashamed at letting them get to me. They all turned as a group to face the top of the entrance to the courthouse.

I watched, rage and despair flashing through me as Isladescended the steps. She looked lighter already, a glow about her. When Myles pulled her into his arms in front of everyone they radiated, it almost hurt to look at them; it was like looking directly into the sun. I averted my gaze only to see Jonathan's form bursting from the building.

He looked haggard, his suit hanging off him in some places and bulging in others. In the last few weeks as I kept my distance, I realized he had stopped working out and eating right. He was losing muscle in some places and replacing previously flat planes with layers of pizza and beer generated fat. His face looked bloated, his skin was a clammy yellow.

I took my time taking him in, allowing myself to watch him while his guard was down. I didn't realize it was possible for a man to slump further but I saw the moment Jonathan became aware of Myles and Isla. Saw the reality hit him in the gut, his body caving in on himself. His eyes went dull, almost glassy.

Where had the handsome, dominant, powerful man from a few short months ago gone? How had he fallen so hard and so fast? Was this all my doing? No. I refused to go there. This was Isla's fault and Jonathan was as much to blame as I was. With that thought boldening me I took my phone out and grabbed a few pictures of Isla and Myles kissing. These would be handy when confronting Jonathan later.

He had no reason now not to go public with our relationship, no reason to resist me so we could actually create the baby I said I was carrying. The house was set to sell at a good price, we could find something better once I sell my apartment too. I was keeping it for now, assuming Jonathan would need to stay with me until we found somewhere to move in together.

A house nice enough for the future partner of the firm with a young wife and child on the way. Now that they were officially divorced it was safe to come clean with HR about ourrelationship especially with marriage and a baby on the way. I could quit to become a stay at home mom as long as they kept Jonathan on. I never meant to work for long, I always expected to be a socialite and elite party host.

Jonathan may not be the man I thought he was, he may not even be the man I want but I refuse to admit defeat. I would see this all the way to the end. I would figure out a way out of this, I would grab Jonathan by the balls and pull him along with me if that's what it took to save face. Somehow, I would make Isla suffer, I would make her care, I would make her hurt.

Chapter 41

Myles

I had the AC blasting in my truck as I waited in the parking lot of the public courthouse. I wanted nothing more than to be inside there, next to Isla holding her hand. I heard my phone beep and grabbed it, hoping it was Isla. Thankfully in the privacy of my car I didn't have to hide my disappointment when I saw it was a text from Wes.

Are you waiting for Isla at the courthouse?

Yes, why do you need help with something?I typed back quickly.

Nah, you might though. Get ready to meet the fam, big guy!

I re-read the text, confused but not willing to dissect it at the moment. All I could focus on was making sure Isla got out of this and was OK. My emotions were all over the place, but my primary concern was for Isla. I knew she was stressed, and I could tell she hadn't slept a wink last night. For her sake, I wanted this done so she could move forward with her life.

Selfishly, I wanted this over with so that we could move forward with a life together. No longer tethered to that dirtbag, we could take those final steps to really solidify our relationship. Isla was it for me. Every fiber of my being knew she was the one for me. I wasn't in a rush. I felt that I had found her and we had all the time in the world together to strengthen that bond.

I knew she needed time, because I'd anticipated she'd feel confused and hesitant about jumping into a serious relationship so soon after her marriage. I respected that, and I didn't expect her to turn around and go back into the courthouse to marry me once this was over. However, I wouldn't let her use it as a reason to put distance between us.

I looked up briefly as an older model station wagon pulled in but didn't think much of it. Wes' texts made more sense when his familiar truck drove in shortly after, parking next to the station wagon. All passengers exited and I recognized Charlie and Susie, Wes and Alyssa's parents.

The small woman next to them had to be Isla's mom. Her resemblance to both Susie and Isla was undeniable. She was very slight, barely 5 feet tall if I had to guess. Her hair was a shimmering blend of grey, white and blonde weaved together into a bun at the nape of her neck.

A moment of concern washed over me, I didn't want to impose but we clearly all had the same reasons for being here. Before I could think much more of it, Wes caught sight of me and waved. I got out of my car, hovering for a second before Wes once again took the choice out of my hands, calling me over.

"Myles? Myles Bennett is that you?" Susie called as I approached the group. Smiling, I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek then reached a hand out to Charlie.

"Yes ma'am. It's good to see you both." I replied.

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